“It didn’t sound like nothing, what else is there?”
“I am not ready to share everything yet, not until I know your purposes better… not until I am sure you can survive,” she stated bluntly.
“I thought you acted according to my will,” I inquired, “How can a simulacrum be stubborn… or cautious?”
“Some things we are driven to protect so strongly that the desire can survive even this…,” she gestured at her earthen form, sweeping her arms delicately downward.
I had the feeling I wasn’t going to get anywhere trying to pry an answer from her at this point so I mentally shelved the question for later. A larger question loomed before me, “You said others had been ‘lost’ like you were… how did you wind up like this? More importantly could this happen to me?”
She smiled again, “A good question… and part of the reason I was created. It involves the fundamental difference between wizardry and what an archmage does. A mage uses his own power to effect change in the world around him, just as a normal man might use the strength of his arm and an axe to fell a tree. A mage wields his power and causes things to happen, in contrast, an archmage listens to the world.”
“That doesn’t sound very useful, or powerful. The histories say you defeated a dark god, surely you didn’t do that by ‘listening’,” I insisted.
“Correct, I didn’t crush Balinthor by just listening, and that is why I became as I am now. I sought power beyond human comprehension, the power of the earth entire, and I gained it,” she stopped there.
“I’m confused,” I admitted.
She stared intently at me and I found myself fascinated with the light glinting from the deep sapphires that served as her ‘eyes’. Finally she opened her mouth to speak again, “An archmage does not wield power, Mordecai. An archmage becomes that which they seek to wield.”
Chapter 5
Moira Centyr, or rather the creature I called Moira, watched me for a long moment, waiting for her words to sink in. I blinked several times as my own experiences over the past year shifted within my mind, reorganizing in light of what she had just told me. Several things clicked into place as I looked back, and my memory of the voice of the wind and the sensation I had had… of losing my ‘self’… stood out clearly in my mind.
Just a few days ago I had nearly taken to the skies… just to track a man a few miles further than my regular senses would follow. What if I hadn’t come back? What if Ariadne hadn’t gotten my attention? Would I have become a zephyr? A part of the wind… lost forever between the clouds, with no memory of my prior life? The implications were startling.
“Could that happen with the wind?” I asked her suddenly.
“An archmage can become anything,” she replied, “It is both a blessing and a curse… a strength and a weakness.”
“I think it nearly happened to me the other day,” I added.
“I am not surprised,” she said.
“Why?”
“You are particularly sensitive, in my time you would have been guarded carefully by a meillte,” she said. The word meillte was familiar to me already, it being the Lycian word for ‘watcher’.
“What did these ‘meillte’ do?” I asked.
“Their job was to make sure an archmage did not go too far. Most of them were mages of limited ability. If the one they were watching became lost they could speak to them directly, mind to mind, to try and draw them back to the world of men,” she explained.
“Did you have watchers? And if so… why didn’t they bring you back?” Even before I said it I wondered if the question might be too sensitive, but I had to ask anyway.
“I did, but some things cannot be undone. I knew the price and I made my choice, which is why I tried to preserve my knowledge for the future, before I lost myself.” She answered plainly, and if the question bothered her she gave no sign of it.
“You say I am ‘sensitive’, what does that have to do with it?”
“Everything… sensitivity is the way we used to look for possible talents in this regard. In general, once a young mage first showed his power he would be watched carefully. After a year we would test his sensitivity, primarily by checking the range of his mage-sight,” Moira said.
“Does that range or sensitivity give an indication of a mage’s power?”
“Not really. Many powerful wizards were too lacking in sensitivity to become archmages… most of them in fact. Conversely, some archmages were fairly mediocre in terms of pure wizardry. I myself was only considered a ‘moderate’ when my personal power was tested, but my sensitivity was very high. I was closely watched from the time my power first manifested until the time I chose to surrender my life in the attempt to stop Balinthor.” She said this with a certain amount of pride.
Needless to say the conversation had taken a fascinating turn for me. I had read about things such as ‘emittance’ and ‘capacitance’ being used to characterize the differences between wizards and channelers, stoics and prophets… but what Moira was discussing was more particular to my own situation. “How did you measure sensitivity?” I asked her directly.
“The most common test was to see how far away a mage could sense a particular object or person. Anything over five hundred yards was considered ‘very sensitive’. Individuals that tested in that range would be watched carefully to make sure they did no harm to themselves before they could learn to control their abilities. Those judged to be extremely sensitive would be watched throughout their lives… to ensure their own safety.”
“Was that really for their safety, or the safety of others?” I questioned pointedly. I was a bit sore on the topic of not being trusted purely because of one’s magical ability.
“For their own safety… most archmages that go too far do not endanger anyone, they merely lose themselves.”
“What is that like?”
The elemental being stared into me with penetrating eyes, “I was created before my namesake joined the earth completely, so I don’t know, but I have her memories of near ‘misses’ during her life before that day. Becoming something like the earth, or the wind, is too far beyond human experience for it to make sense anyway. Everything you know, everything you are, would be erased, replaced by a vast uncaring reality. There would be no ‘memory’ of such a thing; memory itself ceases to have meaning when discussing something such as the ‘earth’ or ‘wind’.”
“This ability sounds almost useless,” I commented.
“That is because we have only discussed the dangers. There are many advantages you have not discovered yet,” she informed me.
“And what are those?”
“Before we get that far… you’ll need to share some information with me. How far away can you sense a specific individual?” As she asked I could feel the focus of her beautiful gem-like eyes boring into my own. She seemed particularly intent on this question.
“How far were you able to sense a person?” I retorted.
“Nearly a thousand yards,” she replied instantly. “Don’t avoid the question. I need to know, to assess what you will be capable of learning.”
“Fine,” I replied. “I can sense a specific person out to a distance of a little over half a mile, probably over eight or nine hundred yards,” I lied. The truth was I could sense someone at twice that distance, now that the bond had been broken. I wasn’t sure what that might mean in terms of my abilities, but I wasn’t about to give the information away without being sure of the motives of the person that wanted to know.
“I suspected as much. Even in my day that was exceptional, especially for an Illeniel,” she remarked.
That smacked of an insult. “What does that mean?” I demanded.
She laughed. “Despite their historical honor as the first ‘great’ line of wizards the Illeniels did not produce many archmages. The Illeniel lineage was renowned for producing powerful wizards but not many of them were exceptional in terms of sensitivity.
Our conversation had begun to fill me with a frustrated energy. To work some of it off I stood and began to pace, hoping to relax my body. I was relieved to finally be getting some answers, but I wasn’t sure I liked what they implied. Finally I spoke again, “I still don’t really understand why ‘sensitivity’ is important for archmages.”