Instead of sitting at the bar as well, I’d taken a table against the wall, giving that man his privacy. Despite that, we kept looking at each other. Accidentally, it seemed. The TV turned a blank green face down at the bar, and there was no one else around, and it seemed like we didn’t really know where to put our eyes except on each other. Maybe we sensed in each other an equality of misery.
The man leaned forward and spoke to the bartender. She mixed up another whiskey and water like mine, more vodka for him. He paid and carried both drinks over to my table.
He was kind of good-looking; maybe a little too lean. I would have described his face as Eurasian, or maybe Siberian. His eyes had just a bit of slant to them, like the eyes of a lynx.
“I don’t want to intrude, but that dress looks like a funeral to me,” he’d said.
We introduced ourselves without last names. I was Sarah, just back from a family funeral; he was Mike, recently out of a “very brief, very wrong” affair. We didn’t expand on those circumstances. We didn’t talk about what we did for a living. Within twenty minutes he’d asked me how I was getting home.
He drove me to my place, a cheap studio in Seven Corners. Inside, I left my sober black funeral dress and stockings on the floor with his weather-beaten clothes and work boots.
These were my careless days, and I hadn’t been a stranger to the one-night stand. I always awoke just enough to hear the men get up to leave, but never opened my eyes, always feeling a sneaking, sorry sense of gratitude that they wouldn’t be there in the morning.
This one seemed to dematerialize from my bed; I never heard a thing. I would have felt my usual relief, but for one memory.
At the airport, we’d walked in silence to the short-term parking and he’d led me to his car, an old green Catalina.
“This is nice,” I’d said. “It’s got character.”
He didn’t say anything, and I turned around to look. He’d stopped and leaned up against a concrete pillar. His eyes were closed, his face lifted into the wind that came off the airfield, frigid January air scented with aviation fuel.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Nope,” he’d said, his eyes still closed. “Just sobering up, so I don’t cash in our chips on the 494.”
I’d crossed to where he was, looking out at a Northwest plane climbing an invisible ramp of air into the night sky. And then I’d said something I didn’t even remember thinking first.
“I’ve outlived my whole family,” I said.
“God, I wish I had,” he said, and I was just drunk enough that it made me laugh, a surprised, giddy sound. He opened his eyes to look at me, and then he pulled me into his arms and held me, hard, his beard scratching my cheek.
It should have been all wrong in the etiquette of a one-night stand, way too intimate for the rules of hooking up without intimacy. But it didn’t bother me. It didn’t even surprise me. It eased a tight feeling in my chest that even Seagram’s hadn’t touched.
Genevieve and I worked out together, as was our custom, later that week. On this occasion our trip to the weight room was interrupted. We were walking near the basketball courts when a voice rang out.
“Hey, Brown!”
Genevieve stopped and turned, and I followed her example.
The man who’d yelled stood on the free-throw line, flanked by three other men, all younger than him. “Why don’t you introduce us to your friend!” he called.
“Those are all narcotics guys for the city-county task force,” Genevieve said, “except the really tall guy. That’s Kilander, a county prosecutor.”
She raised her voice. “You mean my very tall friend?” she yelled back. Then, to me again, “You want to meet them? They’re probably recruiting for some kind of team.”
Clearly, I saw, she was friendly with their ringleader, Radich, who up close resolved into a Mediterranean-looking man of Gen’s age with a rough-edged face and tired-looking dark eyes. Kilander was about six-five, with blond hair and blue eyes, polished and sincere-looking like an ex-farm boy turned news anchor. The other two were a lithe mid-height black man of my age, Hadley, and an ex-military-looking Scandinavian with a painfully short buzz cut and flat blue eyes, Nelson.
“This is Sarah Pribek. She’s a patrolwoman,” Genevieve said. “And more important, a state champion point guard in her high school days.”
The men exchanged smiles.
“So,” Genevieve continued, “why don’t you consider me her agent in negotiations for whatever crappy interagency team you’re putting together?”
“Putting together?” Radich said innocently. “We need some-one right now, to sub in. Nelson’s leaving. And you can play, too, naturally, Detective Brown.”
“Naturally my ass,” Gen said.
“Wait,” I interjected. “One guy’s leaving and two of us sub in?”
“I count as half a person or something,” Genevieve explained.
“No,” Radich said. “We were already playing three-on-two. Where the hell is Shiloh?”
“I’m here,” a new voice said.
Watching Genevieve joust with Radich, I didn’t even see him approach, returning from somewhere on the sidelines. I turned to look at the newcomer, and my throat worked involuntarily.
There wasn’t even a ripple of surprise in those lynx eyes, but I knew he recognized me. He was clean-shaven this day. I wanted to take my eyes away from his face and couldn’t.
Radich carried on with introductions. “Mike Shiloh, Narcotics, this is Genevieve Brown from the Investigations Division-”
“I know Genevieve.”
“-and Sarah Pribek, Patrol.”
“Hey,” he said.
“They’re going to play with us for a little while. Kilander got first pick last time, so you call it this time. Brown or Pribek.”
Genevieve looked at me and rolled her eyes at the foregone conclusion.
Shiloh’s gaze passed over both of us, then he looked at Genevieve and jerked his head in the direction of his teammate, Hadley. “Come here, Brown,” he said.
“Mike!” Hadley sounded disgusted. Radich flashed a mildly surprised look at Genevieve, who lifted both shoulders in a search-me fashion.
In all the confusion, I hoped nobody saw the shock of the insult register on my face. Kilander, the prosecutor, was the only unperturbed one; he flashed me a smile as though we had a great and sexy secret.
So that was how it stacked up. Genevieve darted gamely among us, with slow-footed Radich guarding her. Hadley did a pretty good job of covering Kilander, his speed counterbalancing Kilander’s height and skill. But really the game was all Shiloh and me.
He was very good, I had to admit, pressing me on my weak low-post moves, not letting me get out where I could sink my three-pointers. I managed, though, to keep his scoring down. Our teams were tied for much of the game. Shiloh crowded me, but was careful not to foul me. Finally my temper snapped and I body-slammed him.
Shiloh marked this victory by not commenting on my loss of control as he stood and accepted the ball from Hadley. Genevieve, though, as we all moved aside to let Shiloh take his free throws, hissed gleefully in my ear: “You just cost your team the game.” She was teasing, but I was annoyed with myself.
“Maybe he’ll miss.”
“He doesn’t miss,” Genevieve whispered back.
Shiloh accepted the ball from Radich, bounced it in the judicious, time-killing way of basketball players everywhere, shot, and whanged it off the rim.
I laughed in relief that my teammates took for triumph. Shiloh ignored me. It didn’t matter in the end. His team ended up winning the game by a narrow margin.
As Genevieve was saying goodbye to Radich, Shiloh turned to me from about six feet away, stopping in the middle of following Hadley off the court. Sweat made his faded green Kalispell Search and Rescue T-shirt stick to his ribs, reminding me of the flanks of a cooling racehorse.