“We’ve met,” I said, politely smiling at him. “Good morning. How’s Diego?”
Ethan glanced at his hand, frowning when the fingers twitched. “No, you may not fondle her breast. Stop it. No, stop that, too. It’s rude, and there are ladies present.”
No one said anything. My mothers both attended to unpacking the baskets. Holly rolled her eyes and picked up a potion, unstoppering it to take a sniff. Ethan waited until his hand stopped making obscene gestures, then addressed me. “He is a bit angry this morning. He did not have a solid night’s sleep because some idiot woman kept charging into my tent and demanding to know where two mortals were. I know you.”
“We met a few days ago,” I said, wanting to change the subject quickly. I needed time to warn my moms about the two hit men and Death’s agent. “You loaned me your mother’s sword.”
Holly glanced up at that, skewering him with a look. “You what?”
“Ah, yes, that’s right. The Nightingale. You’re one of my soldiers. Holly, which head shot do you favor? I think this one makes me look too serious, but it highlights my cheekbones superbly, don’t you agree?” He held out a couple of large photographs.
“You gave this woman the Nightingale?” Holly’s frown grew when she turned it on me, taking in the sword belted around my waist. She ignored the photos, gesturing toward me. “Don’t you think that was a bit unwise, Ethan?”
“If I thought it was unwise, I wouldn’t have given it to her,” he said quite reasonably. “What do you think, warrior?”
I considered the pictures he showed me. “I like the cheekbones one.”
“You have good taste.” He tossed the pictures onto a massive mahogany table that sat smack-dab in the center of the tent. “Now then, who are these ladies?”
Holly, who had been watching me with suspicious, narrowed eyes, stopped that in order to give him a long-suffering look. “They are the witches I told you about two days ago, Ethan. The ones who are making magic for us to use to defeat Aaron.”
“Ah, yes, that’s right. I remember now. You will make an excellent addition to a future chapter,” he told my moms.
They beamed at him.
“I want to get to the bottom of you giving away valuable swords—” Holly started to say, but didn’t finish the sentence. At that moment there was a brief struggle at the door, and two large men entered, blocking out all of the morning light.
“There now!” the biggest of them said, catching sight of me. “I thought I might find you hereabouts.”
“Hello, Irv,” I said wearily, one hand easing the hilt of the sword out of its scabbard. “I thought you were being held by Aaron’s guards?”
“Aye, and that we were, but Frankie here, he got an idea.” He looked proudly at his friend, who responded with a deprecatory gesture and a modest expression.
“I know I shouldn’t ask,” I told the room in general. “And yet I’m unable to keep from doing so. What idea was that?”
“Frankie thought we ought to use some of the magic them witches give us.”
“Oh, no, moms, tell me you didn’t . . .”
“That’s right, I did think that, and so we did, and as soon as them soldiers of that other boss got a whiff of the happy juice that we got from those two, they was laughing so hard, they couldn’t stop us if they wanted to. We took care of them while they was rolling around laughing, and then ups and walked right out of the tent they was holding us in.”
“You sure do know your business, all right,” Irv told my mom. She looked pleased with the compliment until she caught my eye.
“Threefold law, Mom,” I told her sternly.
She donned an aggrieved expression. “I don’t know why you cast that at our heads, Gwenny. We are always accountable for our actions and have done no one any harm.”
“Including giving potions to two hit men?” I pointed to the men with my sword. “The potion you gave these two has resulted in the deaths of who knows how many innocent guards. That is doing harm.”
“We did not give them any potion,” Mom Two said indignantly while my mother snorted to herself. “They took it while we weren’t looking. Didn’t you?”
“Liberated it,” Frankie said, scratching his belly. “Boss likes us to call it liberating rather than stealing.”
“Here, this lady’s your mum?” Irv asked, nodding toward my mothers.
“They both are, yes.” I turned to Ethan. “I don’t suppose you’d like to lock these two men up? I can assure you that they are murderous villains and should not be allowed to remain free.”
“Oy!” Frankie said, looking oddly hurt. “None of that, now.”
“These men are working for me,” Holly said, looking up from where she had been writing in a small notebook. She’d been so quiet that for a few minutes I’d forgotten she was in the tent with us.
“Then you share the blame for the death of Aaron’s guards.”
She seemed immune to my cold stare, but my mothers weren’t. They moved together for solidarity, both their faces wary.
“I am responsible for many deaths. A few of that devil’s men are nothing to me. Ethan, I must go have that meeting I mentioned with the guards and warriors. I’ve heard a foul rumor that some of them aren’t fighting as they ought, and clearly I need to lesson a little motivation into them.” She gave me a look that I met with one of absolute innocence. “I will meet you after lunch to discuss the new weaponry.”
“Eh?” Ethan continued to poke at his laptop with one finger.
She shook her head and marched off, her long hair swinging like black and green silk daggers behind her.
“She’s so intense,” Mom told Mom Two.
“She’d be much better for having a cup of dandelion tea each morning,” Mom Two agreed.
“Oooh, I’d kill for a cuppa right about now,” Irv said.
Frankie laughed and elbowed him.
“What?” Irv asked.
“You’d kill for a cuppa.”
“So? I haven’t had any tea this morning.”
“No, you’d kill for a cuppa.” Frankie elbowed him again.
It took Irv a minute to see the irony of it.
“Aha ha ha. That’s right, I would,” he allowed with a chuckle.
“I do not think killing people is funny.” I whipped the sword through the air so that it sang. Both men watched, their merriment fading. “Especially innocent people.”
“What innocent people?” Irv looked at Frankie. Frankie looked at Irv.
“The guards you said you killed in order to escape. Aaron’s men.”
“Who says we orfed those blokes?”
“You did.”
“I did?”
“Yes. You said you took care of the guards while they were incapacitated with my mothers’ laughing potion.”
He waggled his hand in the air while Frankie said, “There’s take care of, and then there’s take care of, if you see what I mean. Now, I’m not saying we didn’t tie them up, but Irv here, he pointed out that since this is heaven and all, the folks here was already dead, so there’s no use in trying to kill them when they can’t die again.”
“That’s right,” Irv agreed. “It’s been our experience that once you’re dead, you won’t be coming back to life any time soon.”
I shot a potent look at my mother when she opened her mouth to correct the two mortal men’s false assumption. “I’m glad to hear you’ve given up your propensity to violence. There’s no reason to go about killing anyone—or rather, trying to—when a simple conversation will clear things up.”
“What conversation would that be?” Irv asked, looking confused.