‘You’re a big girl, Ida. You don’t need anyone’s consent.’
‘You’re vile. You know I need it! You’re abandoning me by doing this, you’re letting me know that I’ll lose you. It’s either you or Mattia, isn’t it?’
Ida was right, and being right made her bearing solemn, her face intent, unafraid of her decision. Or is it the moon that makes her seem so tall and beautiful? I must stall for time against that sudden beauty that pains me.
‘You’re right. It’s just that I’m upset because I have to leave soon.’
What am I saying? Where must I go?
‘Leave? Where are you going? You’re frightening me, Zia.’
‘Well, I’m frightened too, Ida. Be patient, at least until tomorrow.’
‘Zia, are you ill, maybe, and haven’t told us?’
‘No, no, I’m in very good health.’
‘Oh, thank goodness! What with everything that’s happened!’
‘There now, go to bed. Let’s wait till tomorrow. Please, Ida. Tomorrow we’ll talk it all over.’
The moon must have hidden itself, because darkness has fallen over the spot where Ida’s slender body stood, perfectly sculpted by her white tunic. The absolute darkness announces the diaphanous spectre of the coming dawn. I can’t get to sleep, partly because now that the house is sleeping, the noise I thought I had dreamt the night before starts lapping against my closed window again. The muffled sound of giant paws raking the distant sand: one, two, three long scrapes, then a silence quickly followed by a deep rumbling (the waves or an engine?). From the window that rumble now moves to the door, crashing into it forcefully, or is it still the paw that resumes its scraping in the distance, hidden in some cove along the beach? No, I’m not dreaming, the door is thrown open and two silent giants enter, followed by a tall, slim young woman, perfectly sculpted by an opulent dressing gown of white silk. Her mother, too, always wore white.
79
They’re not so tall now that they’re standing beside me. It’s the uniform that makes their legs seem longer and the epaulettes that create those enormous shoulders. Leaning on someone’s arm as I climb into the big black car, I feel the muscles of a man, yes, but someone like Mattia, like ’Ntoni, not giants. It’s the specially fitted uniform that makes those chest muscles, those back muscles, look huge. I turn away to the window opposite me so I won’t have to hear Mela crying in Jacopo’s arms, or see the terrified, blank stare in Ida’s eyes. It’s been many years since I’ve gone outside at dawn and maybe this is a chance to find out who’s been digging in the sand the past two or three nights … There, once we turn the corner, massive German trucks are parked along the road, loaded with sand, their engines running, while among the dunes huge bulldozers descend to dig up the ‘sun’s flour’; that’s what Tuzzu used to call the sand. Are the Germans stealing our sand … to make fortifications?
‘Could I have a cigarette?’
‘Of course, Princess.’
I need to smoke, but only so I won’t smell the scent of lavender on those impeccably shaved cheeks. I wonder why I waited so long to savour the fragrant smoke that envelops the foreign faces in a serene fog and focuses the mind. The leisurely act of bringing that little white cylinder to your mouth soothes your nerves, and you can distract yourself by following the tiny blaze as it unhurriedly approaches your lips. Joyce was right when she would carefully, almost reverently, pull her treasure out of its case. But hers weren’t white and blond like these; they were dark tobacco, wrapped in yellow paper.
‘Another cigarette, Princess? But of course, of course, I’ll leave you the whole pack.’
The big black car has stopped in front of the entrance to the Prefecture. The journey is over. It must be Sunday if so many black pleated skirts, two by two, crowd the sidewalks. ‘The Duce has liberated us from corsets and cumbersome clothing. He wants us limber, in low heels, our stride brisk to serve the country.’
We have to wait for them all to troop by before we can go inside.
* * *
‘It’s a disgrace, Princess, an outrage!’
If Pasquale the traitor hasn’t called me by name, there’s a reason for it and I have to listen to him. By using that title, he is advising me to be regal. I had forgotten that I was a princess and this armchair in the Prefecture is very comfortable. My head is heavy, but I dispel my drowsiness, and straighten my shoulders. I must not have smiled until now, because when my lips part in a condescending smile, the two non-uniformed officers stare at me, puzzled.
‘That what I think too, Prefect. And I won’t stoop to ask the reason for the disturbance you are causing me. I have been inconvenienced and affronted!’
Hearing these words, the two officers lean toward one another, whispering. Then the taller of the two murmurs sadly: ‘Orders from above, Princess, but we can assure you that we very much regret it.’
‘Of course, of course. A misunderstanding! I have done everything possible not to cause you any disturbance. A princess in contact with those good-for-nothing communists, just imagine!’
‘Exactly, Pasquale! I may address you informally as I do in private, may I not? It reassures me…’
‘But of course, Princess. I am honoured by your friendship. And I feel it’s important for me to state that I’ve had nothing to do with any of this. Orders came from Berlin to Rome: a misunderstanding, surely!’
‘From Berlin?’
Timur seemed so gentle, but Joyce is right to keep warning me: ‘He’s dangerous, Modesta, dangerous like all the young men of the left who went over to Fascism … They’re the most dangerous, as though they want to cleanse themselves of a shameful past.’
* * *
‘We’re in serious trouble, Modesta, done for!’
‘But they went away, Pasquale.’
‘To telephone, just to phone … We’re finished, damn it! May I ask what you were thinking when you revealed our friendship? If they check into it, they’ll discover who I was.’
‘Exactly! That’s what I wanted.’
‘Some gratitude! But what do you mean? Do you realize that what you did was stupid, plain stupid? If they suspect me, how will I be able to help you?’
‘That’s not true! You’re part of the norm. You were all with us, before. And that, as you well know, won’t harm you in the least. Declaring my friendship with you, on the other hand, means you have no choice but to help me, like it or not.’
‘Shrewd! I would have saved you regardless.’
‘I never believed you, Pasquale, or rather, I believed you kept a foot in both camps as long as it seemed that Fascism might end in five or ten years. But now you’re better off just throwing us all overboard.’
‘Clever, damn you!’
‘I only wanted to take precautions.’
‘Then listen carefully: your situation is a matter that lies outside my jurisdiction. The order to investigate your case came from Berlin. And one of those two came down from Rome purposely for you!’
‘Was it Timur?’
‘Who is Timur? What are you talking about?’
‘Joyce’s brother.’
‘No, Joyce has nothing to do with this, nor does this … what did you say his name was? But who gives a damn! This is all much more serious! They’ve arrested someone in Paris, an informer, a certain Marabbito who claims that over the years you’ve done nothing but finance comrades abroad, act as a spy, and who knows what else!’
‘That’s it? Is that what you’re getting all worked up about? I was afraid…’
‘But it’s enough to throw you in jail for years and years!’
‘Well, I thought it was something worse.’