The Superior was in this case. A woman who has acquired some insight of the mysteries of love is wondrous sharp-sighted in all that concerns her passion. I had no doubt that the Father shared his spiritual consolations in secret between the two, and the prompt punishment of Mother Angelica confirmed my suspicions; and she expiated in a secluded chamber her offense against me as well as that of having rivalled her Superior in the heart of a lover to whom she was passionately attached.
I soon repented of my folly; I had always fancied that Angelica alone would be exposed to the storm, but it overwhelmed another beside. The monk, outraged at the loss of his mistress, suspected that Martin was the cause of it, and accordingly sacrificed him to his resentment by discharging him, so that I never saw him again.
Such, my dear Susan is my story; I need not advise you, the partner of my pleasures to keep it a secret.- Alas! I have had but few enjoyments since the loss of my lover.
“The recollections of Martin animated her, and her recital had produced the same effect on me. We found ourselves, without thinking of it, disposed not to await the next day to celebrate the loss of this dear lover. I reminded Agatha of the pleasures she had formerly tasted in his embrace.
“Deceived by my caresses, she appeared to forget that I was but a girl, and lavished on me the same names as she did with her lover.
“I was her angel, her God. I had not then the least idea of greater good that what I then enjoyed; to have Agatha in my arms seemed the very height of my desires. Imagination always exceeds the reality. Agatha remembered the pleasure that the rubbing of Martin's hair between her thighs had produced the night of her first meeting him in the church and promised to return the favor if I would procure her something like it. I consented. She lay on her back and I was to act; we so excited each other by tickling that we found ourselves, one with the head towards the bed's foot, the other exactly the reverse. In this situation we drew closer together. One of my thighs was on Agatha's belly the other under her buttocks. My belly and my buttocks were likewise between her thighs. With them closely stuck together, we squeezed and rubbed against each other, spending all the while. The sources of our pleasures, swelled with incessant spending, which had no other issue but to pass from one into the other, were like two reservoirs of delight, in which we were dying, drowned in the exquisiteness of our sensations; and were only resuscitated by the very excess of our raptures.-Exhaustion alone put a stop to our transports.-Enchanted with each other, we agreed to sleep together again the next night. We did so, and at this second occasion, I was further instructed by Agatha in this, to me, new science. These nights were only interrupted by my leaving the convent to come here.”
CHAPTER THREE
Susan's relation had greatly excited me, acting strongly on my imagination. Although I had affected to conceal my tears from her, my impassioned looks had betrayed me, as well as other visible proofs of sensibility which the subject would naturally produce: she had observed my movements, and was delighted at having produced the effect she desired, but dissembled her satisfaction with considerable artfulness. I was equally astonished and emboldened by her conversation. These vivid and animated pictures of the feelings and proceedings of Agatha in a position very much resembling our own, could only have been produced by a person whose heart was penetrated with the sweets of love. She had concealed no part of her conduct, nor in any way avoided giving things their own names. If we had been in the shaded alley, I should have taken the occasion to represent each picture she drew in their very life. But that was not her intention; and why not? How could I make that accord with what she had been telling me? Resolved to follow up my design, but taking care not to frighten Susan, I took other measures, seeking, in her recital, for arms to carry on my attack. I first asked her whether Agatha was pretty?- “As an angel,” replied she, “and a girl possessed of such charms is sure to please.” “But, Susan,” said I, “it is to be feared that her amorous inclinations will make her miserable.”-“Do not deceive yourself,” said Susan; “as I said, she has but recently taken the veil,, out of complaisance to her mother. The period for pronouncing her vows is not yet come; her happiness depends on the death of a brother, her mother's idol. It is probable that he will not outlive his sister's novitiate. He has been wounded in a brothel at Paris…”
“A brothel! What's that?” I asked, by presentiment, I suppose, of what was to happen to me in one.
“It is a house occupied by girls of easy virtue, who receive with complaisance the homage of libertines, and accede to their wishes, for what they can get by it. Their inclination leads them to this manner of love, and pleasure induces them to continue it.”
“Ah!” I exclaimed, “I should like to be in a town where there were such houses as those. And you, Susan?” She did not reply, but I understood from her looks that this passion had as powerful dominion in her heart as with the ladies occupying the houses above mentioned.
“I dare say,” continued I, “that Agatha would go there as readily as her brother.”
“No doubt; she loves the men to madness.”
“And you, little hussy,” I replied, “you don't like them?”
“I should like them-but it is dangerous to have intercourse with them.”
“Do you think so? It is not half so much as you imagine. Women do not always breed after it. Our neighbor here has been married a long time, and has never had a child.” This instance appeared to shake her.-“Hark ye, Susan,” I continued, and as if inspired by an intelligence beyond my years, “Sister Agatha told you that when Martin put it into her she was filled up with what he gave her; no doubt it was that which begot the child.”
“Very well!” said she, looking at me to read in my eyes an explanation without exposing herself. “What do you mean by that?”
“What I mean,” said I, “is this; that if it is what the man spends that produces the child, it is easy to prevent it by withdrawing when it is coming.”
“Ah, but can one do so? Have you not seen two dogs one on the other? It is in vain that you beat them- they cry out, drag each other along, but are so united that they cannot separate. Say now, what a start it would be if any one were to surprise a man and woman similarly circumstanced!”
This objection upset me; Susan appeared to have foreseen what I meant to propose to her. She seemed to await my answer, and could I have read her heart, I should have seen how she regretted having suggested a difficulty I was unable to surmount. I was deeply interested in the removal of this prejudice, as I saw that my happiness in great measure depended on doing so. I remembered well enough that Father Polycarp had no difficulty the day before in separating himself from Annette. I should have mentioned this, but I was rather inclined to let her see it for herself. My arguments did not persuade her, but her own desires made up the defect. She still affected to insist on her objection, and wanted an example to convince her. At the moment I saw the good man Ambrose come out of the house and go down the street. His departure afforded me the best possible opportunity for effecting my purpose; as I did not in the least doubt that the Father and Annette would take advantage of his absence, to make up for the time lost while he was at home. I said to Susan, with an air of assurance, “Come along, I will show you what a mistake you lie under.” I rose and helped Susan to do so, after thrusting my hand under her clothes without meeting any serious resistance.