To the Search and Rescue team whose glowing, dirty faces rimmed the enclosure, all of them looking down into the grave, Dixon said, "Let's get to work."
Inside the farmhouse, a single light burning in the other room, Elden Tegg sat in the relative darkness. He missed Pamela. She was essential to the team. Without her, this procedure was going to be much more difficult, though not impossible by any means. Even so, he remained quite angry with her for wanting no part in this, for forcing him to hide it from her.
Tegg accepted his solution to the Michael Washington problem, because he felt justified in blaming it on others. The police were a force to be reckoned with; he had no desire to be an object of an investigation. He also blamed Washington himself-a victim of his own foolishness. He prepared mentally for the task at hand, experiencing a stimulating warmth in his neocortex. He felt high. He felt ready.
He headed toward the kennel through the chill night air, drawn to the barking like a mother to a baby's crying. As he unlocked and opened the door, Felix-left free to defend-and the others went silent. Tegg stood before Washington's cage, his doctor's case in one hand, the collar's remote device in the other. Washington's hot, terrified eyes revealed a man overcome with fear. Even though excited, Tegg didn't feel good about this; but he accepted it just the same. Did the man know what fate awaited him? Sharon looked terrified as well. We're all in this together, Tegg thought, each inexorably linked to the other.
He waved the "wand."
"You don't want me to use this, do you?" Washington replied through the muzzle in words surprisingly clear, "What right do you have to do this? Who made you God?"
Tegg's knee-jerk reaction was to light him up with the "wand" and watch him squirm. But he didn't do that. He felt compelled to answer this, if for no other reason than to hear the explanation himself. "I am doing what must be done. We all are. It is not without sacrifice on all our parts. No. Not without sacrifice."
"But you're a fake! You aren't even a doctor. You told me yourself: You're a veterinarian! An animal doctor! How can you pretend like this?"
"Pretend?" Tegg's nostrils flared.
His eyes flashed hot. Auspiciously, the dogs, who had been pacing anxiously inside their cages, all stopped at once, as if on cue. The building went deathly silent.
Tegg depressed the button on Washington's "wand." The black man repeatedly danced around the cage like a marionette. Sharon screamed soundlessly. The dogs barked.
Tegg stopped. Enough.- Washington collapsed to the cement, a magnificent erection rising from him.
Tegg said to Sharon, "What do you make of that2" He indicated Washington's erection, but she wouldn't look. She curled into the fetal position, trembling.
Washington was weakened to the point that he couldn't move quickly-the perfect target.
Tegg used the dart gun next, administering a strong dose of Valium. He would hold off on the Ketamine until he had him up in the cabin. "He's going to sleep, that's all," he told the woman in a blatant lie. How many times had he spoken this line to pet owners? What a strange euphemism. Washington did not attempt to remove the dart. His will was broken. Strangely, that hurt Tegg most of all.
The first few incisions went beautifully. I should be videotaping this, he thought. His patient lay before him, an eight-inch incision in his chest. Again, he longed for Pamela's assistance and support. He had grown to depend on her, an uncomfortable feeling, a sort of attachment that he couldn't fully accept.
He thought through the procedure carefully now, for this was exactly where he had made his mistake twenty years before. He pushed the thought of the police from his mind. He pushed away his temporary anger at Pamela. He tried to transcend it all-to establish a quiet place in his mind from which to commence.
He reviewed each detaiclass="underline" He would split the sternum with the sternal saw; place and lock the sternal retractor, opening the chest cavity; open the pericardial sac; identify and immobilize all the vessels leading in and out of the heart; flush the heart with cold -solution; place ice around the heart; collect and centralize all the vessels; cut the heart out and place it immediately in ice. He congratulated himself on how effortlessly he recited the various steps. Not so terribly difficult. One step at a time. He checked, insuring that any and all instruments he might possibly need were within easy reach. They were. Ready now ...
He switched on the sternal saw. The Ketamine, Valium, and Versed paralyzed and relaxed the man, but left his eyes open in a vacant stare. Tegg was distracted by those eyes. Without Pamela by his side, whom he normally used as a sounding board, describing each detail of the procedure like a pilot running down a checklist, Tegg found himself looking at those eyes, engaging his patient in a monologue. The electric saw hummed noisily. A sternal saw requires an upward pressure in order to cut the bone and still remain at a safe distance from the tissue beneath it-the heart. With the sternum exposed, Tegg fed the saw under the lower edge of the sternum into the chest cavity, slipping the edge into the lot made to accept it.
This was the very same procedure Tegg had failed to execute properly twenty years before. Seemed like yesterday, now that he had this saw in hand. Seemed so much like yesterday, that yesterday came right out Of his subconscious. His mind played tricks on him: it wasn't Washington on the operating table, it was Thomas Kent. His eyes were open. He looked dead already. One second Washington; the next Thomas Kent. Back and forth: black skin, white skin, positive, negative. "You're a fake!" He recalled this man's words clearly. But I'm not, he thought. I'll show you. Stemum goes in the mouth of the saw-he could remember performing this procedure on cadavers, never a hitch. He could remember assisting Millingsford a dozen times. Never a hitch. "Stop staring," he told his patient. He hadn't bothered with conventional anesthesia because Washington wouldn't be around after this, and it was usually Pamela's job anyway. The harvest would be over in thirty minutes or so-what was the worry?
It was those eyes. Was he awake? "Stop staring," Tegg beseeched the man for a second time.
He flipped on the switch. Sternum goes in the mouth of the saw Only for a fraction of a second did he glance at those eyes. "A fake!"
Too long. He neglected to maintain the constant upward pressure required of the saw. Suddenly, the donor s warm blood, like water from a burst pipe, sprayed into Tegg's eyes and blinded him. At the same time, he was flooded by his memories again. Was this nothing but the same nightmare he had lived with for twenty years? For a moment he stepped back, believing it was, but his surroundings-the plastic walls and ceiling-alerted him that this was for real. He jumped back to work, literally throwing the saw to the cement floor with a crash.
He attempted to contain his mistake, which was like expecting the Dutch boy to hold back the flood, like trying to piece a blowout back together from the scraps of a tire found in the breakdown lane. He enlarged the chest incision, gaining access to the heart by reaching beneath the sternum. He quickly packed the wound with cloth, applying pressure with his hand. He plugged the hole in the man's heart with the cloth and pinched the tough muscle shut. But he was all out of hands. The hemostats-the clamps were just off to his left, lying there waiting for him, staring at him, glinting in the light, but his hands were fully occupied. Pamela! If only ... Frantically, he released the heart and made for the clamps. Blood erupted like a geyser. He began furiously clamping anything he touched. The bleeding slowed and stopped. For a moment he thought he had contained it, but then he looked up at the monitor and realized the patient was dead. in abject horror, in fear of total failure, Tegg worked at a frantic pace. There was far too much blood on the chest for him to see what he was doing. His movements, usually smooth and controlled, came out of him as small explosions. He retrieved the saw, opened the chest and let his fingers be his eyes. The organ was ruined. The saw had inflicted a two-inch incision in the left ventricle. Had it only been the pulmonary artery ...