She woke up five seconds later.
People were up on their feet. They were high-fiving and hugging and dancing and singing.
The school band played a song. Well, the band members were all confused and excited,
so they played a song, sure, but each member of the band played a different song.
My coach was jumping up and down and spinning in circles.
My teammates were screaming my name.
Yep, all of that fuss and the score was only 3 to 0.
But, trust me, the game was over.
It only took, like, ten seconds to happen. But the game was already over. Really. It can happen that way. One play can determine the course of a game. One play can change your
momentum forever.
We beat Wellpinit by forty points.
Absolutely destroyed them.
That three-pointer was the only shot I took that night. The only shot I made.
Yep, I only scored three points, my lowest point total of the season.
But Rowdy only scored four points.
I stopped him.
I held him to four points.
Only two baskets.
He scored on a layup in the first quarter when I tripped I over my teammate's foot and fell.
And he scored in the fourth quarter, with only five seconds left in the game, when he
stole the ball from me and raced down for a layup.
But I didn't even chase him down because we were ahead by forty-two points.
The buzzer sounded. The game was over. We had killed the Redskins. Yep, we had
humiliated them.
We were dancing around the gym, laughing and screaming and chanting.
My teammates mobbed me. They lifted me up on their shoulders and carried me around
the gym.
I looked for my mom, but she'd fainted again, so they'd taken her outside to get some
fresh air.
I looked for my dad.
I thought he'd be cheering. But he wasn't. He wasn't even looking at me. He was all quiet-faced as he looked at something else.
So I looked at what he was looking at.
It was the Wellpinit Redskins, lined up at their end of the court, as they watched us
celebrate our victory.
I whooped.
We had defeated the enemy! We had defeated the champions! We were David who'd
thrown a stone into the brain of Goliath!
And then I realized something.
I realized that my team, the Reardan Indians, was Goliath.
I mean, jeez, all of the seniors on our team were going to college. All of the guys on our team had their own cars. All of the guys on our team had iPods and cell phones and PSPs and three pairs of blue jeans and ten shirts and mothers and fathers who went to church and had good jobs.
Okay, so maybe my white teammates had problems, serious problems, but none of their
problems was life threatening.
But I looked over at the Wellpinit Redskins, at Rowdy.
I knew that two or three of those Indians might not have eaten breakfast that morning.
No food in the house.
I knew that seven or eight of those Indians lived with drunken mothers and fathers.
I knew that one of those Indians had a father who dealt crack and meth.
I knew two of those Indians had fathers in prison.
I knew that none of them was going to college. Not one of them.
And I knew that Rowdy's father was probably going beat the crap out of him for losing
this game.
I suddenly wanted to apologize to Rowdy, to all of the other Spokanes.
I was suddenly ashamed that I'd wanted so badly to take revenge on them.
I was suddenly ashamed of my anger, my rage, and my pain.
I jumped off my white teammates' shoulders and dashed into the locker room. I ran into
the bathroom, into a toilet stall, and threw up.
And then I wept like a baby.
Coach and my teammates thought I was crying tears of happiness.
But I wasn't.
I was crying tears of shame.
I was crying because I had broken my best friend's heart.
But God has a way of making things even out, I guess.
Wellpinit never recovered from their loss to us. They only won a couple more games the
rest of the season and didn't qualify for the playoffs.
However, we didn't lose another game in the regular season and were ranked number one
in the state as we headed into the playoffs.
We played Almira Coulee-Hartline, this tiny farm-town team, and they beat us when this
kid named Keith hit a crazy half-court shot at the buzzer. It was a big upset.
We all cried in the locker room for hours.
Coach cried, too.
I guess that's the only time that men and boys get to cry and not get punched in the face.
Rowdy and I Have a Long and Serious Discussion about Basketball
A few days after basketball season ended, I e-mailed Rowdy and told him I was sorry that we beat them so bad and that their season went to hell after that.
"We'll kick your asses next year," Rowdy wrote back. "And you'll cry like the little faggot you are."
"I might be a faggot," I wrote back, "but I'm the faggot who beat you."
"Ha-ha," Rowdy wrote.
Now that might just sound like a series of homophobic insults, but I think it was also a little bit friendly, and it was the first time that Rowdy had talked to me since I left the rez.
I was a happy faggot!
Because Russian Guys Are Not Always Geniuses
After my grandmother died, I felt like crawling into the coffin with her. After my dad's best friend got shot in the face, I wondered if I was destined to get shot in the face, too.
Considering how many young Spokanes have died in car wrecks, I'm pretty sure it's my
destiny to die in a wreck, too.
Jeez, I've been to so many funerals in my short life.
I'm fourteen years old and I've been to forty-two funerals.
That's really the biggest difference between Indians and white people.
A few of my white classmates have been to a grandparent's funeral. And a few have lost
an uncle or aunt. And one girl's brother died of leukemia when he was in third grade.
But there's nobody who has been to more than five funerals.
All my white friends can count their deaths on one hand,
I can count my fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes, ears, nose, penis, butt cheeks, and nipples, and still not get close to my deaths.
And you know what the worst part is? The unhappy part? About 90 percent of the deaths
have been because of alcohol.
Gordy gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Well, I hate to argue with a Russian genius, but Tolstoy didn't know Indians. And he didn't know that all Indian families are unhappy for the same exact reason: the fricking booze.
Yep, so let me pour a drink for Tolstoy and let him think hard about the true definition of unhappy families.
So, okay, you're probably thinking I'm being extra bitter. And I would have to agree with you. I am being extra bitter. So let me tell you why.
Today, around nine a.m., as I sat in chemistry, there was a knock on the door, and Miss Warren, the guidance counselor, stepped into the room. Dr. Noble, the chemistry teacher, hates being interrupted. So he gave the old stink eye to Miss Warren.
"Can I help you, Miss Warren?" Dr. Noble asked. Except he made it sound like an insult.
"Yes," she said. "May I speak to Arnold in private?"
"Can this wait? We are going to have a quiz in a few moments."
"I need to speak with him now. Please."
"Fine. Arnold, please go with Miss Warren."
I gathered up my books and followed Miss Warren out into the hallway. I was a little
worried. I wondered if I'd done something wrong. I couldn't think of anything I'd done that would merit punishment. But I was still worried. I didn't want to get into any kind of trouble.