“What, me? Nothing. Cup of tea? You always feel better after a cup of tea.”
“Didn't you say ‘kitty yourself’?” Rat-catcher 1 demanded.
“I just asked if you wanted a cup of tea! Honest! Are you all right?”
Rat-catcher 1 stared at his friend, as if trying to see a lie in his face. Then he said, “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Three sugars, then.”
“That's right,” said Rat-catcher 2, spooning it in. “Keep up the blood sugar. You have to look after yourself.”
Rat-catcher 1 took the mug, sipped the tea, and stared at the swirling surface. “How did we get into this?” he said. “I mean, all this! Y'know? Sometimes I wake up in the night and think, it's stupid, this, and then I come to work and it all seems, well, sensible. I mean, stealin' stuff and blaming it on the rats, yes, and breeding big tough rats for the rat pits and bringing back the ones that survive so we can breed even bigger rats, yes, but… I dunno… I didn't used to be the kind of bloke that ties up kids…”
“We've made a big wad of cash, though.”
“Yeah.” Rat-catcher 1 swirled the tea in his mug and took another drink. “There's that, I suppose. Is this a new tea?”
“No, it's just Lord Green, like normal.”
“Tastes a bit different.” Rat-catcher 1 drained the mug and put it on the bench. “OK, let's get the—”
“That's about enough,” said a voice overhead. “Now, stand still and listen to me. If you run away, you'll die. If you talk too much, you'll die. If you wait too long, you'll die. If you think you're smart, you'll die. Any questions?”
A few wisps of dust drifted down from the rafters. The rat-catchers looked up, and saw a cat face peering down.
“It's that kid's damn mog!” said Rat-catcher 1. “I told you it was looking at me in a funny way!”
“If I was you, I wouldn't look at me,” said Maurice, conversationally. “I'd look at the rat poison.”
Rat-catcher 2 turned to look at the table. “Here, who stole some of the poison?” he said.
“Oh,” said Rat-catcher 1, who was a much faster thinker.
“Steal it?” said the cat on high. “We don't steal. That's thieving. We just put it somewhere else.”
“Oh,” said Rat-catcher 1, sitting down suddenly.
“That's dangerous stuff!” said Rat-catcher 2, looking for something to throw. “You had no business touching it! You tell me where it is right now!”
There was a thump as the trapdoor in the floor slammed back. Keith stuck his head up, and then came up the ladder while the rat-catchers watched in amazement.
He was holding a crumpled paper bag.
“Oh dear,” said Rat-catcher 1.
“What have you done with the poison?” Rat-catcher 2 demanded.
“Well,” said Keith, “now that you mention it, I think I put most of it in the sugar…”
Darktan woke up. His back was on fire and he couldn't breathe. He could feel the weight of the trap's jaw pressing down on him, and the dreadful bite of the steel teeth on his belly.
I shouldn't be alive, he thought. I wish I wasn't…
He tried to push himself upwards, which made it worse. The pain came back a little stronger as he sagged down again.
Caught like a rat in a trap, he thought.
I wonder what type it is?
“Darktan?”
The voice was a little way off. Darktan tried to speak, but every tiny movement pushed him further into the teeth below him.
“Darktan?”
Darktan managed a faint squeak. Words hurt too much.
Feet scrabbled forward in the dry darkness.
“Darktan!”
It smelled like Nourishing.
“Gnh,” Darktan managed, trying to turn his head.
“You're caught in a trap!”
That was too much for Darktan, even if every word was agony. “Oh… really?” he said.
“I'll go and fetch S-sardines, shall I?” stammered Nourishing.
Darktan could smell the rat's panic begin. And there wasn't time for panic. “No! Tell… me…” he panted, “… what… kind… of… trap?”
“Er… er… er…” said Nourishing.
Darktan took a deep, fiery breath. “Think, you… miserable widdler!”
“Er, er… it's all rusty… er… Rust everywhere! Looks like… er… could be a… Breakback…” There was a scratching noise behind Darktan. “Yes! I gnawed the rust off! It says Nugent Brothers Breakback Mk. 1, sir!”
Darktan tried to think as the constant, dreadful pressure squeezed him further. Mk. 1? Ancient! Something out of the dawn of time! The oldest he'd ever seen was an Improved Breakback Mk. 7! And all he had to help him was Nourishing, a complete drrtlt with four left feet.
“Can you… see how…?” he began, but there were purple lights in front of his eyes now, a great tunnel of purple lights. He tried again, as he felt himself drift towards the lights. “Can… you… see… how… the… spring… ?”
“It's all rusted, sir!” came the panicking voice. “It looks like it's a non-return action like on the Jenkins and Jenkins Big Snapper, sir, but it hasn't got the hook on the end! What does this bit do, sir? Sir? Sir?”
Darktan felt the pain go away. So this is how it happens, he thought dreamily. Too late now. She'll panic, and she'll run. That's what we do. When we're in trouble, we bolt for the first hole. But it doesn't matter. It is just like a dream, after all. Nothing to worry about. Quite nice, really. Perhaps there really is a Big Rat Deep Under The Ground. That'd be nice.
He drifted happily, in the warm silence. There were bad things happening, but they were a long way off and they didn't matter any more…
He thought he heard a sound behind him, like rats' claws moving across a stone floor. Perhaps it's Nourishing running away, part of him thought. But another part thought: perhaps it is the Bone Rat.
The idea didn't frighten him. Nothing could frighten him here. Anything bad that could happen already had. He felt that if he turned his head, he'd see something. But it was easier just to float in this big warm space.
The purple light was darkening now, to a deep blue and, in the centre of the blue, a circle of black.
It looked like a rat tunnel.
And that's where he lives, thought Darktan. That's the tunnel of the Big Rat. How simple it all is…
A shining white dot appeared in the centre of the tunnel and got bigger quickly.
And here he comes, thought Darktan. He must know a lot, the Big Rat. I wonder what he's going to tell me?
The light grew bigger, and did indeed begin to look like a rat.
How strange, thought Darktan, as the blue light faded into the black, to find it's all true. Off we go, then, into the tunn—
There was noise. It filled the world. And the terrible, terrible pain was back. And the Big Rat shouted, in the voice of Nourishing:
“I gnawed through the spring, sir! I gnawed through the spring! It was old and weak, sir! Prob'ly why you weren't cut in half, sir! Can you hear me, sir? Darktan? Sir? I gnawed right through the spring, sir! Are you still dead, sir? Sir?”
Rat-catcher 1 leapt out of his chair, his hands bunching into fists.
At least, it started out as a leap. About halfway, it turned into a stagger. He sat down heavily, clutching at his stomach.
“Oh, no. Oh, no. I knew that tea tasted funny…”he muttered.
Rat-catcher 2 had gone a pale green. “You nasty little—” he began.
“And don't even think of attacking us,” said Malicia. “Otherwise you'll never walk out of here. And we might get hurt and forget where we left the antidote. You haven't got time to attack us.”