“I know,” Alderpaw murmured. But that’s easy enough to say.
He didn’t want to look at Cherryfall and Sparkpaw bouncing along ahead of them, carrying Sparkpaw’s prey. And just when he thought he couldn’t possibly feel more depressed, Ivypool, Birchfall, and Sorrelstripe emerged from the undergrowth. They were also heading for the camp, and also carrying prey.
“You’ve had good hunting,” Cherryfall remarked, nodding toward the couple of squirrels and the rabbit the patrol were carrying.
“So have you, by the look of it,” Ivypool responded.
“Oh, these are Sparkpaw’s,” Cherryfall meowed. “And it’s her first day out of camp.
Not bad, huh?”
“Wow, that’s amazing!”
Sorrelstripe exclaimed. “Good job, Sparkpaw.”
“You’ve got a good apprentice there,” Birchfall added.
“It’s because Cherryfall is such a good mentor,” Sparkpaw mewed.
No cat took any notice of Alderpaw, which suited him just fine. His tail drooped lower and lower with disappointment in himself, and he wished he could sink into the forest floor and disappear.
As they entered the camp, Alderpaw spotted Bramblestar standing on the Highledge outside his den, talking to Graystripe. As soon as he saw the returning cats, he broke off his conversation, ran lightly down the tumbled rocks and bounded across the clearing to meet them.
“How did your first day out of camp go?” he asked.
Cherryfall and Molewhisker exchanged a glance; Alderpaw could see they were amused by Bramblestar’s eagerness to find out how his kits had done.
“I caught a shrew and a mouse!” Sparkpaw announced, puffing out her chest with pride.
“Excellent!” Bramblestar exclaimed, giving his daughter a lick around her ears. “And how about you, Alderpaw?”
Alderpaw was silent, looking down at his paws.
The awkward silence stretched out for a few heartbeats. It was Sparkpaw who spoke first.
“Oh, he really listened to his mentor, and he learned all about ThunderClan’s territory.”
But there’s nothing special about that, Alderpaw thought miserably.
“I’m sure Alderpaw will get the hang of hunting,” Molewhisker meowed. “He’s trying hard.”
Alderpaw felt even worse to think that was the best his littermate and his mentor could find to say about him. I just want Bramblestar to be proud of me! With a desperate struggle he managed to raise his head and look at his father, bracing himself to meet disappointment in his gaze.
But Bramblestar’s eyes revealed nothing.
He hesitated for a moment, then gave a little nod. “Cherryfall and Molewhisker, you and Sparkpaw take the prey to the fresh-kill pile,” he directed. “I’m sure you’re hungry. Alderpaw, I want a word with you alone.”
Sparkpaw shot Alderpaw a sympathetic glance as she and the other cats left. Alderpaw stood once more with his head lowered. “Are you angry with me?” he asked Bramblestar in a low voice. “I tried. I really did.” He kept his gaze fixed on the ground; he couldn’t bring himself to look up at his father again.
Bramblestar bent and touched Alderpaw’s head gently with his nose. “I’m sure you tried hard,” he told Alderpaw. “This is only the first day you’ve been out of camp. And I’m proud to hear that you’re paying attention to your mentor and doing your best to learn.”
Alderpaw still couldn’t manage to meet his father’s gaze. He’s just being nice. And I don’t want to look up and see pity in his eyes.
Bramblestar was silent for a few heartbeats.
“Did I ever tell you much about my own apprentice days?” he meowed at last.
“I know Firestar was your mentor,” Alderpaw mumbled, still looking down at his paws. “He must have thought you were pretty great, to mentor you when he was Clan leader.”
Bramblestar sighed. “I think Firestar just wanted to keep a close eye on me. It took him a long time to trust me, because Tigerstar was my father.” His voice had grown tight, as if he didn’t want to think about the evil cat who had fathered him, the cat who had tried to murder his own Clan leader and make himself ruler of the whole forest. “Anyway,” he went on after a moment, sounding more relaxed, “the first time I went hunting with Firestar, I really wanted to impress him. I ran so hard after a squirrel that I slipped on some wet leaves, went nose over paws, and crashed into a tree. Great StarClan, it hurt! And what hurt even more was that I was pretty sure Firestar had to stop himself from laughing.”
“Really?” At last Alderpaw was able to look up without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.
“Did that really happen?”
“It really did,” Bramblestar confirmed. “It was an awful first try at hunting, but I soon got much better, and I’m sure you will too.”
Gazing up into his father’s gentle eyes, Alderpaw felt as though a heavy weight were lifting off his back, and he began to look forward to going out with his mentor again. I will get better, he promised himself. And one day I will be a warrior and make my Clan proud of me!
Chapter 3
The sun had gone down, and the outlines of the forest trees above the stone hollow had begun to fade into the twilight. Alderpaw sat outside the apprentices’ den, giving himself a thorough grooming.
This is a special night. I have to look my best.
He and Sparkpaw had been apprentices for almost a half-moon. Looking back, Alderpaw felt that he hadn’t done too badly. Molewhisker had praised him for being responsible about helping the elders and doing his share of the chores, like collecting moss to make every cat’s nest comfortable, along with all the other tasks apprentices had to do. He had gone out on a border patrol, paid attention to the leader, and done everything he was supposed to.
Even though I haven’t caught any prey yet, I almost caught a bird yesterday, and Molewhisker told me birds are especially hard to catch.
But Alderpaw had to admit that even though he was doing well, Sparkpaw was doing better.
She never came back from hunting empty-pawed, and she seemed to find it so easy to learn battle moves.
But just because she’s brilliant at everything doesn’t mean that I’m awful, Alderpaw told himself, trying hard to believe it.
I wonder what it would be like if I weren’t an apprentice at the same time as Sparkpaw.
Then I wouldn’t have to compare myself with her all the time. But the thought felt disloyal to his littermate, and he thrust it away, his pelt hot with guilt. She’s my sister! Of course I want to be with her!
At that moment Sparkpaw appeared out of the gloom. “Are you ready?” she asked, bouncing on her paws with excitement.
“Bramblestar is gathering the Clan by the thorn tunnel.”
Alderpaw sprang up, pushing away his worries. Anticipation tingled through him from ears to tail-tip. “This is going to be so great!” he meowed. “Our first full-moon Gathering!”
“And we get to be introduced to the other Clans,” Sparkpaw added as she and her brother scampered across the clearing side by side. “I can’t wait!”
Joining the crowd of cats who clustered around the tunnel entrance, Alderpaw wondered what the other Clans would be like. Apart from glimpses across the border when he was on patrol, he’d only seen cats from another Clan once, when he was still a kit and two medicine cats from RiverClan had come to talk to Jayfeather and Leafpool. They had looked just like normal cats, except that their pelts were especially thick and sleek, and they had left a funny, fishy smell behind them. And while they were in the camp, all the ThunderClan cats had been tense, casting sidelong glances at them, with their neck fur bristling.