I do hope that all the girls of my profession will imprint this codex deeply into their memories, and that they make good use of it, as I did!
CHAPTER TWELVE. THE BARON
The first one who fell into my snares to replace the old financier was a baron, the son of a German wholesale merchant from the city of Hamburg. I do not believe that there was ever a more stupid and disagreeable creature to come out of Germany. He was as tall as a beanpole, bowlegged, a flaming redhead, a high-grade ass and an incurable alcoholic to boot. This 'cavalier,' the hope and idol of his family, traveled around Europe to round out the talents with which Nature had blessed him through contact with those that are commonly referred to as the fairer sex. The only decent house he knew in Paris was that of his banker who had been ordered to pay him as much as he wanted. His only company consisted of two or three spongers who told him whatever they expected he would like, and a few cheap bunnies he had picked up from Madame Lacroix' seraglio.
Monsieur de Gr… M…, who was as much devoted to my interests as his own, was of the opinion that it would be a pity if this pigeon could not be locked up in our cage. He insinuated to the baron that it was almost indecent when a nobleman like himself did not live up to the expectations which his high station in life required of him. Nothing was more en vogue and modern for the man of distinction, and nothing could do more to enhance his honor than to keep a demoiselle from the theater. In a word, it was precisely through such liaisons that our young gentlemen from the better classes and the jurists of any standing acquired their gallant manners and were accepted as bon ton in high society.
The baron was highly pleased with this sensible advice and confessed that he had longed for a love affair with a girl from the Opera and that he would consider himself extremely lucky if I could be the one.
“I'll be blasted!” exclaimed Monsieur de Gr… M-“That is what I call a true display of extremely good taste. It is as if you had lived in Paris for more than ten years! Do you realize that from time immemorial there has not been such an incredibly charming creature ever to grace the stages of Paris? She has been unencumbered for the past month and she cannot make up her mind to whom she will allow the honor to protect her. The poor child is literally besieged with offers. I will take it upon myself to handle your best interests. Between you and me, the only hope I can give you is that I happen to know she has a weakness for those foreign devils. But I also want you to understand that she is not very interested in material things. She is the kind of girl that could easily fall in love with you, provided your behavior toward her is utterly correct. You would not believe me if I told you how much she was devoted to her former lover. And they deserved each other. Nobody has ever seen a nobler and more unselfish couple. She tried in vain to keep her needs secret from him — you must undoubtedly understand that a young and charming lady is invariably in need of a few odds and ends… But he possessed the most amazing discernment and would always find out about it. And then, whenever he paid for it those two would have the most touching quarrels, setting an example for all the world in magnanimity and generosity.”
The baron, who was pleasantly surprised with the laudable commendation about me, begged Monsieur de Gr… M… to bring about an introduction to me as quickly as he possibly could and told him not to regard any cost as an obstacle.
Fully intending to heighten his ardor, I decided not to be in a hurry and let a couple of days pass ere I would notify him of my decision. We finally met for the first time at the Opera during a repeat performance of “Jephta,” where he was greatly honored to be allowed backstage to kiss my hand respectfully. I was not too annoyed that he met me during a repeat performance, because it is on those occasions that the ladies show up in all their splendor, surrounded by the glitter and dignity of their positions, trying their best to make each other jealous by showing off the spendthrift and humiliating foibles of their scatterbrained lovers.
Even though I had only brought one single man to ruination, I already owned a considerable amount of jewelry and many valuable trifles, and was seated among the most important mistresses, which meant that I had my own chair at the side of the orchestra. I had crossed my legs rather carelessly. It was very cold but unfortunately it was customary to be seen in valuable and impressive negliges. Draped in ermine, mink and sable, I kept my feet in a box which was covered with crimson-colored silk and lined with bearskin while its temperature was raised by periodically changing tin bulbs filled with boiling water. In this proud getup I whittled away with a small golden weaver's shuttle, and with a bored expression I looked now and then at my watch and let it ring. I opened and closed all my snuff boxes, one after another, and whisked from time to time a valuable rock-crystal flask under my nose to cure myself of the vapors I did not have. I bent over to say nothing to my colleague in order to give the curious monocles a chance to judge the elegant bearing of my limbs. In short, I committed thousands of naughty and impudent little acts which delighted the simpletons among the audience. Whenever my eyes met someone, who thereupon deeply and respectfully bowed, I could be sure to make him delirious with happiness if I deigned to return his greeting with a hardly recognizable nod.
At this moment of triumph it was very, very difficult for me to remember my first position of employment. The luxury which surrounded me, the obeisance of those who paid me court, had wiped out all of these memories. I believed myself to be a goddess. And how could I have thought otherwise when I was surrounded by the blind adoration and the tokens of precious admiration of the highest ranking personages? Let us be honest about this: it is the men and not we who should be accused of our carefree and spendthrift behavior. Because it is they who distort our sense of values and turn our heads with their miserable submission, their flattery and their inanities. Why shouldn't we indulge, since they give us their example and forget their dignity completely? I cannot help but admit this shame for both parties involved. Our only merit exists mainly in the lecherous fantasies and the perverted tastes of our admirers. Excuse me, my dear girls, for the frankness I have used in this little reprimand. My open-heartedness will not harm your interests and it is far from me to wish such a thing. And as long as there are men in this world, you will never have trouble finding one who will be willingly led by the nose.
But let us return to our baron. I had noticed with much pleasure that my slight attentive-ness toward him had thrown him into the frenzies of ecstatic delight; he had lost his freedom. From the beginning to the end of the performance his eyes were glued to me like a dog on a leash and he seemed to thrive on the contemplation of my many charms. After the performance I allowed him to invite me into his coach, and did him the honor of having supper with him. Monsieur de Gr … M…, who had remained in the theater because of some sort of unfinished business, joined us about a quarter of an hour later. Since I did not want to destroy the glorious picture that he had painted of me to the baron, I remained very reticent throughout the entire evening and I played my act so naturally, pretending to be a tender young maiden, that the poor idiot in all seriousness believed I was capable of such feelings.
Nature has the habit of equalizing the injustice she has wrought in stupid people with a considerable dose of egotism. The more blunt and unsympathetic they are, the more firmly they believe that they are a boon to society. And this was also the weakness of my hero. He did not doubt for one moment that I was as smitten with his charms as he was with mine. And it was a very heavy task for me to make this flattering impression seem true to him. During supper I was a veritable picture of good graces and shy humility. And when he retired, my looks told him that I loved him — he would have sworn upon that — and that I expected him tomorrow between ten and eleven o'clock to drink chocolate with me. (That was the time I had intended to find out exactly how generous he would be.) His arrival was so punctual that I was still in bed when he was announced. I quickly put on my morning robe, and since I did not have to be afraid, like most girls, of being seen in my natural state without having to employ all the tricks of artful make-up and tedious toiletry, I received him in a very simple neglige; however, with all the little hypocrisies and commonplaces which are expected on such occasions.