"Phillip?! YOUR MOTHER'S ISLAND? AND you used to have naughty dreams about me?"
"Oh, yeah. Lots of them. Good ones."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. They would start off with us doing stuff we'd normally do. I never really remembered those parts, but you'd end up attacking me. Like one time, we were sitting on the hood of my car looking at the stars. All of a sudden, you straddled me and attacked me. It was a good dream."
Last night, I laughed and smiled about Phillip's dreams, but now that I'm at work, trying to focus on pulling some figures together for a budget meeting I'm about to go into, my mind is still thinking about it.
Because it's sorta bugging me.
I mean, shouldn't he have attacked me in his dreams? Shouldn't that have been his dream?
I'm about to have a little freak out in my mind when my cell vibrates.
Apparently, Phillip has shared our wedding theme with Danny because I receive a random text.
Danny :) Grooms cake = strippers jumping out!
Oh, wow. That's funny!
Me: Groomsmen dress like Chippendales. Meaning a tuxedo with no shirt for you!
Danny :) Gonna have to work on the abs some more.
Me: Yeah right, what are we up to now, an eight pack?
Danny :) Gotta keep the core strong, baby ;)
Me: Gotta meeting, gotta go.
I go to my project meeting. During the meeting, I keep getting texts from Danny. Nobody notices this except the guy who's sitting next to me and is kinda a creeper. He always makes slightly sexual comments to me. He's never crossed the line really. He just kinda creeps me out. I can tell he's reading my texts because he just almost burst out with a laugh. He tried to hold it in, which caused him to snort coffee up his nose and have a mini choking fit.
10:08
Danny :) Bridesmaids = sexy school girls.
11:22
Danny :) Bridesmaids all dressed in different sexy outfits.
11:23
Danny :) One a sexy school girl, one a French maid.
11:47
Danny :) Reception = All couples swinging, provide masks for anonymity.
11:49
Danny :) Whips and chains for party favors?
It's very difficult for me to concentrate during the meeting, and every time I see my phone light up, I sneak a peek and want to die laughing. Finally, we break for lunch, and although Danny's texts have been entertaining, my mind is still on Phillip's dreams.
I go out to my car and call Lori.
I need to talk about this and probably shouldn't do it at my desk, where everyone can hear about my sex life.
Especially the creeper.
As we were walking out of the meeting, he said, "Sounds like you have some fun when you're not at work, and hmmm, I thought your fiancee's name was Phillip. You're a naughty girl, aren't you?"
And I tried hard not to gag in front of him.
Lori answers, and I'm like, "Phillip told me he used to have naughty dreams about me." I didn't even say hello.
But she goes with it. "And that surprises you?"
"Well yeah, actually, it did, or I wouldn't be calling you about it."
"Oh, Jade. What am I going to do with you? You're so oblivious."
"Hey, don't judge! I need help and advice, and I called you, but never mind."
"Oh!! You called ME to ask for ADVICE?! You never do that! You always call Danny."
"I know, so help me!!"
She makes a little noise that lets me know she's quite proud of this. "Oh well, continue."
"Okay, so in Phillip's dreams, I attacked him. So does that mean his subconscious thought I was hot for him and wanted to attack him, or does it mean his subconscious was hot for me and wished I would attack him, so in the dreams I did? Like if he was hot for me, why didn't he attack me in the dreams?"
"Does it really matter? He wanted you. He's always wanted you, and now you have him."
"It kinda matters to me."
Lori sighs. "Jade, for a girl that barely gives anything she says or does a second thought, oh my gosh, you way over process everything in your mind when it comes to Phillip. Why don't you put that brain to better use and start planning your wedding?"
"One, I like the boy. And two, I am working on the wedding."
"Really?!"
"Well, sorta. We watched that show you told us about, but we also drank a whole bottle of wine, and then Phillip kinda attacked me. Lori, he's so freaking sexy. And the sex, oh my gosh, the sex is so...."
"Jade, I thought you wanted my advice." She is not impressed.
"I do."
"But you're not gonna take it, right?"
"Well, I'm not going to forget about this, if that's what you mean. I can't!"
"Why does it matter?"
"I'm trying to determine why I attacked him in the dreams because I have a wild idea."
"Wow, now I'm really impressed you're asking ME for advice. Aren't wild ideas like Danny's specialty?"
"Yes, they are, but I called you because I'm thinking about making those dreams come true."
This sinks in, and she says, "Oh my! As in act them out? Oh, Jade, he'll like that!"
"Well, I hope so, but if I don't understand the dream, it won't be right."
"Hmmmm, hang on. I'm gonna get Danny and put you on speaker. I actually might be in over my head on this one. We need a boy's opinion."
I knew I should've just called him in the first place, but I'm happy I called Lori first because she seems so happy about it.
I hear Danny's deep voice go, "What's up, girls?"
And I'm like, "So last night, Phillip told me that he used to have naughty dreams about me."
Danny says, "So? Big deal. We both did."
"You did!!??" I say.
"Well, a couple, sure. I mean we were together all the time."
"Danny! Did you dream about me or lots of girls?"
"Well, duh, lots of girls."
"Crap. Now I'm depressed. Phillip probably did too."
Lori chimes in and explains to Danny, "Phillip told her he used to have naughty dreams about her, and I think for some reason, that reason being she's oblivious, she was surprised by this."
Danny says, "Jaybaby, pretty much all Phillip's dreams were about you."
"He told you about them?" Lori and I say at the same time.
"Well yeah, some of them. We've always talked about everything. You know that."
"Dang, I thought you guys told me everything too. Now, I'm sad."
"Don't be. In high school, our dreams were certainly more exciting than what we were actually doing."
"Danny, you did plenty of doing in high school."
"Not really. Think about high school sex. It was do it quick, don't get caught, pray her parents don't come home early, pray she doesn't get pregnant. Not exactly dream worthy."
"I think Jade was considering trying to fulfill some of Phillip's dreams," Lori says.
"Like his fantasies? Wow, lucky guy. He'll definitely like that."