The day of my first performance was marked by a rather funny interlude. One of my colleagues had been caught in the theater while committing a deadly sin. The female part of the conclave barely had time to digest this tidbit of news when they clamored for a severe punishment to give all of us a frightening example. The delinquent appeared before the tribunal of Monsieur Thuret to hear the verdict. The supervisor, La Chamaree, was willing to show mercy. But Madame Cartou, who was closely watched by her fellow-jurors, the ladies Fanchon-Chopine, Desaigles and Mother Superior Carville, declared that the consequences could be very dangerous if such missteps were forgiven; novices could be encouraged by lack of punishment to commit monstrous excesses, and might even cause a revolt among the girls of the Opera comique. She added that it was unforgivable and dishonorable to allow such indecencies to happen in this theater which, ever since its foundation, had been a model for the most tender and charming gallantry and courtesy. They had to punish this criminal female severely or else it would not take long ere no decent girl would be willing to join the ranks at the Opera. Madame Fanchon-Chopine gave her final opinion and insisted that the girl should be immediately stricken off the payroll. Monsieur Thuret, who was very well aware of the fact that he could do nothing to change the minds of those blockheads, declared that the guilty girl had lost all honor and privileges and was immediately, without the right of protest, released from the opportunity to show her pretty face and beautiful legs ever again upon the stage of this august institution.
CHAPTER ELEVEN. MY FINANCIER
My ballet shoes had already twirled for more than two weeks among the pupils of Terpsichore, when I found the following letter upon awakening one beautiful morning. It read as follows:
Mademoiselle:
I noticed you yesterday in the Opera. I like your face. When you feel the desire to reach an agreement with a man who is horrified at the thought of objections during amorous dalliance and who never utters a sigh of love with an empty pocket, please be so kind as to let me know your reply by return. I remain…
Even though I had very little experience with society and did not possess the knowledge to classify people by their writing style, I instinctively presumed from the blunt and short language of this note that I had touched the heart of a financier. Acquaintanceships of this calibre are too precious to ignore when they show up. So I decided not to pretend to be a prude and wrote an immediate answer. I told him I felt greatly honored that he preferred me above the many other most charming young ladies he had seen at the Opera. And it would be very bad manners if I did not recompense his kindness and accept his dear invitation. And since he was waiting so impatiently to meet me, I assured him that the pleasure was entirely mine.
He appeared an hour after my answer in a beautifully appointed equipage which, without being ostentatious, showed the wealth of its owner. I met him, properly veiled. To paint his picture in a few words: he was a little, thickset and terribly ugly man of around sixty. When he entered, a few gallant phrases bubbled from his lips and I would not have understood a single word were it not for the fact that he discreetly slipped a roll of fifty louis d'or into my hands. There are absolutely no unfriendly greetings when they are accompanied by such a noble gesture; every word becomes admirable and heartening. It was not only what he said to me that seemed so friendly and artistically expressed but I also seemed to discover traits of nobility and refined manners in his features which might have escaped me at first glance. That happens to be the result of good manners: one can always be sure of being well-liked when one knows how to behave upon entering another's home.
I wore my most charming, passion-evoking deshabille. The artfulness which I had employed so closely resembled nature itself that my charms did not seem to need any help from costume or cosmetics. The effect was precisely as I had expected. My financier thought me adorable. His passionate glances and the impatience of his hands left no doubt that I would not remain untouched. But what happened? After fumbling around for almost an hour, I experienced the most horrendous failure. This humiliating adventure pained me deeply, especially since this was the first time that such a thing had ever happened to me. I shuddered at the thought that he might have discovered some imperfection of which I had hitherto been totally unaware. But fortunately I recovered my courage when he confessed to me that such incidents quite frequently happened to him. In fact, the good man spoke the truth. During the entire year in which I lived together with him, he failed with the regularity of a timepiece twice a week. And even though this was a terrible fact, many a girl would have been very happy if she had been in my place under similar circumstances. He had decorated and furnished a home for me in the rue Sainte-Anne, paid for the entire cost of my household and gave me every month one hundred pistoles. I had a beautiful opportunity to make a fortune out of this acquaintanceship when he suddenly lost his. This unexpected event interrupted not only my means of income but also our love life. At the Opera everything depends upon the acquisition of a certain fame. Nothing brings an actress more acclaim than the reputation of having been the cause of several bankruptcies and having utterly ruined several of her admirers. The downfall of my financier brought me an incredible fame. A whole band of new admirers from all ranks begged to be introduced to me. But I did not want to make a decision without getting the good advice of Monsieur de Gr… M.. and of Brother Alexis. I felt deeply indebted to both gentlemen. I will include here, in parentheses, so to speak, the wholesome advice I received from them, as a sort of monument of my gratitude and as a dependable guide for every girl who wants to make a good profit from her charms.
ADVICE FOR A PRETTY GIRL
*Every girl or woman who wants to make her fortune in this world has to keep in mind, constantly, only her own interest and her own gain, just like any other merchant. *Her heart should be closed to love at all times. It is sufficient if she pretends to experience love and knows how to make others fall for her. *Whosoever pays the most must have preference over all other rivals. At least she should make a comparison between him and people of standing because the majority of them are arrogant and thievish. The great, persistent financiers are more solid and easier to dominate. One must know how to take them. *If she is smart, she will rid herself of every paramour unless his upkeep does not cost her a penny. It often happens that he drives away those upon whom her livelihood depends. If she nevertheless wants to keep a paramour to pass her idle time in amorous exploits, she should never feel pangs of conscience, because these little affairs are the incidentals which may keep her happy. *She should imitate to the best of her ability the frugality of Mademoiselle Durocher, the mistress of Lord Weymouth, and only enjoy the delicious morsels when they don't cost her Lord and Master any money. *She should invest her money carefully and get the best interest from it. *When she likes a foreigner and a Frenchman equally well and both compete for her favors, she should not hesitate to select the former. Entirely aside from the dictates of good manners, she will greatly enhance her fortune, especially if she can enter into affairs with the Mylords from the City of London. These people, though basically poor suckers, are capable of ruining themselves financially out of pride, just so they can be considered richer than we are. *She will do very well, especially, to protect her health, in avoiding any contact with Americans, Spaniards and Neapolitans; and let herself be guided by the rule: Timeo Danaos Et Dona Ferentes' *One final warning: she should never express her own opinions. She should carefully study the individuality of her lover and disguise herself with it as if it were her own. sig. Gr… M… and Fr. Alexis, OFM.