She reached between us and picked up the dog tags I always wore but seldom ever noticed. I’d been wearing them for so long it was like they were just another part of my body.
I watched as she brought the twin silver tags up to her lips and press a kiss to each one. She replaced the tags against my chest and then cupped my face once more, this time to kiss my lips and tilt my head down so she could kiss the edge of the scar on my cheek.
Something inside me cracked.
The wall of isolation and despair that I so painstakingly built around my heart fractured and completely tumbled away.
31
Honor
Holy hot mama. I felt like a kid who caught Santa putting presents under the tree on Christmas Eve and realized the jolly man in red was actually real.
Nathan was real. He wasn’t perfect. He was a man who had seen many hardships, a man who faced death and war. He was scarred (inside and out), and he would likely always battle with some sort of inner demons.
It’s what made him so remarkable. There were some people like him that might collapse under the weight of all they carried. But he didn’t. Yeah, I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice there were times he stumbled, but he kept getting up.
I didn’t want a knight in shining armor. Knights with shining armor were posers. Everyone knew that the really good knights were the ones whose armor bore chinks and scratches from a battle they were strong enough to survive.
I was still collapsed across his chest and my body still trembled with the after effects of making love to him, when I heard a little ruff from beside the bed. I smiled and pushed myself off him to peek over the side of the mattress. Lucy wiggled her tail, her entire back end twisting with it.
I laughed and scooped her up to snuggle her against my chest. She licked my face and then wiggled free, climbing on top of Nathan’s exposed chest. He opened his eyes and looked at the puppy and smiled.
Lucy plopped her butt down right in the center off him and looked at him expectantly. A chuckle rumbled from his throat and he reached up to scratch behind her oversized ears. I lay down beside him, scooting close to his side, and rested my cheek against his shoulder.
We lavished attention on Lucy and every so often, Nathan would turn and kiss my forehead. I’d never felt so content in all my life. I felt like I was exactly where I belonged, and I couldn’t be more grateful that Nathan (and Lucy) came into my life.
It seemed silly to feel so much so fast. If this were a book, my reviewers would be screaming “insta-love” all over their reviews. But it didn’t matter what anyone else thought, not really. No one else could tell me what was in my heart. Besides, I wouldn’t be confessing my undying love for him anytime soon. I wasn’t in a hurry for that. I wanted to take my time with Nathan. I wanted to know everything he wanted to share. I wanted to explore his body until I knew every single detail, and then I wanted to start all over again.
“You’re awfully quiet over there,” he said, running a hand up my back. “Where’d you go?”
“I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m still here, with you.”
“No regrets?” he murmured, grazing the very tips of his fingers down the center of my spine.
I pushed up, propping my chin on my forearm and staring into his face. “None.”
Nathan lifted his head off the pillow and brushed his lips over mine gently. But it wasn’t enough and the kiss deepened instantly, our tongues colliding in endless, consuming affection. He felt warm and moist. His lips glided against mine effortlessly, like they knew exactly where to go and how to extract the most pleasure from me with just the right amount of contact. I felt my fingers curl into his chest, and I made a small sound of pleasure. Feeling emboldened, I sucked his lower lip between my teeth and nibbled at it. He gripped my bare butt and shot sparks of electricity throughout my body.
“You better put those teeth away unless you want to start a fire,” he murmured, pulling away.
“Maybe I do,” I purred.
He groaned. “Don’t tempt me. I don’t want to hurt you. Your ribs are probably feeling what we just did. You breathing okay?”
How could I breathe when he left me breathless?
“I’m fine.”
“It’s probably time for your pain meds.”
“Probably,” I agreed, making no move to get out of bed.
“We’re supposed to stay at my place tonight,” he reminded me.
“I don’t wanna get up.”
“I have to work in the morning. My uniform is at my house.”
The thought of seeing him in his uniform gave me a little motivation to get moving. “Fine,” I sighed and sat up. My ribs protested and I bit back a wince.
Nathan made a knowing sound and placed Lucy in my lap. “Stay there,” he instructed.
Lucy rolled onto her back, showing me her rounded belly, and I began scratching her as she wiggled all around.
After Nathan made a quick stop in the bathroom, I heard him out in the kitchen, and a few minutes later, he came back with a glass of water and my pills. He was also carrying a plate full of pie.
I grinned and took my pill as he shoveled the pie into his mouth. “We’re almost out of pie,” he said around a huge bite.
“Heaven forbid.” I gasped and set the water on the nightstand. “I guess I’ll have to go to the store tomorrow and stock up on pie supplies.”
He paused. “What do you do all day long anyway?”
I snorted. “I’m a writer. I write.”
“I don’t like the idea of you being home all day alone all the time.”
“I’m not alone. I have Lucy now.”
He grunted and stuck the fork with a bite of cinnamon-covered apple in my face. I took it and chewed while Lucy climbed up my chest, licking at my lips, trying to get a taste.
“I should go feed her,” I said, getting up and opening the closet doors.
“We’ll head to my place after.”
I pulled on a pair of pink sweatpants with the word Aeropostle down the leg, a white T-shirt, and a grey hoodie. In the bathroom, I ran a brush through my tangled hair and pulled it up into a messy knot on the top of my head. I couldn’t help but notice the way certain parts of my body tingled and how I felt slightly stretched and swollen in my panties.
Just thinking about that made me want him all over again.
Nathan came in the bathroom behind me, his jeans pulled on but still unbuttoned. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his dog tags dangled between his pecs. I turned from the counter and ran my hands up his sides and looped them around his neck. He gave me a quick kiss, then pulled away.
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?”
“Hell yeah, it is.”
I grinned.
Lucy began barking from on top of the bed.
“Easy there, Killer,” Nathan called, and I smacked him in the stomach and went to gather her up.
In the kitchen, I put out plastic bowls of food and fresh water and called Lucy to come eat.
She was standing at the sliders, staring out into the darkness. All the little hair on her back was raised into a line.
“Lucy?” I called, motioning to her food. “Come on, girl.”
She growled, not pulling her attention away from the darkness. A little tingle of fear traveled down my neck. I peered out where she was watching and, of course, saw nothing but darkness.
Lucy growled again and then started barking her head off. For such a little puppy, her growl was surprisingly aggressive.
This creepy feeling of dread washed over me and images of being attacked and thrown into the hole assaulted me. I did my best to push them away, not wanting to scare myself more. Suddenly, Lucy fell quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief and squatted down beside her food again and called her over.