• You describe anyone who has ever lived within a two-kilometer radius of you as “my brother”
• You go home and wonder where all the white people came from
• You start reading comic books instead of real books
• You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for the bus
• You understand when your Thai wife says, “My friend you” or “Same same different”
• When asked to name your favorite Thai restaurant, you say KFC
• You start to find western women attractive again
• You realize that you frankly never have a clue what’s really going on
• You have a silly grin on your face
The Farangs
Many Thais blame the Caucasian interloper for much of what’s wrong with Thailand. Unfairly, the American financier George Soros was charged with pushing Thailand’s and then much of the rest of Asia’s economy to its knees in 1997 when he began speculating on the value of the Thai baht. He previously had “broken” the Bank of England with his crafty foreign exchange transactions, so there was reason to suspect he’d had a similar effect on the collapsing value of the Thai currency, but to overlook other factors endemic in Thailand—such as corruption and greed—was to make Mr. Soros a convenient scapegoat.
Other critics say Thailand wouldn’t have the sex industry that gives the country such an unsavory international reputation if it weren’t for American military men here during the war in Vietnam—ignoring the fact that prostitution existed in Thailand for centuries before the first farang sailed up the Chao Phrya River, and that today the industry is controlled almost exclusively by Thais, with Thais contributing the largest customer base, virtually all of the sex workers, ownership and management of venues, as well as the cops who are responsible, for reasons of their own, for the lax enforcement of laws against the trade.
Some pundits get personal, and none more harshly than Mont Redmond, himself a farang, describing in his book, Wondering into Thai Culture (1998), the first Europeans as “big-bodied adventurers from thimble-sized countries, odd in color and custom, and unaccountably fierce or friendly at unimaginable distances from their native land… meddlesome creature(s), inclined to excess in everything but good manners and humility.” His rant continued, but that’s enough to give you a feel for how he felt about his fellow round-eyes. Not that his view was entirely indefensible.
Of course, there are many who praise the farang, if not in words then in deed, most often in the form of flattery inherent in the speed with which much of farang culture and conveniences have been welcomed, copied, adapted and merchandized. Many have written of the West’s influence on the East and I don’t think I have anything new to say, except that I find it somewhat amusing when some of the Thais who are most outspoken in criticizing farangs are the ones who: drive a Mercedes-Benz or a BMW; educate their kids in England, the United States or Australia; fill up their closets with Italian shirts; worship golf to the point of naming some of their children after the game; bet on European football teams; and wouldn’t be caught dead drinking anything but expensive French wines and Johnny Walker Black. And you ought to see the Thai Buddhists during the Christmas season; I thought Americans knew how to shop!
There’s nothing new about this. The first Thai head of state to travel outside the region, Rama V (Chulalongkorn) visited Europe in 1897 and returned wearing a top hat and tails. He brought back Waterford crystal from Ireland, Severes porcelain and Baccarat goblets from France, Italian Murano glass, Royal Crown Derby plates from England, and introduced Western architecture to Thailand.
Which is not to be construed as negative comment on my part, so long as the preference for Western things and ways is genuine and unaccompanied by slurs against their origins. Like many farangs living in the Thailand, I’ve crossed over, too. I have a Thai family and a house upcountry, most of my diet is Thai (even including insects), I drink Chang beer and have a respectable library of books about Thailand, assembled in a so-far futile attempt to understand the country and culture that I choose to call mine for however long the Department of Immigration renews my annual visa.
I’m also trying to understand my peers and have pushed them into what I hope will become, for the reader, helpful groups:
1. Tourists from Europe, the Americas and what the TAT calls “Oceania,” meaning Australia and New Zealand, comprise what probably is the most visable alliance or class, although their representation in the total visitor numbers is small. In 2001, only twenty five percent of those who presented their passports on entering the Land of Smiles were from Europe, under seven percent were from North and South America, just over four percent from Oceania. More than fifty seven percent, on the other hand, came from East Asia. Maybe all those Japanese, Taiwanese, and Koreans blended in more easily. Or, as Mont Redmond noted, they were not so tall or loud and thus not so noticeable. And probably the male of the Asian species wore slacks and a nice shirt, instead of a tank top with a lewd slogan, baggy shorts, running shoes, a baseball cap, and a belly pack belted over a barrel of flesh. I shudder when I see such creatures. In any case, the word farang usually is applied only to Caucasians. In 2001, they totaled a third of the country’s ten million visitors. That’s about ten thousand new farangs a day, enough to give one pause. [See “Tourism,” page 197.]
2. Businessmen may comprise the next largest group of farangs in Thailand. These are the investors and minority partners in many Thai companies that probably wouldn’t exist if the foreigners didn’t want to invest. Many are two-year “package” businessmen given a salary far larger than his or her Thai partner, a cushy housing allowance, a car and a driver, and private school tuition for the kids. When I moved to Thailand, my prospective landlady asked what sort of “package” I had. I said I was self-unemployed. The rent fell twenty five percent.
Many of the package men, and their wives—who are banned from taking jobs for pay and thus turn to charitable work and, often, alcohol—rarely exit their Western bubble while here. Aside from the reserved and polite Thais in their offices, their only regular contact with the local population may be limited to household help, their drivers, merchants in the neighborhood, and, dare I say it, bar girls. Many marriages don’t survive the stress attached to the latter.
Leisure activity frequently is planned for these farangs, by the American Chamber of Commerce or the more socially inclined embassies, most notably those from Australia and the U.K., and for the wives various women’s clubs. Some join local rugby teams and participate in other contests where a majority are expats, too. For those from the U.K., there are plenty of Irish and British pubs. For all there are numerous jazz and blues venues. Most of their holiday hotels are run by Germans and Swiss. The hyper-markets are owned by the Europeans, too, and there are hundreds of McDonald’s, 7-Elevens, Dunkin’ Donuts, Starbucks, KFCs and Pizza Huts.
In Thailand, because numerous jobs are proscribed for foreigners, non-Thai lawyers, accountants, architects and other professionals work as “consultants,” a line on the subsequent resume that the job-holder may have trouble explaining in the next job interview back home. No matter. When the interviewer sees the word “Bangkok,” the two-year hole in the guy’s career will be forgiven with a knowing wink and a question about the Thai women.