When the baron, upon awakening the next morning, found out what had happened and received the message I had given him, he nearly went out of his mind. He wrote me several letters but I refused to accept them. Finally he realized that a visit to Monsieur de Gr… M… was his last resort. And by doing so, our pigeon had delivered himself into the talons of a hawk. That shrewd panderer did not dream of alleviating the baron's fears. Instead, he accused him of criminal behavior and decided that there was simply not one single ground for attaining my forgiveness. The poor, utterly devastated baron cried, howled, groaned and made such a complete fool of himself that Monsieur de Gr… M… began to fear that the man would be dumb enough to hang himself, in which case we would have been left holding the bag. He therefore deemed it wiser to change his pitch.
“You have an affair with the nicest, kindest most forgiving girl in the world,” he told the baron, “and that may be the saving grace in your case. Even though the insult you committed toward her is almost unbelievable, I have no doubt that your true penitence and humility will not fail to soften her heart sooner or later. I have good reason to believe this, because I happen to know that she is hopelessly in love with you and that the certain pride with which she arms herself is merely because she deems it improper to show you her true feelings. Nevertheless, she always fails completely in keeping up her guard all the time, and in those instances she invariably decides in your favor. Why, just yesterday… no, no, let me finish… Yesterday, I said, she was unable to keep back her tears when I happened to mention your name. She even confessed to me that she had never met anybody, no matter who it might have been, who had caused her to love so tenderly as you did. You can be assured: the poor child has not slept more than four hours altogether since you two had your little quarrel. And do you really want to know how much bad luck she is suffering? While she is about to collapse under the burden of her grief — which you caused her to suffer — some asinine decorator wants to sell her furniture for a pittance because she owes him two thousand thaler.”
“Vivat!” exclaimed the baron while he embraced him. “Without realizing it, you have just offered me the most wonderful opportunity to make my peace with her. I insist upon taking over her debts. Tomorrow morning I will pay that scoundrel, or he will find himself without any more clients in all of Paris.”
“I'll be…” retorted Monsieur de Gr… M… “That is a marvelous thought. Though the idea is so simple, it wouldn't have occurred to me in a hundred years! But it is truly worthy of a noble gentleman like yourself and a boon to the darling creature that inspired you to it. Yes I fully agree with you. It is well nigh impossible to think of a better way to conquer her grudge against you. She is far too tenderhearted not to be touched to the very depths of her sweet soul by the nobility of such a generous gesture. I would advise you to get the money as quickly as possible and return to me immediately. I will take care of the rest.”
Well, the sacrificial lamb was in so much of a hurry that de Gr… M… brought him to me the very next day, carrying two hundred and fifty beautiful new louis d'or. At the melodious sound of these gold coins a river of tears sprang up in my eyes and the whole situation became so melodramatic that the baron bleated like a sheep. Our reconciliation was so touching that I almost fainted because of a laughing fit.
One has to be as phlegmatic as de Gr… M… to watch a ridiculous scene like that with a stone face. After the heart-rending manner in which we made up for our little disagreement, the love and generosity of the baron became so great that I could have taken him for all he was worth had it not been for his upright father who had been informed from time to time about the most unusual invoices his dear son was paying. And one day this man arrived from Paris to personally tear the refugee Adonis from Hamburg out of my embraces.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN. THE CAVALIER
Because of the enormous contribution I had managed to wrangle out of enemy territory, I had decided to be maintained exclusively by foreigners and thus increase my fortune rapidly, since I had absolutely no desire to grow old in my trade. According to my calculations I should be able to find three or four more blockheads like the last one who could feather my nest for the remainder of my career. But that case had been an exception and he was not that easily replaced.
To avoid idleness, I decided to make some raids among my compatriots and try to find a fitting replacement for my baron.
It was an established custom among the mattresses to frequent those places where society usually gathered. It meant that we had said our farewells to our keepers and implied that both our hearts and homes were vacant and for rent. Following this time-honored and profitable custom, I showed up at those places that were most frequented, except at les Tuileries which we avoided ever since the painful experience of Mademoiselle Durocher.
The Palais Royal was a territory as suitable and proper, and by hallowed tradition just as fitting as the Opera, which meant that we were completely free in these public gardens to be-have like proper ladies and allow the passersby full view of our charms, our artful make-up and our voluptuous gowns, without fear of retaliation. In vain, certain mocking critics were shameless enough to say that the royal palace and its gardens were the ideal places to meet profiteers, pimps and prostitutes. Their vile and dark intimations did not deter, however, the beautiful, idle youth of Paris, the chic gentry the lawyers and the men of the cloth, from getting together daily at those places, especially in the evenings before and after the theater. A large number of charming ladies of every conceivable variety formed the main decoration. The lines that were formed upon the benches under the large trees of the promenade made many a head turn. They offered the onlooker a festive, pleasing and relaxing view while the variety was truly astonishing, and the multitude defied description. Thousands of little girls huddled together like sparrows on a tree branch exuding an aroma of lascivious-ness. There is no other place in the world like it. But what could possibly be so remarkable about it? If it is true that we are the soul of all pleasures, if it is correct and proper to chase us, then why shouldn't our gathering places be the most beautiful ones in the world? The secret gift, which enables us to enchant and cheer up any gentleman who selects our company, is indeed so inseparable from our personalities that voluptuousness and debauchery follow us even into the Holy of Holies. The best proof of that is the Church of the Hospital for the Blind. It was our privilege to carry on in that place just as shamelessly as around the Palais Royal and our Opera. During the services we would be pursued with promising gestures, artful obeisances or the loud clicking of the handles of lorgnettes. They even go much further than that: they lean forward and whisper suggestive jokes into our ears. Our replies are equally as kind and charming, our suggestions just as daring, frequently interrupted by laughter and giggles which we try to hide by holding our fans in front of our faces. Meanwhile the Mass draws to an end while we have not had a chance to watch the motions of the priest; yes, sometimes we are not even aware whether he is standing in front of the altar or not. Our pious devotions usually result in a small supper at one of the petites maisons, or in a little intrigue.
One day, I agreed to an affair which disappointed me most painfully. One of those most charming lady's escorts, who are so adept at embezzling, who, thanks to the unpardonable carelessness of the chief of police, prowl around in Paris and show off their splendor, and create uproars at the expense of the same decent people they fleece, one of those depraved rascals, I said, whose pompous manners impress everybody, had discovered the secret of how to participate in every entertainment. Whether it was a trip into the Bois de Boulogne, or a supper, one would have died of boredom if Monsieur le Chevalier had not been present.