I must think clearly. But I was determined to make up my mind to go soon.
My steps had again led me to Enderby. I was still hoping that one of the Forsters would appear. The house looked silent. I turned away to the haunted patch. It looked quite normal in the light of day. I wondered someone didn’t mend the palings or have them taken away.
Absentmindedly I stepped over and walked on the grass. My mind went back to that evening at dusk when I stood on this spot and suddenly Gerard had arisen from the ground, as it were … as though he had stepped out of … a grave.
I shook myself. I had given up that nonsense of pretending that he was some long-dead gallant and that I had assumed a personality not my own. No … I had been revealed to myself. I had loved Gerard. Everything that had happened had been my desire. He had shown me my real self.
I could hear his voice saying: “I was looking for my fob. …”
And then suddenly I saw the glitter as the sunlight caught something lying there.
I immediately thought: It’s Gerard’s fob. And I ran forward.
But it was not a fob. What I was looking at was a crucifix which had been stuck into the earth.
I knelt down and touched it. It was firmly entrenched and it looked as though it had been put there not so very long ago because the grass had not grown round it.
How strange. I wondered who had put it there.
I stood there puzzled. Had it been there when Gerard and I had met here? It could hardly have been. Of course the grass could have hidden it. But there was very little grass growing just at that spot.
It was almost as though it marked a grave.
I stood up. I was beginning to feel very uneasy, and I had a great desire to get away. I felt I was walking rather blindly into something of which I was beginning to get a glimmer of understanding. I had a great desire to get away from this place.
I walked across the stretch of grass and stepped over the palings. I listened. I fancied that I heard a movement somewhere. It was just that uncanny feeling that I was being watched.
I started to run. It was not very far to Eversleigh, about fifteen minutes walk perhaps, but I always took the shortcut through the wood. It was scarcely a wood. Just a little stretch where the trees grew close together.
I made for it and as I entered wondered if I should have gone round by the road. It was foolish. The sight of that crucifix had unnerved me. I knew there was some meaning behind it.
Suddenly the realization came to me. I had been observed. I was now being followed. For what reason? I felt the goose-pimples rising on my skin. This was real fear. I heard a footstep behind me and started to run.
I was thankful that the trees were thinning and I would soon be in the open. I ran as fast as I could and when I had put some distance between myself and the last of the trees, I turned.
A man was emerging from the wood. This was my pursuer. Dickon!
He sauntered up to me.
“Hello, Zipporah,” he said.
I said breathlessly: “You’ve just come through the wood.”
He nodded, smiling at me, and I fancied there was an odd flicker in his eyes.
“Did you see anyone in there?”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
I stammered: “I wondered. … People don’t often use that stretch of wood.”
“There might have been someone,” he said. “Are you going back to the house?”
I said I was.
“I’ll walk with you.” He fell in by my side. I was very much aware of him and I was still trembling a little from my scare. I refrained from mentioning my feelings to him. I thought: He was my pursuer. Why was he frightening me? Was it just his mischief?
Then I noticed there was something different about the swing of his coat. Dickon was fast becoming a man of fashion and perhaps this was why I noticed that his coat bulged a little. He was carrying something in an inner pocket.
A sudden gust of wind made his coat swing open, and because I was really wondering what he carried I happened to glance down at that moment.
It was a pistol.
I was really shaken. What was he doing with a pistol? And why did he not call to me in the wood? He must have been aware that I was running away. Yet he had emerged casually sauntering as though there was nothing unusual about chasing people in woods. I had noticed lately a change in him. There was a hard glitter in his eyes which might have indicated a certain pleasure, as though he were engaged in some activity which intrigued him. I had put this down to his renewed acquaintance with Evalina and perhaps involvements with some of the Eversleigh serving girls who might seem more attractive than those at Clavering. They would be different and I imagined Dickon would like variety in his seductions.
But I was unsure of him now. Amorous encounters were second nature to him. I had a fancy that he was involved in something other than those.
Why should he be carrying a pistol? To shoot … what? Rabbits? Birds? For what purpose except the lust to kill? He had no need of food. That was plentifully supplied by Jessie, and he was a man whose sports would be conducted indoors rather than out.
Where did he get the pistol? There was a gun room at Eversleigh, of course.
So disturbed was I that I went to find it. I was not quite sure where it was. Nobody had pointed it out to me but I had some idea.
I found it. It was a small room but there were guns of all sorts there. It was impossible for me to see if any were missing. But of course it was from this room that he would have taken the pistol. Or he might have brought it with him in case he needed it on the journey.
Perhaps then there was nothing unusual about his having a pistol in his possession. Perhaps I was trying to make something out of nothing. Quite clearly I was getting a little overwrought and should go back to Clavering.
When I was in my room there was a knock on the door and when I called “Come in” Jessie entered.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you, Mistress Ransome,” she said, “but I have a message for you from Amos Carew. He says he’d be obliged if you would call on him tomorrow afternoon. He’ll be at the house between three and four and if that’s not convenient to you would you please name another time.”
“I can certainly see him tomorrow,” I said.
“That’s settled then,” she smiled.
I said: “I hope you’re feeling better now, and have got over that little scare.”
“I don’t know what got into me. It must have been a trick of the light … and that kitchen girl having said she saw something put it into my head. Well, I’m downright ashamed. I am that. It’s not like me, I can tell you.”
“We’re all surprised in ourselves sometimes,” I said.
She nodded. “I’ll get a message over to Amos,” she told me.
That night I was disturbed again. There was someone in the house who made nocturnal visits. I was wakened again and saw that it was two o’clock—the same time as before.
First the awareness that someone was below and then the creak of a door and the sound of stealthy footsteps.
It was either Dickon or Amos, I told myself. Their amorous adventures were really no concern of mine. I turned over and went to sleep.
The following afternoon I walked to Amos Carew’s house. It was the first time I had called there but I knew exactly where it was as Jethro had pointed it out to me very shortly after I had arrived on my first visit.
It was a pleasant house with a lawn in front and a porch in which pots of flowers were growing.
Before I had time to knock Amos Carew opened the door.
He took me into a sitting room which was comfortably furnished, though not large, and bade me be seated.