Yudin didn’t even look up at him. He was too busy gawking at the nearly unrecognizable ruins of their home base. He tugged on his hair so hard that Losenko half-expected the distraught seaman to rip out his scalp.
“Marina!” he called out hoarsely to the shore. “Holy God... MARINA!”
Who was Marina? Losenko wondered. His wife? His girlfriend? His daughter? The captain tried to remember if Yudin had a family. There were more than a 150 men aboard K-115. Shaking the thought away, he wheeled around toward Trotsky.
“Get a security team up here... now!”
Trotsky barked instructions into a mike, but Yudin’s crewmates were way ahead of him. Five more men scrambled out onto the deck to retrieve their shipmate. Choppy waves made it a risky endeavor, and none had taken the time to don lifejackets. The newcomers quickly lost track of the task at hand, as they were stunned by the sight of the murdered shore.
“You men, return to your posts,” Losenko bellowed, and three of the men glanced his way. Remembering their purpose, they moved toward Yudin, who fled to the very edge of the deck. He balanced precariously at the brink.
“Stay back!” he shouted hysterically. “Don’t touch me!”
His fellow seamen backed away warily, not wanting to provoke him into doing something rash. One held out his hands.
“Please, Nikolai!” the man said, the sound carried on the brisk, cold wind. “Come away from the edge. Let us talk to you. Let us help you!”
Up on the sail, Trotsky drew his sidearm. He nodded at the hysterical sailor below.
“Shall I intervene, sir?”
The captain shook his head. He doubted that Yudin cared for his own safety right now, and he did not appear to be armed. The man’s best hope lay in the open hands of his brothers-at-sea. He cursed himself for not anticipating such an incident. All his men had passed rigorous psychological testing before being allowed to serve on a ballistic missile submarine, but no amount of screening could predict how any one of them might react to the end of the world. What they were facing now was enough to drive the strongest man to despair... or madness.
An alarm sounded loudly across the deck.
A three-man security team, led by Master Chief Komarov, charged through the open hatch. Unlike the first group of would-be rescuers, they were fully equipped with lifejackets, nightsticks, and firearms. They had been warned what to expect, but even so they paused at the sight of what had become of Murmansk. Their chief was the first to regain his composure.
“Down on the deck!” Komarov ordered gruffly. “Hands where I can see them!”
“Leave me alone!” Yudin shrieked back at them. Crazed blue eyes darted back and forth between his comrades and the blasted wasteland ashore. When he spoke again, his voice was pleading. “It’s gone... they’re all gone!”
Losenko felt the situation slipping out of control. He knew in his heart where this was going.
“Yudin!” he barked at the top of his lungs. “This is your captain. You are not alone. We can all get through this together!”
This time he got the young midshipman’s attention. Yudin stared up from a dozen meters away. Their eyes met across the distance. The boy’s forlorn expression broke Losenko’s heart.
“I’m sorry, Captain!” he cried out. “But don’t you see? It’s too late. It’s too late for all of us!” He tore his gaze away from Losenko, turning his back on the other men. “I’m coming, Marina! I’m coming!”
No! Losenko thought, as if he might control the boy’s actions by sheer force of will. Don’t do it!
“Wait!” Komarov called. The crewmen surged forward... a moment too late.
Yudin flung himself from the deck, plummeting down into the frothing waters below. He hit the harbor with a splash. Frantic sailors rushed to the brink, risking their own safety.
“Nikolai!”
“Man overboard!” Trotsky shouted into a mike. A blaring klaxon sounded.
Losenko leaned out over the rail of the bridge, searching the waters below. At first, he feared that Yudin had been sucked under and drowned, but then he spotted young Nikolai bobbing to the surface several meters away from the sub. Without looking back, the sailor struck out for the shore, kicking and paddling with manic intensity.
Did he actually hope to find his long-lost Marina? Or had he simply been driven mad by grief?
His fellow officers spotted him as well. Another midshipman kicked off his shoes. He looked primed to dive in after Yudin. Others scurried back into the sub, perhaps to retrieve emergency rafts. Losenko was impressed by the men’s obvious determination to rescue their comrade.
Alas, he could not allow it.
“Stay where you are!” he shouted down at the men. “Do not leave this boat!”
Startled expressions greeted his orders.
“But... Captain....” Trotsky protested. “We have to get him back!”
“Belay that,” Losenko declared. Retrieving a man from the sea was a difficult and risky operation at the best of times, let alone when the man was suicidally determined not to be rescued. He had no intention of losing another man.
More objections came from the deck below.
“Please, Captain!” the shoeless midshipman begged. Other pleas joined the chorus. “We can still save him. Just give us a chance!”
Losenko turned to Trotsky. He held out his hand.
“Give me your sidearm.”
“What?” The deck officer blinked in surprise.
Losenko did not routinely carry a weapon aboard his own ship. “Give me the gun, damn you!”
Trotsky flinched. Losenko snatched the pistol from the deputy commander’s grip. Raising the binoculars to his eyes, he took aim at the swimming figure of Yudin. Waves batted the sailor back and forth, and the sailor’s soggy coveralls weighed him down, slowing his progress toward the shore. He hadn’t gotten too far yet.
“Captain!” Trotsky blurted out in alarm. “He’s just a boy!”
You think I don’t know that! Losenko thought. But nothing waited for Yudin ashore except a lingering death by radiation poisoning. And I’ll be damned if I send another man into that poisonous hellhole looking for him.
Yudin’s head and shoulders bobbed into sight.
Losenko pulled the trigger.
The sharp report of the pistol was the loudest thing any of the submariners had heard in weeks. The recoil jolted Losenko’s arm. The acrid smell of gunpowder polluted his nostrils. Through the binoculars, he saw Yudin disappear beneath the waves. A crimson froth spread across the water.
The captain’s stomach turned. He resisted the temptation to hurl the smoking pistol into the harbor. Instead he thrust it back into Trotsky’s hand.
“Silence those damn alarms.”
“Y-yes, sir,” the shaken officer stammered. He phoned down to the control room. The blaring klaxons went still. Dumbfounded crewmen milled about on the deck below. They looked confused and angry. Most of them were still reacting to what had just occurred. Losenko knew he had to tell them what to think before they turned against him for good.
He grabbed the mike.
“This is the captain,” he informed the entire crew. “Ensign Yudin attempted to desert this ship in a time of war. He has paid for this crime with his life. Let this be a lesson to you all.”
He slammed the mike into its cradle, more loudly than necessary. Then he turned to Trotsky, who snapped to attention.
“Increase security around the weapons locker,” he instructed, “and at all exit hatches—including the emergency escape trunk.”
Yudin would surely not be the last man to crack beneath the awful weight of Armageddon. Unless Losenko maintained a tight grip over the crew, he might soon be faced with a wave of suicides and desertions, maybe even a mutiny.