He didn’t move to follow me but before I left the hall he shouted after me, “What are you planning to do?”
I didn’t reply, at least no loudly enough for him to hear. I muttered my response quietly to myself instead, “I’m just going to ask some questions.” And find out who is behind the murder of my wife and unborn child, I added mentally. A cold stillness had swallowed my heart, leaving only an icy anger mixed with determination. “Then I’ll start burning parts off of him… but not too quickly. I wouldn’t want to rush things after all.” I smiled.
As I passed through the corridors heading for the stairs that would lead me down to the dungeon my mother and Genevieve found me. They were the last people I wanted to see so I ignored them and with a word I blocked the hall with a shield of invisible force. My sanity was mostly gone but I still didn’t want them to see what would happen below. Better they should stay up here, I thought to myself.
I was almost to the stairs now and as I walked a quiet part of myself watched in detachment. If Marc or Rose were here they might have been able to calm me down, but they were much too far away to help. Penny would have been even better, and that thought made my stomach tighten. Inside all I could feel was an icy knot of pain, but my mind held nothing but images of flames.
I turned a corner and found Ariadne standing before the door leading to the dungeon stairs. “Mordecai I need to talk to you.”
“Please move,” I said flatly.
“I have to talk to you,” she said with a look of determination, gone was the girl frightened of her father I had seen earlier. Idly I wondered when she had become a woman; it seemed just a day ago she had been Marc’s annoying little sister. The part of me that was doing the wondering wasn’t in charge though; I didn’t have any room for indulging my nostalgia… not anymore.
I already knew she was wearing one of the necklaces I had made so I didn’t bother trying to put her to sleep. I didn’t want to hurt her but my patience was extremely short on supply. “Borok Ingak,” I said, blowing the door behind her apart with a precision I had lacked a year ago. The sudden loss of support behind her caused her to stumble backward and she might have fallen down the stairs but I had already stepped forward to catch her by the hand. “Careful, Marc would never forgive me if I accidentally hurt you,” I said softly as I pulled her away from the doorframe.
The frightened look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Something in my tone had already given away my secret. I had gone feral; worse, I was consumed by the desire to commit murder. “Mort you have to listen to me!” she cried as I pushed her back and used a shield to seal the doorway between us.
I turned my back on her and began descending the stairs. The quiet part of me observed that the darkened stairwell might well be a metaphor for my own spiritual descent into darkness. “You don’t want to see this Ariadne,” I said as I went. I didn’t particularly worry about whether she heard me or not.
“Penny left you a note! Did you see it?!” she yelled at my back. Her words were muffled slightly by the screen of force blocking her way, but I heard them nonetheless. My feet stopped of their own accord.
“What?” I turned back in annoyance. The poor girl, beautiful as she was, was in tears.
“She left a note for you. Joe McDaniel was supposed to give it to you.”
My anger made room for a bit of ordinary irritation. “I can read it later, nothing is going to change my mind at this point.”
I started to turn away again but she screamed at me, “She had a vision! She wanted you to read it before you did anything else… she knew Mordecai! She knew!”
My cold rage was becoming a rather more normal hot anger, “Just tell me what it said damnitt!” I removed the shield from the doorway and walked back up to her. I wanted nothing more than to finish our conversation so I could go down and take care of my unfinished business. My hands were itching with impatience.
“I don’t know!” she said desperately. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me, but she wanted you to read it. She knew what was about to happen and she said only you should see the note.
For the first time since I had resolved to slowly torture the man held below to death, I truly paused to think. If she knew then she must have had a plan, I thought. That might mean she isn’t dead, but for some reason didn’t want anyone to realize that fact. That meant her note might have been left to prevent me from making a mistake, based on that assumption. There really wasn’t any way to second guess her without reading it first.
I looked at Marc’s sister. She was a wreck. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were swollen. I had given her quite a fright. Still my heart was not capable of much compassion, not yet anyway. Mechanically I embraced her, “I’m sorry for scaring you.” Then I pushed her away and headed for the teleportation circles. I needed to see Joe. “Tell your father I’ll pay the bill for the door,” I said absently as I went.
At first she didn’t answer but as I passed from her view I heard her mutter behind me, “Nobody cares about the damn door, least of all Father. We just want you to stay sane Mordecai.” She probably thought I hadn’t heard her, not that it mattered.
I found Joe pacing outside the building housing the teleportation circles in Castle Cameron. His eyes lit on me emerging from the double doors with obvious relief. “Thank the gods you came back!”
I gave him a grim stare. “You know better than to praise the gods in front of me Joe.”
His face registered shock at my tone, “It’s just an expression of habit…”
“Well change it. Where’s the note she sent you?” I said bluntly.
“Ya know I’ve spent most of every day waiting out here for you to return and sure enough you show up when I’m in the privies…” he said nervously. His slightly foreign accent became more pronounced when he was anxious. Reaching into his jacket he withdrew a sealed envelope.
I took it from him and began walking. He fell in beside me. “I’ll take lunch in my rooms,” I told him.
“Pardon ser?”
“I’ll be in my rooms for a while, thinking.” I held up the envelope and waved it at him. “I’m sure I’ll have a lot to think about. Make sure I’m not disturbed, except for some food and wine.”
“Of course your Lordship,” he said and when we entered the keep proper he headed in the direction of the kitchens to relay my instructions to the cook. As he walked away I felt a twinge of guilt for my abrupt behavior. Joe was a friend, and I had rarely treated him roughly. Hopefully he would understand later.
Pushing that thought aside I mounted the stairs leading up to the apartments I had until recently shared with my wife. That thought made me clench my teeth anew.
Once I had closed the door behind me I carefully opened the envelope Joe had given me. It was still sealed with the bit of wax she had carefully pressed onto it. The impression in the wax showed the delicate seal of a woman’s ring, small and bearing the Cameron arms. I held my breath as I pulled it loose and looked at the contents.
My Love,
I know how frustrated and angry you are, for I have seen the events that have led you to this moment. What I do not know is how you will react to these words. My hope is that you will take my advice and do what is best for everyone. The vision I saw was one in which you did not receive this, and I did not like what I saw. You must not let your anger blind you, if you do so, you will damn us all, starting with yourself.
The man I know, the man I love, is given to compassion. Do not let this break your spirit. I have seen what will happen if you pay heed to your darker impulses. It is a bleak and empty path, and you will no longer be the man I have loved. There is still hope if you do not despair. I cannot say more than that.