Roland looks down at the body, a deep crease forming between his brows. I’ve never seen him look so worried.
And yet he is the one who asks me if I’m all right. “You seem quiet,” he adds.
I want to tell him about the Keeper-Killer and the Archive knife, but one has been returned and the other is strapped to my calf beneath my jeans, so instead I ask, “Who would do this?”
He shakes his head. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Don’t you have a file or something on Elling? Maybe there are clues—”
“He is the file, Miss Bishop.”
With that he closes the drawer on Elling and leads me from the reading room back to the stairs.
“I’ll keep looking into this,” he says, pausing at the top of the steps. “But Mackenzie, if a Librarian was responsible for this, it’s possible they were acting alone, defying the Archive. Or it’s possible they had a reason. It’s even possible they were following orders. By investigating these deaths, we’re investigating the Archive itself. And that is a dangerous pursuit. Before we go any further, you need to understand the risks.”
There’s a long pause, and I can see Roland searching for words. “Altering is used in the Outer to eliminate witnesses. But it’s also used on members of the Archive if they choose to leave service…or if they’re deemed unfit.”
My heart lurches in my chest. I’m sure the shock is written on my face. “You mean to tell me that if I lose my job, I lose my life?”
He won’t look at me. “Any memories pertaining to the Archive and any work done on its behalf—”
“That is my life, Roland. Why wasn’t I told?” My voice gets louder, echoing in the stairs, and Roland’s eyes narrow.
“Would it have changed your mind?” he asks quietly.
I hesitate. “No.”
“Well, it would change some people’s minds. Numbers in the Archive are thin as it is. We cannot afford to lose more.”
“So you lie?”
He manages a sad smile. “An omission is not the same thing as a lie, Miss Bishop. It’s a manipulation. You as a Keeper should know the varying degrees of falsehood.”
I clench my fists. “Are you trying to make a joke about this? Because I don’t find the prospect of being erased, or altered, or whatever the hell you want to call it very funny.”
My trial plays back like a reel in my head.
If she proves herself unfit in any way, she will forfeit the position.
And if she proves unfit, you, Roland, will remove her yourself.
Would he really do that to me, carve the Keeper out of me, strip away my memories of this world, of this life, of Da? What would be left?
And then, as if he can read my thoughts, Roland says, “I’d never let it happen. You have my word.”
I want to believe him, but he’s not the only Librarian here. “What about Patrick?” I ask. “He’s always threatening to report me. And he mentioned someone named Agatha. Who is she, Roland?”
“She’s an…assessor. She determines if a member of the Archive is fit.” Before I can open my mouth, he adds, “She won’t be a problem. I promise. And I can handle Patrick.”
I run my fingers through my hair, dazed. “Aren’t you breaking a rule just by telling me this?”
Roland sighs. “We are breaking a great many rules right now. That’s the point. And you need to grasp that before this goes any further. You can still walk away.”
But I won’t. And he knows it.
“I’m glad you told me.” I’m not, not at all, I’m still reeling; but I have to focus. I have my job, and I have my mind, and I have a mystery to solve.
“But what about Librarians?” I ask as we descend the steps. “You talk about retiring. About what you’ll do when you’re done serving. But you won’t even remember. You’ll just be a man full of holes.”
“Librarians are exempt,” he says when he reaches the base of the steps, but there’s something hollow in his voice. “When we retire, we get to keep our memories. Call it a reward.” He tries to smile and doesn’t quite manage it. “Even more reason for you to work hard and move up those ranks, Miss Bishop. Now, if you’re certain—”
“I am.”
We head down the corridor back to the atrium.
“So what now?” I ask softly as we pass a QUIET PLEASE sign on the end of a line of stacks.
“You’re going to do your job. I’m going to keep looking—”
“Then I’ll keep looking, too. You look here, and I’ll look in the Outer—”
“Mackenzie—”
“Between the two of us we’ll find out who’s—”
The sound of footsteps stops me midsentence as we round a set of stacks and nearly collide with Lisa and Carmen. A third Librarian, the one with the red braid, is walking a few steps behind them, but when we all pull up short, she continues on.
“Back so soon, Miss Bishop?” asks Lisa, but the question lacks Patrick’s scorn.
“Hello, Roland,” says Carmen, and then, warming when she sees me, “Hello, Mackenzie.” Her sun-blond hair is pulled back, and once again I’m struck by how young she looks. I know that age is an illusion here, that she’s older now than she was when she arrived, even if it doesn’t show, but I still don’t get it. I can see why some of the older Librarians choose the safety of this world over the constant danger of Keeper or Crew. But why would she?
“Hello, Carmen,” says Roland, smiling stiffly. “I was just explaining to Miss Bishop”—he accentuates the formality—“how the different sections work.” He reaches out and touches the name card on the nearest shelf. “White stacks, red stacks, black stacks. That sort of thing.”
The placards are color-coded—white cards for ordinary Histories, red for those who’ve woken, black for those who’ve made it to the Outer—but I’ve only ever seen white stacks. The red and black are kept separately, deep within the branch, where the quiet is thick. I’ve known about the color system for a full two years, but I simply nod.
“Stay out of seven, three, five,” says Lisa. As if on cue, there’s a low sound, like far-off thunder, and she cringes. “We’re having a slight technical difficulty.”
Roland frowns but doesn’t question. “I was just leading Miss Bishop back to the desk.”
The two women nod and walk on. Roland and I return to the front desk in silence. Patrick glances back through the doors and sees us coming, and gathers up his things.
“Thank you,” says Roland, “for standing in.”
“I even left your music going.”
“How kind of you,” Roland says, managing a shadow of his usual charm. He takes a seat at the desk as Patrick strides off, a folder tucked under his arm. I head for the Archive door.
“Miss Bishop.”
I look back at Roland. “Yes?”
“Don’t tell anyone,” he says.
I nod.
“And please,” he adds, “be careful.”
I force a smile. “Always.”
I step into the Narrows, shivering despite the warm air. I haven’t hunted since the incident with Hooper and Owen, and I feel stiff, more on edge than usual. It’s not just the hunt that has me coiled, it’s also the new fear of failing the Archive, of being found unfit. And at the same time, the fear of not being able to leave. I wish Roland had never told me.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
My chest tightens, and I force myself to take a long, steadying breath. The Narrows is enough to make me claustrophobic on a good day, and I can’t afford to be distracted like this right now, so I resolve to put it out of my mind and focus on clearing my list and keeping my job. I’m about to bring my hands to the wall when something stops me.
Sounds—the stretched-out, far-off kind—drift through the halls, and I close my eyes, trying to break them down. Too abstract to be words; the tones dissolve into a breeze, a thrum, a…melody?