“Can you not divide these cares by trusting them to your faithful associates?” Thais asked.
“I believed at first that I was surrounded by the worthiest men, that together we formed the top of a spear capable of penetrating anything. For the first time, the Spartan stamina became a standard for tens of thousands of my soldiers. The honor of that accomplishment goes to my father, Philip. He was the one who gathered and trained an army of such courage and endurance that the quality of individual warriors had approached that of the Lacedemonians. With these select thirty-five thousand, I deflected and crushed a force far greater in number but worse in the quality of people. All went well while our goal was shared, the enemy was powerful, and we were not burdened by the colossal war loot. Unity wears off, as does physical strength. Like rust eats through iron, the flattery of one’s associates, the crowds of loose women and merchants, priests and philosophers, relatives and false friends eat through the purity of heart and self-restraint.
“Those people who are harder than an eagle’s talon and were not worn out during the ten years of war and rule in the conquered countries, are few. Only a handful in the entire Great Empire. And I am losing them one after another as I lost the incomparable hero Hephaestion. I became enemies with some, sometimes for a good reason as they did not understand me, and sometimes unjustly, as I did not understand them. But the worst thing was the further we went, the greater became the difference in our goals. I could no longer think of homonoya, the equality between all people, as I could not find it among my closest friends and associates. The main poison in the hearts of all people is the idiotic arrogance of origin, tribe and religion. I am helpless to fight it. Such is the end of the Asian campaign. I, the ruler of half the world, wash my hands of it, feeling like a traveler at the beginning of his path. You are right. I would have been happier walking alone as a free traveler in tattered clothes, relying on the mercy of gods and that of any armed passerby.”
Thais pulled the Macedonian’s lion-like head to her, caressing it gently, like a mother. She could hear his anxious breathing as it screeched through his arrow-punctured lung. His powerful arms, once divinely calm and still, shook with a nervous shudder.
“Do you want to be my queen?” Alexander asked. He straightened and asked with his usual abruptness.
Thais was startled. “One of the wives of the king of kings? No!”
“You wish to be the first among all or the only one,” the Macedonian said, chuckling unkindly.
“You always misunderstand me, my king,” Thais replied calmly. “And you will not understand me until we are together forever. I do not need to be either exceptional or free of competition. But I must have the right to protect you, sometimes against your immediate desires or the will of your friends and associates. Otherwise you cannot rely on me at a difficult time of betrayal or sickness.”
“Then you want …”
“I want nothing. I am simply explaining. Too late. These things ought to have been discussed much sooner.”
“I am still young. Nothing is too late for me.”
“Need I tell you, ruler of people, that a true queen cannot be appointed or confined to your bed. The efforts of both are required here so that others may see and feel it. Many years are needed to become a queen and you don’t even have a year at your disposal.”
“Yes. I am sailing with Nearchus to seek the route to Ethiopia. Ninety ships are ready and being loaded at the docks of Babylon and the Euphrates Alexandria.”
“Will you take me to the ocean with you? Not as a queen, just as a companion?”
Alexander replied glumly after a pause. “No. The paths of war are uncertain and the demands of the tumultuous shores of the waterless deserts are great. You are precious. Wait for me in Babylon.”
“As Ptolemy’s wife?”
“I shall appoint Ptolemy chiliarchus to replace Hephaestion. He shall rule the empire in my absence.”
Thais stood up, gazing at the king tenderly, sadness in her eyes. Alexander rose too. The awkward silence was broken by the approaching hoofbeats of a galloping horse. A rider from Persian nobility, the new getaerosi, lifted a rolled letter above his head. Alexander made a permissive gesture and the messenger dismounted and approached, holding the scroll in front of his lowered face.
“Forgive me. I’ll read this.” the king said, unrolling the vellum. Thais noticed a few lines written in a bold script.
Alexander turned to Thais with a crooked smile. “I must hurry back to Babylon. Nearchus has returned from his research mission to
Arabia and we can set sail. Seleucus approaches with a large caravan of elephants and Peucestus is bringing young soldiers from Ariana.”
Thais whistled through her teeth like an Athenian boy. Boanergos raised his head, perked his ears and trotted to his mistress after a repeated command. Alexander gestured to his Scythian groom.
“Before we part, explain to me, King,” the Athenian said, taking the pacer’s reins. “Explain the meaning of your gift which was brought to me by Hephaestion.”
“It was my dream at Nyssa, where I saw the ivy and the Cretan bulls. You know the army of Dionysus consisted only of maenadae. I dreamed of you as a maenadae, nude and powerfully alluring, wrapped in ivy. The glittering scepter of Dionysus pointed at you. I ordered a sculptor from Susa to make an image of you as a maenadae from my dream and my memory.”
“I thank you for it with all of my heart, as well as for the house at Lugalgira.”
Thais boldly wrapped her arms around the king’s neck and froze in his arms for a moment. Then she paled, pulled away and mounted the pacer. Alexander took a step toward her, holding out his hand and seemed to stumble against her firm gaze.
“Destiny and I gave you a chance thrice. First in Memphis, then at the Euphrates and the third time in Persepolis. Fate does not offer favors four times and neither do I. Geliaine, great king, ton eona. Forever, as Plato said.”
Thais urged the pacer forward, her head lowered. Large tears rolled from under her long eyelashes and fell onto the horse’s black mane. Alexander rode next to her, very quiet. One stadium behind them, the king’s guards rode in the cloud of dust. Alexander lowered his bare head, his broad shoulders sagged and his arm hung limply. Thais had never seen the divine victor look that way. He was the image of a man who had exhausted his strength and had no hope. Even Cleophrades looked stronger and tougher during his last Keoss feast. What would happen when Alexander returned to the matters of the great empire in Babylon?
“In the name of Aphrodite and everything that draws us to each other, Alexander, my king, leave Babylon immediately. Do not linger another day. Swear it,” she said. She took his hand and squeezed it firmly.
Alexander looked into her huge gray eyes and replied tenderly and sincerely. “I swear by the Styx, my Ayphra, my luminous one.”
Thais hit Boanergos with her heels and he quickly passed the king and his slow-riding guard. The Athenian flew through the gates of Ecbatana like the wind, galloped down the streets to the house. There she tossed the reins to a servant, ran across the garden to Eris’ gazebo, and locked herself in till evening.
Two months later, during the last days of Targelion, the news of Alexander’s sudden death crashed like a mountain rockfall.
In less than ten days, a messenger brought Thais two letters at once. One was from Ptolemy and the other from Hesiona. The Theban described in detail the king’s last two days of life. Impossibly fatigued, he gathered his officers to distribute the ships. Together with Nearchus he gave instructions, attempting to comprehend every detail of preparation of the giant fleet.
Tortured by insomnia, he went swimming in the Euphrates at night. Eventually, the king became feverish and left his usual residence in the palace of Nebuchadnezzar, moving instead to his house with a shaded pool in the New City. He did not wish to see anyone except Nearchus. He swam as he was burning up, but the fever became worse. He still could not sleep.