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All because of me.

Porter fills an electric teapot with water from the tap. I fall onto the cushions of the armchair, feeling bad for treating him the way I have. He’d only been doing what was best for me. This whole time. “I remember him,” I say. “I remember Gesh.”

Porter turns off the tap and looks at me.

I rub a hand over one of my forearms. “He tortured me, didn’t he?”

Porter’s eyes close for a moment, like my words pain him. Then he plugs the teapot in and flips the switch. “Gesh is a very troubled man.”

“That’s why I didn’t agree with his methods at AIDA.” I swallow a knot in my throat and hug my arms across my chest. “He hurt me. Hurt others too, I guess.”

Porter gives me this grave, solemn look. “I won’t let him hurt you ever again. Or your family. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

Somehow I know he’s telling the truth. “Is that why you hacked in and deleted Dr Farrow’s files? So there’d be no trace of my abilities?”

Porter pulls two mugs out of a cabinet and sets them on the counter. “I have to erase any trail that might lead Gesh to you. He has spies everywhere, especially at AIDA. Imagine one of them stumbling across Dr Farrow’s files – all her notes about a seventeen year-old girl plagued with realistic visions of the past. That would’ve led him straight to your doorstep.”

I bury my face in the crook of my arm, feeling like such an idiot. If Porter hadn’t been there to cover my tracks...

“Incidentally,” he says, “I heard Dr Farrow accepted a very lucrative job offer in San Diego. She boarded a plane this morning. We won’t be seeing her again anytime soon.”

I peek up at Porter from behind my arm. “You made that happen?”

He drops a teabag into each mug. “Couldn’t risk her being interrogated too heavily about the security breach.”

I watch him pour hot water over the teabags, the steam curling past his face and up to the ceiling. “You must be a pretty good hacker to break into AIDA’s database.”

“I should be.” He hands me a mug and sits down on the futon with his own. “I designed the system.”

ANSWERS. FOR REAL THIS TIME.

I sip my tea slowly, so it doesn’t burn my tongue, and Porter tells me all about Gesh.

“In the beginning, Gesh and Flemming lived by a strict code of ethics. Descending would be used for the good of humanity, nothing more. But Gesh lost sight of the code somewhere along the way. Once AIDA became large enough, and Gesh had trained enough recruits to do his cancer research for him, he took a step back to explore his own passions and greed. Descending was no longer a means to saving the world. It became a vehicle for conquering the world.” Porter leans against the back of the futon and props an ankle on his knee. “Imagine if I wasn’t there to chaperone your descent to Chicago. Imagine if you could get away with anything. What would you have done?”

I know exactly what I would’ve done. It involves Blue’s bedroom, his biceps, and a lot more kissing. But I don’t dare say that to Porter.

“You see,” Porter says, dunking his teabag up and down, “you were upset that I made you erase your first kiss. But you only erased it in that boy’s past. In your past life’s past. Not in your present. That kiss will still be your first, forever and always. You feel sick about it because the boy you shared it with won’t remember. That your night together may have prevented his unfortunate fate. But what if you didn’t care about that? What if you only cared about your own experience and nothing more?

“When Gesh discovered he could experience all the pleasures of the world – all the pleasures of a lifetime – in no more than a blink of an eye, he was hooked. He descended into bodies and used them however he saw fit. Gambling, drugs, sex, murder. He could live as wretchedly as he wanted – he could push life to the limit in those other bodies – and never sully his present day reputation as the revered founder of AIDA. The saint who dedicated his life to saving the world, one person at a time.” Porter makes a sound in his throat like he’s disgusted.

“For a while, when he was younger, sex was his main conquest. He took what he couldn’t have in Base Life. An enemy’s wife. A rabbi’s daughter. An actor or actress he fancied. It was all a game to him, seeing how far he could go. He could make all the impact he wanted, and all he had to do was go back and erase it, like you did your first kiss. Poof. It never happened. He did the same with drugs. With gambling. He pushed everything to the limit, even going so far as assassinating half a dozen US presidents, simply because he could get away with it. He used the past as his own personal playground. He stopped searching for cures long ago. Now the only things he searches for are lost treasures and unclaimed inheritances, just to line his own pockets.”

Porter places his soggy teabag on a saucer on his lap. “Remember I mentioned moving documents and other things to hidden locations to recover in Base Life? Like a time capsule? It’s just as easily done with treasure. And a lot more profitable. Within a few years, Gesh was the richest man on earth. Only no one knew it. They still don’t know it. He started companies and organizations all over the world to cover his tracks and launder the money he makes from his discoveries. Under the banner of AIDA, he bought out museums, universities, gave grants to private archeological teams – all so he could keep his personal name in the clear. He wanted AIDA to be recognized for every major historical breakthrough, not himself. Did you hear about that recent lost artifacts discovery in Scotland?”

I nod, remembering how it was all over the news. The largest and most priceless archeological find in history. Gold, silver, rubies, coins, armor, weapons – all sleeping peacefully in the highlands since the Dark Ages. My eighth grade history teacher made us write a report on it. “A team from a Scotland museum dug it all up. It was worth millions.”

“That’s the one. It took Gesh years to discover it. He sent dozens of Descenders back to the Dark Ages and the time of the Crusades, sending them into bodies of soldiers, of civilians. Each time he gathered more clues about the location of the lost hoard, until finally, he got the tip he was looking for. He bought the land using a phony identity that couldn’t be traced back to AIDA. Then when the time was right, he sent anonymous tips to the museum. His museum, mind you. When his team dug it up, the news spread fast. The museum took in donations from philanthropists to purchase the hoard from the landowner, which was Gesh. No one knew the massive amount of money they donated to Gesh went straight into Gesh’s pockets. Gesh walked away with millions and got to keep the treasure. It belongs to the museum now, which belongs to AIDA, which belongs to him. He’s playing God with the world, and no one’s the wiser.”

“What a brilliant, sick, twisted bastard,” I say, shaking my head.

Porter nods. “I thought the novelty of it – if you can forgive me for using such an innocent term – would eventually wear off, but it hasn’t. He won’t stop until he has everything. Until the world is his.”

I grip my mug so hard it’s in danger of cracking in two. Of course he won’t stop. Not the kind of man who’d smack and cut and burn a little girl who didn’t perform the way he wanted. The feeling of fear and hatred inside me that awoke when I remembered my past life with Gesh is now a solid knot of disgust lodged in my chest. I know what it’s like to feel that lure of addiction. The feeling of Base Life slipping away. The thrill of attaching myself to another existence, one where I’m not the Fix-it Freak. Wrapping my arm around Blue’s. Looking up into his blue-green eyes. Letting it all go for the chance to be someone else just a little while longer.