I thought back to when we were doing the guest list. Mrs. Mac asked me a question about our plans, and I sort of shut her down and told her that we'd tell her when we figured it out. Like she was just a guest. I realized that Phillip's mom has probably been both dreaming about and dreading the day her precious son will get married. She's inviting her friends, and I'm sure she has something pictured in her mind about how it should be.
So now that Phillip and I have a lot of the basics planned out, I've decided to ask the other important people in my life what they'd like to see happen at the wedding, or their dream way of having it.
Who knows, they may have some amazing ideas.
This morning, I met Phillip's mom at the Diamond's for Mrs. D's wonderful cinnamon coffee cake.
I took my idea board and inspiration powerpoint. I told them about all the food Phillip and I picked out, about the rooftop ballroom, and how I wanted it to be romantic. I also told them that Phillip has had about all the wedding planning he can take. He wanted a say in the things that were important to him, like food and alcohol, but the rest is just fluff to him. I invited them to come to Kansas City with me on Thursday to meet the wedding planner and help me with the rest of the decor details. I still have to pick the flowers, the cake design, and finalize all the reception decor. They were especially thrilled when I set a stack of bridal magazines in front of them and told them to go crazy.
After that, I go in the study to talk to Mr. D.
I ask for his opinion. Ask if there's anything he'd like to see happen at the wedding.
He thinks about it for a minute. "I know alcohol is one of the most expensive parts of a wedding, but it would be nice if there was a secret stash of good scotch for us old guys to enjoy. I'd also love to smoke a cigar in your dad's honor."
Phillip had mentioned that a scotch and cigar bar would be so cool. Plus, I'm getting him an engraved humidor as his wedding gift, so it would be perfect.
And then it hits me. I never asked Mr. Diamond to walk me down the aisle. I was gonna ask him the night he told me he was holding my wedding money hostage. I've been a little mad at him since, honestly.
But I look at him. The man who's helped me though every major crisis, from financial to what to major in. Who has gently guided me down the path to adulthood. Who has done way more than I'm sure my parents ever imagined he would when they named him executor of my trust. He treats me like his daughter. And he wants to toast my dad at my wedding?
He sees that my eyes are filling up with tears and says, "Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you. I know it's very hard on you not having him here. Maybe it's a bad idea."
"You didn't upset me. I think it's a wonderful idea. I got tears in my eyes because I have a big favor to ask you, and it seems like I all I ever do is ask you for favors."
"Don't be silly," he says. "I loved your parents, and you know you're like a daughter to me. I'll always do anything in my power to help you in whatever way you need."
I smile at him through crocodile tears. "So does that mean you'd consider walking me down the aisle? Standing in for my dad?"
He sits there for a minute, which I have to say I appreciate. He understands the gravity of this to me. He's even a little choked up when he replies, "I'd be extremely honored."
Phillip walks in the door with beer under his arm and a magazine in his hand. "Look, I found a wedding magazine we haven't looked at yet! This one looks cool too. It has spreads on real weddings."
We sit at the kitchen table, drink a beer, and flip through the pages. We're halfway through when Phillip stumbles upon an idea that hits his hot button.
"Look at this!! They had custom Nikes made as gifts for the groomsmen! Look, they put their names and the wedding date on the shoes too. That is THE coolest wedding thing I have ever seen! I'm doing them. We'll do black shoes with a dark purple swoosh!"
Phillip is really excited, and I don't want to like burst his bubble or anything, but tennis shoes at a formal wedding? With tuxedos?
Um, no.
No freaking way.
"Uh, Phillip, our wedding is formal. I don't think you can wear Nikes."
He raises his eyebrows and gives me a little smirk. "It's my wedding. I can do whatever I want. Plus, you got purple shoes. You showed me them."
"Phillip, I got purple satin Badgley Mischka heels with crystal detailing. They aren't black leather Nike tennis shoes. I don't know about this, Phillip. I'd need some convincing."
He looks at me for a beat then strips off his shirt.
Which totally make me laugh. "That's not the kind of convincing I meant, Phillip. Look at these pictures. Their wedding was outside, and they're wearing khakis. It was very informal."
"I don't care. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging me to wear these shoes."
I'll admit, Phillip with no shirt is already pretty convincing, but I say, "I see you shirtless every day. I don't think that's gonna do it."
He picks me up and moves me to the couch. Takes off my sweater. Kisses my entire upper half.
Every. single. inch.
My collar bone, down my arms, my neck, my chest, my stomach. When he gets to my stomach, I'm about to tell him he can have whatever he wants, please just take off my skirt.
He takes off my shoes instead. He gently massages my feet, kisses up my legs, and then finally pulls off my skirt.
And he's right.
I'm pretty sure I'll be letting him wear whatever shoes he wants.
When I watched the show My Fair Wedding, the thing that struck me most about the episodes was not how beautifully the weddings turned out. What struck me was how you watched each bride grow up in front of your eyes. The process seemed to give them all a kind of bridal confidence, and I feel like I've sorta gotten my own bridal confidence. At first, I was just plain freaked out by the whole thing. When I first started planning, I wanted total and complete control. Then I realized I couldn't do it by myself, but I still held tight, only allowing Phillip, Lori, and Amy into my wedding planning world.
Now that I've given up control, I realize that you can't do it yourself, and you shouldn't try.
Mrs. D said something on the drive down about how happy she is to be helping because she didn't get to help plan any of Danny's wedding. So needless to say, both her and Mrs. Mac are brimming with excitement. When I watch them hug Amy, their new best friend, I think I just grew up a little more. I don't have my parents here, but I do have some very special people in my life.
And I'm gonna start celebrating that.
They had some great ideas that we incorporated into the wedding plans. We planned out the weekend's events, starting with a welcome basket in each room and ending with a farewell brunch on Sunday. Mrs. Mac had great ideas about what to put in the baskets. My only real contribution was that I wanted some chocolate included.
Big surprise.
And Mrs. D hit it out of the park. She recommended having chilled buckets of beer waiting for the guests upon check in.
I'm pretty sure our friends are gonna go crazy over that type of welcome.
We got to play around with place settings and decided on deep purple glass chargers, deep purple water goblets, clear champagne glasses with silver trim, white dinner plates, and an adorable multicolored salad plate. On top of all that is an icy purple napkin. When Amy handed me a princess crown napkin ring that was Phillip's idea, I almost cried.