Presiding Judge Who was the woman?
Meiser A psychologist. She asked if I needed help. But I didn’t want any help, I had no idea what could possibly help me. My little daughter was at home lying in her bed not knowing about any of it. She was the one I kept thinking about the whole time. Not my husband, but my daughter.
Presiding Judge What did you do?
Meiser What did I do? Nothing.
Presiding Judge What happened next?
Meiser I can’t really remember any more. The policeman with the spots took me back to the arrivals hall. He asked me whether I wanted him to take me to my car or if someone would come and collect me. I just wanted to be left alone. I sat down on a bench in the arrivals hall and watched the sliding doors. It was really strange, I couldn’t cry. There were loads of police all over the airport, it was complete chaos. I didn’t listen to the announcements. I just sat there on the bench. I didn’t even call home. I don’t know if you can imagine this. I was waiting for him, watching the sliding doors, still believing he was going to come walking through them.
It’s so cruel to lose someone suddenly and not be able to say goodbye.
Presiding Judge I think we should take a break now.
Meiser No, please don’t. Can I ask something?
Presiding Judge Yes?
Meiser The police never told me: did the passengers get into the cockpit?
Presiding Judge I beg your pardon?
Meiser Did they manage to get into the cockpit?
Presiding Judge We don’t know. That was when the plane was shot down.
Meiser But that’s important. If they had, they could have stopped the terrorist, couldn’t they? Then there would have been no need to shoot the plane down. Would there?
Presiding Judge You went to the police again later?
Meiser No.
Presiding Judge For the court: page 96, Volume 14 in the files. According to the files you were there once more on 4th September?
Meiser Oh, that’s what you mean.
Presiding Judge Do you remember now?
Meiser Yes, I got a letter from the police. All the relatives went to Garching. We were taken to a big hall that belonged to the Air Force.
Presiding Judge Indeed. And what was there?
Meiser That’s where all their things were, the personal effects from the wreckage. They’d laid them all out on tables, these long metal tables.
Presiding Judge Was anything returned to you there?
Meiser Just his left shoe. It’s not that important.
Presiding Judge Perhaps it is. Please, tell us about the shoe.
Meiser I looked at everything in the hall carefully, along with the other people. There were so many things there, suitcases, watches, briefcases and so forth. But nothing of my husband’s. Then, right at the end, at the very back in the last row, I found it, his left shoe. It was in good condition, no scratches, no blood, nothing.
You see, my husband had always really looked after his shoes. He always bought expensive shoes, his favourites were horse leather. He said they might be more expensive but they’d last longer. I took his left shoe off the table. I had to sign a form for it. Then they wanted to wrap it up in a bag but I took it just as it was. It sat next to me on the passenger seat all the way home, that shoe.
My daughter’s seven, Your Honour. At the funeral she asked me what was in the coffin if Daddy wasn’t there.
I didn’t know what to say. She’s right, we buried an empty coffin. My daughter thought that was really stupid, praying beside an empty coffin. I couldn’t pray at all. Later I went and buried the shoe in the woods, on my own. I don’t know if that was right, burying the shoe.
I’m sorry, that probably doesn’t make much sense to you. I just don’t understand.
Presiding Judge Yes, Mrs Meiser.
Meiser It’s hard for my daughter. You know, you just can’t explain it. She told me she’s already forgotten what Daddy used to smell like. His smell.
Presiding Judge Thank you, Mrs Meiser.
Meiser Can I have my phone back? I’d like to have that text, can you understand that?
Presiding Judge Yes, I do understand. Your telephone will be returned to you as soon as the trial has been concluded. We still require it as evidence. I’m very sorry.
Meiser That’s what everyone said.
Presiding Judge What?
Meiser ‘I’m sorry.’ It doesn’t mean anything, when people say that.
Presiding Judge I can’t give it to you.
Meiser Yes.
Presiding Judge Are there any further questions for the joint plaintiff and witness?
The Prosecutor and Defence Counsel shake their heads.
Mrs Meiser, thank you, you are now discharged as a witness. If you wish, you are welcome to follow the remainder of the trial.
Meiser leaves the room.
Presiding Judge I will now inform you of the defendant’s criminal record: there are no entries, Mr Koch has no previous convictions.
If there are no further questions, motions or proposals –
The State Prosecutor and Defence Counsel shake their heads.
– then that completes the evidence. Prosecutor, do you require any time to prepare your closing statement?
State Prosecutor Yes, I will need a short break.
Presiding Judge Fine. Then let’s adjourn for twenty minutes. (Turns to the Guard once again.) Call everyone again in twenty minutes.
The Presiding Judge stands and leaves the courtroom. At the same time all other members of the court stand.
Interval.
Act Two
The entire court except the Presiding Judge is seated or standing in their places. The Guard walks to the front of the stage.
Guard All those attending the trial please return to the courtroom, the proceedings are about to continue. All those attending the trial please return to the courtroom, the proceedings are about to continue.
The Presiding Judge enters the courtroom, everyone stands up.
Presiding Judge Please be seated.
All sit.
Prosecutor, we will now hear your closing statement.
State Prosecutor (stands) Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen judges – I will say right away: the defendant is not a criminal. His actions are far removed from those we usually investigate in this courtroom. He has killed neither his wife nor her lover, he has not robbed, not committed fraud, and not stolen. On the contrary: by the standards of our society Lars Koch has up until now led an impeccable life, he has done absolutely nothing wrong. One cannot find the slightest fault with him. And I can say that I have been impressed by the integrity and seriousness of his thinking. Lars Koch is not a defendant who attempts to explain away what he has done with tales of childhood trauma, psychic disturbance or some other excuse. He is highly intelligent, level-headed, a man who is in a position to distinguish between right and wrong. Indeed he can probably do so better than most people. Everything that Lars Koch did, he did with full awareness, in absolute clarity. He was convinced that it was the right thing to do and he remains so.