I must apologize for the deplorable lack of information here. I cannot tell you most of what I have seen, lest it change things even further beyond what I have seen. You will have to trust me yet again. I will say that I had no intimation of any of this until you left us in Lancaster. That was probably for the best, for I doubt I could have kept it a secret if I had known. You would have seen through my acting and drawn the secret from me, possibly dooming everyone.
Here is the important part, the part that might change the future for the better. Do not let your anger rule you. The wizard in Lancaster’s dungeon is not your enemy. His surname is Prathion, and if you will open your heart he may be your greatest ally. Ask him who healed Miriam; his answer should help you understand.
Do not seek vengeance with the king. That may come later. Your answers lie with the shiggreth for now.
That is it. I can say no more, nor can I offer you any consolation. Do not let grief warp your heart and soul. You are not the first, nor the last to suffer a tragedy, but your actions from this day onward could do much to reduce the number of people that lose their loved ones. Do not lose hope. Show the world the kind heart that I have always loved.
Love,
Penelope
P.S. If you ignore my advice I will make you regret it for the rest of this life and into the next one, if there is such a thing, and I’m not joking.
The last line made me smile through my tears. “Your handwriting is still simply awful my dear,” I said to myself with a chuckle that turned into a choked sob. Taking hold of myself I drew a deep breath and carefully refolded the sheet of paper and set it aside on my writing table. I didn’t want it marred or damaged by a thoughtless accident or poor judgment on my part. Once I had it safely tucked away I slowly collapsed on the floor. I lay there for a long time and my sorrow threatened to drown my reason, but I didn’t let it. That’s not what she wanted, I thought to myself.
What she would want me to do is think, and think carefully, I mentally reminded myself. “I cannot promise you I will retain my kindness and compassion,” I said, speaking as if to her directly. “But I won’t let anger control me, I will be cold and clever, like a viper, until I have gotten my vengeance. Justice can be damned, I will make those responsible pay.” I clenched my jaw as I said the words.
I lay there on the floor for some time, until a servant knocked, delivering the meal I had asked for earlier. I opened the door calm and composed, with little trace of the turmoil inside remaining on my features. After I had eaten I spent the rest of the day thinking. My next steps would be made carefully lest I give away my intentions to my enemies.
That evening I took out the silver stylus I had found and began working on an item I thought might prove useful. It took several attempts before I got the rune structure properly balanced, but luckily I was able to test my device upon myself to ensure it worked properly. The final adjustments were trickier, since I had to be careful not to accidentally trigger it and possibly injure myself. I did that part while using the strongest shield I could create, but I still wasn’t certain it would protect me at such a close range if I made a mistake.
By the time midnight had arrived I had finished and I felt my plans were as complete as I could make them. I decided to put myself to bed.
I had taken to approaching each step with methodical carefulness, as if it was a ritual. I did the same with retiring. I washed up and removed my dirty outerwear, taking care to neglect nothing. It almost felt as if I had a duty to Penny to properly manage the mundane tasks of life. She would have wanted me to take care of myself. Still, it took me a half-bottle of wine before sleep would claim me, and my dreams were far from restful.
Chapter 27
I returned to Lancaster bright and early the next morning. I had taken particular care with my grooming and when I appeared every hair was in place. My beard and mustache were carefully trimmed and my clothing was immaculate. Again, I felt it was something Penny would have wanted, though upon further consideration it might have been a symptom of the effort I was taking to control the emotions within myself.
James met me soon after I had entered. He appraised my appearance with one look and I saw a look of approval in his eyes. “You look better today Mordecai.”
“Indeed your Grace, I am much improved. I hope you can forgive my behavior yesterday, I was distraught,” I told him in overly formal tones.
“No need to be so serious, we’re family after all,” he told me. In point of fact his wife was my aunt, a fact I had learned only two years previously.
“The formality is perhaps part of my way of coping, sir. I hope you’ll understand, but I cannot afford to be too loose with my emotions right now,” I replied.
“Are you referring to the ‘earthquake’ we had yesterday?”
William must have seen more than I had thought and of course he had spoken with his master. Of course I couldn’t have reasonably expected them not to connect the dots even without William’s account. “I got a bit carried away. The worst is over now, please don’t worry. I won’t let something like that happen again,” I reassured him.
James’ eyes crinkled into an expression of sympathy. “There’s more to come lad, you know that from your father’s passing. It never really goes away.”
“How has Lady Thornbear taken it?” I asked suddenly. I felt a bit selfish for not having thought of her before; she had lost her only son after all. I was not the only one suffering.
I could see the duke’s jaw clench, “She has dealt with it admirably, like all those of her lineage. Still it has been hard on her, having just lost Gram two years ago, and now her son as well. She has kept to her quarters for the most part, though Genevieve and your mother have visited her frequently.”
I nodded, for I didn’t know what to say. We walked on toward the hall and James asked if I had eaten. I hadn’t and so we took breakfast together that morning in his sunroom. Somehow he kept everyone else away, though I’m sure they all wanted to see me. My mother in particular certainly, but I wasn’t really ready to deal with her emotions. My own were almost more than I could stand.
We didn’t talk too much as we ate, but eventually I brought up my main reason for showing up so early that morning. “I’m ready to talk to the wizard now,” I said without preamble.
James set his plate aside. “You nearly frightened poor Ariadne to death yesterday.”
“I need to apologize for that, and to thank her. If it hadn’t been for her I might have made a serious mistake,” I replied. “I’d also like to pay for the damage to your door.”
He waved his hands in a dismissive motion, “Don’t worry about it, we’ve been through too much to squabble over doors. I’m curious as to what Ariadne might have said to you though, you’ve calmed down considerably since yesterday.”
I looked down in embarrassment, “She simply reminded me of things Penny had said before, and what she would think of what I was planning to do.” I told him the truth, but it was in a roundabout manner, neglecting entirely the fact that the information had come from one of Penny’s visions.
We talked for perhaps another quarter of an hour before I excused myself and went to find my mother. There wasn’t much use delaying the inevitable. I found her sitting alone in the room Genevieve had given her. I didn’t fail to notice it was located directly next to the duke’s own suite, or that there were two guards posted outside it.
The guards stepped aside without a word as I approached, both of them knew me. I knocked on the door. I already knew Miriam was inside, and awake, but I didn’t want to startle her. “Yes?” came her voice a moment later.
“It’s me Mother, may I come in?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said drawing the bolt and pulling the door back. “I wondered if you would show up today.”