“Gen,” I said, my voice higher and more strained than normal, but she didn’t seem to hear me.
“Shiloh was a healthy young guy whose wife was out of town. He went looking for some strange pussy and found the wrong woman. She stabbed him or shot him and got help getting rid of the body.”
“Fine,” I said, forcing my voice back into its normal low register. “You’re welcome to your theories. But at least come back to the Cities with me and try to prove them. Will you do that much?”
When she didn’t speak right away, I thought I’d won.
Then she said, “Back when I was a cop-”
“You’re still a cop,” I said.
She ignored me. “Back then, I assumed I was jaded. Just because of what I did for a living,” Genevieve said reflectively. “But the world is a much worse place than I ever imagined.” She paused. “I don’t really think I want to know what’s happened to Shiloh.”
Silence fell in the darkening kitchen and I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Well,” I said finally. “Thanks for the coffee.” I picked up my jacket.
At last I’d startled her. “You’re staying, aren’t you?” she said. The chair scraped as she got up to follow me.
“I can’t,” I said. “I’ve got things to do.”
“You’re going to drive back to the Cities? Now?”
“It’s not late,” I said at the front door. “You can always come with me. That’s what I intended.”
She followed me onto the porch. At the bottom of the steps I turned back. I was looking up at her. It was a rare circumstance, given the difference in our heights.
“Help me, Gen. Help me find him. I’ve gotten as far as I can on my own.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
I walked three steps toward my car and then turned around again.
“If this was Kamareia,” I said, “I’d never stop helping you look for her.”
I expected anger, expected her to accuse me of cheap tactics in drawing her daughter’s memory into the argument. But instead she said “I’m sorry” again. The terrible thing was, I could hear genuine regret in her voice.
The mud in the yard sucked at my boots like it wanted to keep me there. The Nova slung a few pounds of it at the apple tree in the yard before finding purchase and rocketing toward the road.
chapter 12
I knew what came next: Utah. If you don’t know where someone is, look into where they’ve been. It’s a truism in Missing Persons, although police rarely have the luxury of following up on it. But I was working for no one but myself, and I was going to Utah.
Shiloh had grown up in Ogden, north of Salt Lake City, in the middle of a pack of six children. He’d left home young. His parents had since died, and he didn’t keep in touch with any of his brothers and sisters except for an annual Christmas card with his youngest sister, Naomi. With his older brothers, and Naomi’s twin sister, Bethany, he didn’t even have that much contact. Of course, I’d asked him why.
“Religion,” he’d said simply. “To them I’m like somebody chronically ill who refuses treatment. I can’t live around that.”
“I know a couple of people who were raised in strict Christian homes-Catholic or Mormon-and aren’t religious anymore. Their families deal with it okay,” I’d pointed out.
“Some families do,” Shiloh had said.
He’d left home at 17, before finishing high school, and of course I’d asked him about that, too.
“It was logical at the time,” he’d said. “I knew I wanted a different life than the one I was headed for, and I knew it wasn’t going to happen if I stayed there.”
Years after he’d left Utah, his family, and their faith, he’d gotten a letter from his younger sister Naomi. Shiloh had answered it, and they’d kept writing to each other for, as he told me, “a couple of months before things cooled off.”
“Why’d you stop writing?” I’d asked Shiloh.
“She was starting to look at me as a project,” Shiloh had said. “I could tell she was working toward getting me to come home. A reconciliation first with my family, then with God.”
It seemed Shiloh had succeeded in introducing a touch of frost into their relationship, because since then they’d only exchanged Christmas cards.
Back at home in Minneapolis, it took me several minutes of sorting through the box of addresses on torn scratch paper before I found the one I needed. Naomi and Robert Wilson. The address was in Salt Lake City, and I felt certain they’d be listed in directory assistance.
There was no reason to believe Shiloh had been in contact with any of his family lately, but I needed to check it out. The ground I’d covered here, at any rate, had been stony to start with, and wasn’t going to get any more fertile. And if there were no fresh leads in Utah to help me find Shiloh, there might be old ones that would help me understand him better.
Over a dinner of shredded wheat, I collected “Robert Wilson” or “R. Wilson” numbers for the Salt Lake City area and began making the calls.
“Hello?”
A young woman answered at the second number I tried. She sounded the right age.
“Is this Naomi Wilson?” I asked.
“Speaking,” she said politely.
“Naomi, this is Sarah Shiloh.” I paused for a second to think how to proceed.
“Who?” she said. “Did you say your name was Sarah Shiloh?”
“Right,” I said. “Your brother Michael is my husband.”
“Michael? You’re Mike’s wife? Ohh!” she said, and laughed, sounding flustered. “Let’s start over. Yes, this is Naomi Wilson, you’ve reached me.” She laughed again. “You confused me because… well, never mind. Listen, can I talk to Mike? We haven’t spoken in a long, long time.”
Something in my chest felt a little colder, leaden, at her words.
“I wish you could,” I said. “I’m looking for him. Nobody, me included, has seen him in several days.”
There was a brief silence on the line, then Naomi Wilson said, “What are you saying?”
“Your brother is missing,” I said. “That’s why I’m calling.”
“My goodness,” she said. The words seemed inadequate, but belatedly I realized that of course a good Christian wouldn’t say Oh, Christ. But Naomi’s voice was somber as she said, “Where are you, in Minneapolis? Is that where he still lives?”
“That’s where we live. But he was supposed to go to Virginia, and he never got there,” I told her.
“He’s missing? And you think he’s out here? He’s not here,” she said, answering her own question. Then she corrected herself. “Well, not that I know of. But is that what you think, that he’s somewhere out West?”
“I don’t know. I need to come out and talk to you in person, maybe the rest of your family also.”
“All right,” she said. “When are you coming?”
“Tomorrow,” I said. “A morning flight. With the time difference I’m pretty sure I could be there by midmorning. What time is good for you?”
“I work at a day-care center,” Naomi said. “There are two of us there until noon, then I’m on my own until three-thirty. If you can come anytime in the morning, I can get away to talk. I’m going to have a few questions for you, too-about Mike, and how the two of you met and so on. It’s been a long time since I actually spoke to him.”
She gave me the address of her preschool and day-care center on the outskirts of Salt Lake City. Then she added, “You’ll recognize me right away. I look like I’m ten months’ pregnant.”
I called Northwest and made the arrangements with my credit card, then packed. Shiloh’s valise was on the floor, right where I’d left it after I’d pulled it out from under the bed and realized what finding it meant. As an afterthought to my packing, I retrieved Shiloh’s old Search and Rescue T-shirt from the suitcase and threw it into my bag.
A freight train rumbled northward on the other side of the bedroom wall. I was sitting on the bedroom floor, cross-legged. I needed sleep but had reached that state where the effort of just getting undressed and brushing your teeth seems like a very sizable obstacle between yourself and your bed.