"I don't know."
Nick pushed his food around on his plate.
"Something's bothering you, isn't it?"
After two years with Nick, Selena had gotten good at reading him.
Somewhere in his mind a quiet voice said tell her. He was tired of walking a mental tightrope about it. She'd handle it, or she wouldn't. It was time to come clean.
"The last time I saw Adam he gave me something."
Selena knew about Adam, everyone in the Project did. She waited.
"A file," he said.
"A file? What kind of file?"
"A classified file from Langley. From the 80s. Adam said it's the only copy."
"What's in it?"
Nick sighed. "It's about your father."
"Adam gave you a CIA file about my father? When were you planning on letting me know?"
"That's what I'm doing now."
"Why would he do that? Give it to you?"
"I suppose he wanted me to know what's in it."
She set her fork down "Where is it?"
"In the other room."
"Maybe you'd better show it to me."
Nick sighed again. He got up and went into the bedroom and took the folder from the drawer. He set the file down on the table in front of her and went over to the liquor cabinet. He was going to need something stronger than wine once she'd read the contents. Nick poured himself an Irish whiskey and went back to the table and sat down. He pushed away the remains of his meal. He'd lost his appetite.
Selena read in silence. He watched the impact of what she was reading sink in. She finished reading and went back to the beginning and began to go through the papers again. After a while she looked up. Her eyes were wet.
"Why didn't you show this to me before?"
"Because I didn't know how it would affect you. I knew I'd have to give it to you sooner or later."
"You didn't think I could handle it." Her voice was flat, emotionless.
"I didn't say that."
"This says that my father was a double agent, working for the KGB."
Nick felt helpless. What are you supposed to say when your lover finds out that her father was a traitor?
"I'm sorry, Selena."
"I don't believe this," she said. "My father wasn't a traitor."
"Adam has no reason to make it up."
"You don't know that."
"I know everything he's said in the past has turned out to be true. Why would he make something like this up? It's real," Nick said. "The paper is the right age. It even smells like the 80s."
"Maybe it's a false plant, a trick."
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know."
She picked up the folder, set it down.
"This says it wasn't a car accident that killed them."
"No."
"The KGB killed him. And my mother and my brother."
"They would have killed you too, if you had been in that car."
"Bastards," she said.
"I'm sorry," he said again. He didn't know what else to say.
"BASTARDS!" she shouted. She stood and hurled her glass of wine across the room. It shattered against the wall. Then she put her hands over her face and began sobbing.
Nick went over and put his arms around her and held her close without speaking. He could smell the clean scent of her hair. After a few moments she calmed. She wiped her eyes, used a napkin to blow her nose and sat back down at the table.
"I want a drink," she said. "A strong one."
Nick poured a double whiskey for her and another for himself. He gave her the glass and sat down across from her. She took a long swallow.
"My uncle knew," she said. "He knew all along. His name was on those papers. He signed off on them. I knew he had ties to the CIA, but I didn't know he worked for them. He had friends at Langley. One of them set up the security at my loft in San Francisco."
"It must've been a hell of a shock when he found out about your father," Nick said.
"How could my father do that? How could he betray his country? He was a wonderful man, a wonderful father. What makes someone turn on the country that gave him everything?"
"I don't know. I don't think Langley knew for sure which side he was really on. It looks like he was feeding the Russians false information along with the real goods. That would give the KGB enough reason to eliminate him. He might have been under orders to give them bad info."
"But if he was passing false information and Langley knew about it, why do these reports make it look as though he was a traitor, another rotten double agent?"
"There could be a lot of reasons. Maybe someone higher up wanted to cover their ass. Or someone wanted to manipulate the truth for their own advantage. When you start looking at Langley during the 80s, it's all smoke and mirrors."
"Bastards," she said again.
Nick wasn't sure whether she meant the Russians or the CIA.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"About what?"
"Are you going to tell Harker?"
"I don't see any reason to," Nick said.
"You don't think this could affect my clearance? Whether she trusts me or not?'
"Are you getting biblical on me?"
"What do you mean?"
"The sins of the fathers being visited on the generations and all that. You're not your father."
"You don't think she ought to know?"
"What good would it do?"
"Selena held up the file folder. "I want to study this," she said. "There could be something in it to clear my father's name. A detail, a name. Something."
"Maybe." Or maybe not, Nick thought. But he kept his thoughts to himself.
"I'm going home," she said. "I need to think."
Nick wasn't sure what to say. He opted for neutral.
"We have a briefing at 0900 tomorrow," he said. "You want to pick me up and give me a ride in?"
"I'll meet you in front of the building at eight."
"Call me. If you want to talk."
"I need to think," she said again.
He watched the door close behind her.
CHAPTER 10
The next day, Nick and Selena were riding back to Washington after the morning briefing in Virginia. Traffic on 66 was heavy. Selena had been quiet ever since they'd left the Project.
"How are you doing?" he said.
"All right. I've been thinking a lot about that file." Selena stepped down on the gas and blew past a delivery truck.
"Whoa," Nick said.
"What's the matter?"
"You just missed taking off the side mirror." He glanced at the speedometer. They were doing a little over 80.
"It's still there, isn't it?" Her voice was tight.
Nick started to say something and thought better of it.
"The whole thing stinks," she said.
"What do you mean?"
"The file makes it look like dad was a traitor. He would never be a traitor. Not to his family or his country. Langley knew he was passing things to Moscow. Why didn't they stop him? You don't let someone give away secrets, once you know what they're doing. He had to be working with the blessing of the Director."
"You think he was a double?"
"Yes. I think Langley used him to pass disinformation to the Soviets."
"Why wouldn't the file say that?" Nick asked.
"I don't know. Maybe someone made a mistake and didn't want it known. Maybe there really was a traitor, someone who tipped off the Russians and covered it up by making my father look guilty. I may never know exactly what happened, but I know that the KGB killed him. If the person who did it is still alive, I want to make him pay. I want him to tell me what he knows."
"Whoever killed him was a KGB assassin. How would you find him?"
"I don't know, but I will."
Looking at her, Nick was certain of one thing. If whoever killed her family was still alive, Selena would track him down. He suspected that once she found him, his days were numbered.