The decision made for me by instinct was to respond according to the second form, but the responsibility of the instinct did not end there. I was to run, but must be in a prone position in the instant of the explosion. Instinctual commands to the motor nerves were thus elaborate: I must run as fast and as far as possible but allow time for my body to drop flat and draw its legs together a millisecond before the grenade burst.
Three psychological factors were helpfuclass="underline" I was under the influence of mixed emotions – shock at the discovery that the body of the Chinese had been removed, anger because I had arrived too late, and fear that it was a trap set for me. The nerves were therefore prestimulated and conditioned to fast action.
During the full period of three and a half seconds conscious thought was uninvolved. The instinctive animal processes took over complete control in a spontaneous attempt to protect the organism. It was successful.
The blast wave ripped the jacket from my back and shrapnel fragments hammered into the soles of my shoes. Masonry broke into chips and fluted through the air. Something crashed down near my head and broke up. As the eardrums were relieved from the sonic pressure of the explosion I heard the scream of sirens. Half a minute later there was the sound of running feet as police approached from one end of the alley.
I began slowly to get up, and they helped me.
Two hours later I telephoned the British Embassy and asked for Room 6 and got Loman.
'Look, I'm stuck in a private ward at the Police Hospital and they want to ask a lot of bloody questions. Get me out, will you?'
Slight pause. 'This road?'
'Yes. Do something soon. I'm fed up.'
He said he would come. It was less than five minutes' walk.
The surgeon had had me on the operating table for fifty minutes: shrapnel lacerations left calf, both shoulders, back of skull; abrasions and contusions both knees, elbows, rib cage; stitches in left hand opened up. He was the same one who had fixed the hand this morning and I told him I'd fallen down a lift shaft, but this time he was annoyed and said the injuries weren't consistent. He reported 'wounds inflicted by foul play' and satisfied himself that the Special Branch knew about me.
They were on to me anyway, because the explosion had shaken everyone up and they thought it might be connected with the abduction crisis. Three of their people were round my bed when Loman came. I told him:
'I can't give them anything, Loman. A man slung an egg and then took off and that's all I know. For God's sake get them out of here so I can think.'
They understood English perfectly and didn't like it and Loman had to promise them a full statement as soon as I was fit enough to prepare one for them.
When we were alone I gave him a quick breakdown on the whole thing: Lincoln sedan, scene in warehouse, return to warehouse, body-snatch, grenade attempt. I didn't name Vinia but said it was someone who happened to be handy. He knew it must have been one of the Mil. 6 group but it was safe enough: rivalry and friction is rife between all hush services but there is a tacit law that I have never once seen flouted. Nobody sneaks.
Loman said conclusively: 'It was a trap.'
'Not quite. They got there first, that's all, and took away the body to make sure it gets proper burial – they're Chinese, remember. Then Kuo thought I might possibly show up there to see if they showed up there when the man was missed, so he sent someone along with orders to kill on sight.'
'Those orders,' Loman said, 'will remain in force. At a time when the Kuo cell is desperate to conceal its activities and leave the city, they alert the entire complex of police services in an attempt to kill you in the noisiest possible way, believing a grenade to be more certain than a bullet.' He stood looking down at me, brooding. 'They are quite determined on getting you, therefore, and when they realize they have failed they'll try again.'
I didn't want to talk any more because my hearing wasn't back to normal and the room was tilting about a bit: they'd shot some dope into me in the operation room. But it was important that Loman should know that he still had a useful agent in the field and I told him:
'Of course they'll try again. We can rely on that. This is our first real break – it's probably the only break we'll get before both candidates are taken to the exchange point and we lose the mission. We've got to find them, and the quickest way is to let them find me, so they can try again.' The whole room tilted and I heard Loman say something but I shut him up. 'Listen. Get me some clobber. I finished up in rags. You know my size. And fix me some transport, something fast, case I need it.' His bright eyes shone through darkening mist and I cursed the dope and said: 'You'll do that for me, Loman, won't you? Togs and a banger, soon as I come to. Only chance. Give the bastard? some bait. Put me on the bloody hook and swing it. Listen, Loman, do what I--' Blackout.
I slept for eight hours and it was night. It took an hour to get into the new clothes Loman had sent in for me and to argue the toss with the hospital superintendent, who didn't want to release me without a medical clearance from the surgeon; but I forced a personal responsibility quit form out of him and signed it and left. 9 P.M.
The pain was coming back as the last of the dope drained out of the nerves and 1 was glad of it because it goaded me into resolve: they'd set up a decoy and taken me in; they'd done an all-time snatch under my nose; Pangsapa had given me a lead and I'd mucked it and they were still holed-up and ready to make their break for the frontier. Now I had a chance and it was the only one I'd get and I would use it.
The streets were empty except for police. They wouldn't be much help because a marksman, if Kuo had set one up, could pick me off as I went down the steps of the hospital. There had to be risks. They'd try again. Loman knew it. I knew it. But if the risks didn't stack up too high there was a chance of exposing myself and surviving and getting a sight of them as they got clear. It was all we needed.
They knew the danger of that. The man on the roof knew he could get clear even if I survived the grenade, because even if he missed I wouldn't be in any condition to sight him and follow up: But they meant to finish me and they'd have to take chances because they wanted to do it before they left the city and they were in a hurry now.
I walked down the steps and into the red sector.
There was no one waiting for me. They hadn't expected me to leave so soon. They might not even know I was still alive. I would have to show them that I was. The bait had to be fresh.
The Embassy was five minutes away but it seemed a long walk because one of the fragments had pierced a shoe and bruised the foot and because every movement in the whole of the vision field had to be checked. I wanted the pain to go on, life to go on.
Five minutes for thinking. There were several reasons why they had suddenly decided to kill me. 1) They thought I might have learned something from the Chinese before he was killed and might try to use it for a solo operation without telling the police. 2) They believed it now to be certain that they could get the Person out of the city and to the exchange point; I was therefore no longer a reserve candidate and had become expendable, so that any danger I might offer must be taken care of. 3) Vengeance: the Chinese had been valued by the cell.