He occupied my thoughts a good deal during that journey. In fact he had from the moment we had met. I felt there had been a tragedy in his life and that it had set that melancholy look on his features. I wondered why Isabel, who was a rather garrulous woman not given to harboring secrets, had said very little about her brother-in-law apart from the fact that he was a good man whom she very much admired.
The journey was uneventful, the weather being perfect for it, and as Derek had made careful reservations and was a frequent traveler on the route we were very comfortable at the inn where we stayed the night.
To my great delight James Fenton was already at the Black Swan and his pleasure at seeing me was great. He looked well, I thought, and when I inquired after Hetty and the children he assured me that they were in good health too. I introduced him to the Forsters and I was delighted that they seemed immediately to like each other.
During the morning of the day after our arrival all the Forsters went out discreetly leaving me with James. Charles said he had to see about ordering supplies for the hospital; Derek had business and he took Isabel with him. James told me that he was glad we could be alone. He wanted to know how things were with us.
He was surprised to hear that we were at Eversleigh. I explained that that was why we had been unable to let him know I would be here. The letter had had to be sent on and then it was too late to let him know.
“Hetty will be so interested to hear that I’ve seen you,” he said. “She would have liked to come with me but there are the children, you know.”
We discussed the children for a while and he asked after Lottie.
I explained that we had not been so very long at Eversleigh.
“And Jean-Louis?”
I shook my head sadly. “He never really recovered from that accident at the fire all those years ago. He never complains so it is difficult to know how he is, but sometimes he looks so tired. I think Eversleigh is too much for him.”
“It is bigger than Clavering, isn’t it?”
“Much bigger. We do want a man to act as manager.”
I saw a rather wistful look in his eyes which made my heart beat faster.
Then he said: “Shouldn’t be difficult to find someone.”
I told him we were being rather wary and gave him a brief resume of what had happened.
He was astounded and found my story difficult to believe. He listened avidly.
“My goodness, Mistress Zipporah, you had a lucky escape.”
“It was strange that the one who saved me should be … Dickon.”
I saw his fists clench and unclench.
“Well,” he said at length, “it turned out all right then, and you’re here. If I hear of a good man … someone I can recommend …”
I was sinking into deeper gloom every minute. I realized now that my conviction that I must come and see James was because I had had some wild hope that I might persuade him to come back.
“Well, how are you getting on at the farm?” I asked.
He was silent for a few moments and that silence was significant.
“Oh … all right,” he said. “I’d like to be on my own, of course. Two people don’t always see eye to eye.”
“You mean it’s not working out?” Hope was springing up again. I hoped he didn’t hear the lilt in my voice.
“Oh, it’s working all right. It’s just that … well, there are things I miss.”
“Eversleigh is a fine estate,” I said. “You should see it. Jean-Louis often talks of you. He says you were the best man they’d ever had or were ever likely to.” I decided to plunge: “Could you come back to us, James … ? There’s a pleasant house … everything you could want.”
He shook his head. “I won’t beat about the bush,” he said. “I’d be glad to. I often think of the good times we used to have. Jean-Louis and I always saw eye to eye. Something I don’t do with my cousin … but even at Eversleigh I might see him … Dickon.”
“He hasn’t been over yet. It would be very rarely. We’re quite a way from each other.”
“I wouldn’t trust myself. He could come over anytime. No … I’ll stay where I am. I’m safe there. It’s not ideal. I’ll make no bones about it. If it weren’t for him I’d be there like a shot. Well, come to think about it if it weren’t for him I’d never have gone.”
“James,” I said, “you don’t know how badly we want you.”
“I want to come … but no. Not with him likely to turn up at any time. It wouldn’t do. Mistress Zipporah, and that’s flat.”
“I wish I could persuade you.”
“Wouldn’t be any need for persuasion but for that one thing. Hetty couldn’t bear to see him either.”
“She’s got over all that.”
“Never will completely. But we manage. He’s right out of sight and that helps put him out of mind.”
“Jean-Louis was so sorry he couldn’t see you. We did wonder if you knew anybody.”
“Well, that’s something I might do. I could hear of someone. I’ll keep my ears to the ground and if I find a suitable man … I’ll have him down there in no time.”
I saw that it was the best I could do.
“I wish you could see Jean-Louis. He’d be so pleased. Why don’t you come and stay with us for a few days? I assure you that there would be no possibility of your meeting Dickon. They are considering coming for Christmas but that’s way ahead.”
He hesitated and said he would think about it.
“The journey only takes two days. … Not a lot of time really. Do think very seriously about it, James.”
He did and at length decided that he would accompany us.
I was delighted, although my scheme had failed. I don’t know why I had felt that I had to come to London to see James. I had been convinced that something good would come out of it, and the good must be that he would come back to us.
The Forsters, who had taken a liking to James—and he to them—were very pleased to hear that he was going to travel back with us. “First, though,” said Isabel, “we must remember that we were having a jaunt to London and we must take advantage of the opportunity to do those things which we could not do at home.
“Charles,” she said, “you know how you always liked the theater. What if we all went to Drury Lane?”
Everyone agreed that that would be an excellent idea and accordingly I found myself seated in the stalls with Charles next to me, enjoying every moment, for it was a privilege to see the great Garrick perform. Charles, who had evidently been an ardent theatergoer at some time, was very knowledgeable about the stage. He told me that the best performance he had ever seen was that of Peg Woffington playing with Garrick in the Beaux’ Stratagem.
“Alas,” he said, “she is no more, though only a few years ago she was striding across the boards full of vitality. A great actress, and she and Garrick, you know, were lovers. It was believed they would marry. It was a surprise to us all when he left Peg for that foreign dancer … Eva Maria Violetti.”
Much of his melancholy had lifted. I had noticed that when we had driven through London. He pointed out certain landmarks to me almost with pride. I thought: This was once his home and he loved it.
I was carried away by the play and the players and I sensed that my enthusiasm pleased him. He said: “I once knew actors … I was a great theatergoer in my young days. Mind you, it’s a hard life. They look so pleased with themselves when they can win the approval of the audience that you’d think they hadn’t a care in the world beyond that. The reality is somewhat different.”