The air was so still she wasn’t sure Adam was there. He could have passed through the door on the other side of the room. He’d shown no interest in talking to Bergette. Why had she thought he would want to talk to her?
She reached a hand out and touched the thick cotton lace cloth that covered a round table in the center of the room. “Adam?” She wanted to say his name one more time even to an empty room. “Adam?”
He moved in the darkness.
She waited. Listening. Her trained senses judging where he stood.
“I thank you and your brother for the help.” His words were forced, almost hard. “The McLains are in your debt. If there is ever a way to repay, name the price.”
“There’s no need-”
“The McLains pay their debts,” he interrupted with words laced in anger.
Before she could think of anything to say, he was gone out the far door and taking the stairs three at a time without a word of good-bye.
Nichole returned to the kitchen. She watched Willow with the babies for a while. When both infants were fed and sleeping, Nichole offered the girl a bowl of stew. While Willow ate, Nichole pulled a cot from the downstairs bedroom.
“I think Daniel would want you to sleep here by the babies.” Adam and Daniel had moved a cradle by the stove a few hours before the funeral. “Daniel may not be in tonight but he’ll know you are watching after the twins. Will you be all right here?”
Willow nodded. “Long as I got water. I get mighty thirsty after they feed.”
Nichole checked the pitcher.
“And,” Willow turned her head down and to the side as if afraid to ask, “would anyone mind if I ate that bread on the table if the little girls wake me up tonight? This stew is the first meal I’ve had today. Pa never lets me eat until all my chores are done.”
“No one will mind,” Nichole answered. “And help yourself to the jam May made.”
“May?”
“May was their mother.” Nichole couldn’t help but smile at the sleeping infants. “I didn’t know her well, but I think she’d be pleased if you ate what she made. From what I hear, she was a great cook. Remember to tell the twins that when they’re older. And tell them she was brave, very brave to the end.”
“I will,” Willow answered as she lay down on her cot. “And I’ll tell them how their pa chopped down a whole barn the night after they was born.”
Nichole lifted her holster from a peg by the door and lowered the lamp’s glow before heading upstairs. Halfway up, she realized she hadn’t asked Wes which one of the small rooms on the second floor was his.
But when she reached the landing, one door was closed tightly. Somehow she knew that room was Adam’s.
He’d closed himself off. If she left at first light, she might never see him again. Nichole stood in the hallway, letting the weight of the day move over her like murky water, pressing against her lungs until she could hardly breathe. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her heart to the rhythm of Dan’s chopping. A kind being had passed from this earth only hours ago, and no one might ever speak of her except Willow to say that she could cook. The twins might never know how dearly the three men downstairs had loved their mother and how much their father had cherished her. And how hard they’d all fought to save her. Nichole shook with the pain May’s death had caused all in the house.
Suddenly, a hand touched her arm. Nichole jumped, bolting to run as she grabbed for her weapon.
“Nichole?” Adam whispered from only inches away. “Are you all right?” His hand moved gently along her shoulder.
Before she could think that he might not welcome such an action, she wrapped her arms around him and held tightly, preparing to fight if he tried to push her away. The McLains might need no one, but she needed to hold on tight for a few minutes.
But he didn’t pull away. He hugged her back with all the hurt and anger and sorrow he had bottled up inside.
For a long while, they just hugged, sharing a weight each was tired of bearing alone. There was so much they didn’t know about one another. But it didn’t matter at this moment. All that mattered was that her lean body molded so perfectly against his… her arms held him grounded to earth… and his grip pulled her safely from drowning.
He moved away just enough to brush his cheek against hers. “Stay with me tonight,” he whispered against her hair. “Like you did the night we met. Make everything but your warmth go away for a few hours.” He kissed her cheek lightly. “Let me hold you.”
Without a word, Nichole followed him through his open doorway. She placed her holster on his bedpost and lowered herself to the bed.
Slowly, he closed the door, circled and slid beside her, pulling her against him as he spread a blanket over them both.
She moved her hand over his chest and felt his heart. Some pains are too great for words. He’d come home, to the place he’d probably dreamed of all during the war, to find his dreams shattered in silence.
Touching him lightly, she tried to smooth away the pain. His body seemed to relax next to her. Within minutes, he was breathing slowly, deeply.
Nichole stretched and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Yank,” she whispered.
The chopping continued, blending with the rain. Beating with the rhythm of a clock as the minutes of the night passed.
SEVEN
DEEP INTO THE blackness of night, nichole stretched, moving against Adam for warmth. He rolled slightly toward her. Slowly, the brush of his breath against her throat tickled her awake. She lay in the darkness, feeling his chest rise and fall beside her own.
With fluid movements, she raised her hand and outlined the length of his body from shoulder to hip. He was thin, but she felt his muscles tighten as she traveled over them. The smooth softness of the cotton of his shirt contrasted with the coarse twill of his pants.
Leaning forward, she inhaled deeply. “Adam,” she whispered. No man had ever smelled so good. She’d know him anywhere, even in total darkness. The hint of shaving soap, wool, and fireplaces seemed baked, ever so lightly, into his skin.
Before she thought of what she was doing, Nichole leaned closer and ran her tongue along his throat, sampling the slightly salty taste of him.
When he didn’t move, she unbuttoned his collar button and tasted again of the warm flesh once hidden beneath his shirt.
She’d never been so close to a man and had no idea how a lady was to behave, nor did she care. In a few hours it would be time for her to go back to her world and she wanted to return with enough memories of Adam to last her a lifetime.
As his easy breathing became a rhythm in her ear, Nichole slipped the next button free and continued her exploration.
With his chest bare, she laid her cheek against the soft hair covering his skin and captured the pounding of his heart in her ear. In some small way, maybe because he’d saved her life, he was hers. If only for a few hours in the darkness of this one night.
Nichole pushed his shirt away and moved her hand over his chest and down to his waist as he slept soundly. He had not been a man who’d trained himself to awaken to the slightest sound or movement as she’d been trained. Now that lack of skill kept him soundly sleeping as she touched him.
She wondered if she was touching him as he’d caressed her the night they’d met. What had he said? It had been so long since he’d touched anything of beauty. No one had ever hinted that she might be pretty, much less beautiful. The only time Wolf complimented her was on her abilities as a Shadow.
She began at Adam’s face, letting her cheek gently rub against his, lightly tasting his flesh as she moved down. When she reached the plain of his abdomen, she rested her face against the warm softness of his skin. Smiling, she realized she felt very much like an animal nestled deep inside a winter cave with her mate. A hundred cold nights when she’d hugged herself to keep from freezing, she’d wondered how a man would feel beside her.