They said it like it somehow made everything I’d gone through okay. Like what I suffered was somehow less now because my body wasn’t violated like they assumed.
It really, really made me angry.
This wasn’t just about me. It was also about Mary and whoever else came before us. “He was going to,” I said, and once again all eyes turned to me.
“How do you know that?”
“He made his intent pretty clear,” I hedged.
Nathan was sitting very still and staring at the floor. I glanced at him, feeling unease curling through my limbs.
“Maybe you should wait outside, Mr. Reed.”
“No,” I said, reaching for his hand. I didn’t want him to go. This was hard enough to say out loud. Knowing Nathan was here and that he somehow understood something about pain made it easier.
Before the officers could insist, I opened my mouth and let it pour out. “He held me down,” I said. “He… um… he took himself out.” I paused, looking at the officers, hoping they would understand. Both of them wore a disgusted look so I knew they understood perfectly. “And he tried to shove it in my mouth.”
Nathan glanced at me. “The truck?” he whispered, harsh.
I nodded.
He ripped his hand from mine and hooked it around the back of my head, pulling me into his chest. He still smelled like pine trees, and I let it fill my senses.
“Is that all?” one of the officers asked.
I lifted my head, anger on my face. “Well, aside from being kicked, slapped, punched, shot at, groped, and thrown into a thirty-foot hole in the ground, I guess that about covers it.”
“We meant no disrespect,” the second officer spoke.
“Yeah, I know.” I relented.
“I think we have all we need for now. We’ll leave a card. If you remember anything else, please contact us.”
“Wait,” I called. “Did you find him? Is he in jail?”
The officers exchanged a long look. I knew what that meant.
“I’m afraid the suspect is still at large.”
Why did they keep calling him the “suspect?” He was frickin’ guilty as sin. “You have to find him,” I implored.
“The department is doing everything we can, ma’am.”
“It isn’t enough!” I shouted.
“We’ll let you know when we’ve apprehended the—”
“Suspect.” I spat the word for him. I hoped he realized how disgusted I was by the police department’s incompetence.
He had the grace to flush as the second officer let himself out the door. Before following behind, he turned back and cleared his throat. “I should probably caution you, ma’am,” he began. “You need to remain precautious and alert until he is in custody.”
I nodded, the hair on the back of my neck rising just a little.
And then I was alone with Nathan. I looked at him. “What a bunch of idiots,” I muttered. “If you hadn’t found me, I’d probably be dead by now. They certainly wouldn’t have found me.”
He grimaced. “I had to show them where the hole was.”
I covered my mouth with my hand and giggled. It was terrible, but if I couldn’t laugh, I might start screaming. The sudden burst of laughter caused me to wince in pain.
“Easy,” Nathan cautioned, placing a hand on my shoulder and pressing me back in the bed. “You need to rest.”
How the heck was I supposed to rest when that man was still out there?
20
Nathan
I spent the night watching her sleep. Sometimes I saw her face twist in fear and pain; sometimes I would hear a low whimper.
I knew that sound, and I imaged my face likely looked a lot like hers—except much uglier—when I slept. I was thankful for the meds in her IV because I knew once she got home, she wouldn’t get much rest.
Nightmares would likely plague her.
The police were a bunch of idiots. They had no idea how to talk to people who’d been through hell. They had no idea how to search the woods. Shit, I had to leave the hospital and drive out there to show them where the hole was.
It made me angry. Leaving her lying there, all black and blue, with her face in a permanent grimace, was surprisingly hard. It was only after I made sure a police officer stayed behind that I left for the mountain.
Where I got angry all over again.
When I first found Honor, she hadn’t been in the hole. Lex pulled her up. The rope ladder was still lying in a heap on the ground. One of the officers shined a large light down into the hole… and I felt sick. It was a muddy, dark pit. She spent fifteen hours down there. The thought replayed over and over in my mind until I had to turn away.
Even still, the sight remained. The rain finally stopped but had come down so hard there were several inches of water just sitting stagnant at the bottom. It was likely ice cold. He would have left her down there to freeze, to fear, and then he planned to come back to kill her.
Maybe it was a good thing the cops couldn’t find him. He was safer that way. Of course, his safety was the very last thing I cared about.
Once I showed them the scene of the crime and answered a million other questions and showed them my Wrangler with the ruined tires, I finally went back to the hospital where I took up residence beside her bed.
It really wasn’t that uncomfortable. I’d slept in worse places.
She was being released from the hospital soon, and the police still hadn’t brought in Lex. They weren’t going to. Enough time passed that he was likely long gone or in a place no one knew about, plotting out some sick plan.
It was hard to say. People who weren’t right in the head were very unpredictable. I glanced at Honor, who wasn’t doing a very good job of resting.
I wouldn’t rest easy, either, if I were her. She was basically a sitting duck.
“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Honor said, turning her head to the side to look directly at me. “You’ve already done so much. If it wasn’t for you—”
I held up my hand to halt her words. “Don’t say it,” I replied.
A smile played on her lips and a mischievous little light came into her eyes. “Say what?” she asked innocently. “That you look like you need a shower?”
I glanced down at my rumpled clothes and muddy boots. “So you’re picturing me naked over there?” I quipped. “Here I thought the reason you seemed so anxious was because you wanted out of here.” I sat forward, bringing my face closer to hers. “If you wanted to see me naked, you should have just asked.”
She actually blushed. But even embarrassment wasn’t enough to keep her mouth shut. “Oh please,” she said and rolled her eyes. “Do those corny lines actually work on women?”
I grinned and sat back. “I don’t know.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t know?”
“Nope.”
She pursed her lips. “Do they work on men?”
I laughed out loud.
“What?” She shrugged. “I watch the news. I heard all about how the military lifted the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.” She leaned closer to me like she was telling me a secret. I wanted to grab her face and kiss the shit out of her. “I can legally ask you that now.”
Then she actually wagged her eyebrows at me.
I bit back a smile and leaned forward once again. Our faces were mere inches apart and our lips were lined up for a kiss…
“I’m not gay,” I whispered.
“No judgment here,” she said. “I need a good shopping buddy.”
Honor moved to sit back, but I gently grasped her wrist and pulled her back. “I’m not gay,” I repeated again, my voice even lower, as my mouth hovered oh so close to hers.