“I did,” she nodded. “It’s in a place only he’d think to look. When he finds it, he’ll know it’s from me.”
“So it’s only a matter of time before he follows you to the Bengals.”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to the Bengals?”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll make a decision after we reach the refueling depot. After that…”
“What?” he said.
“Can you stay awhile, Keo? I know it’s asking a lot, after everything you’ve already done. But I have to ask anyway. Not for me, for the others. Can you stay a little longer?”
He knew it was coming, and he was fully prepared to tell her no. But standing there next to her, hearing the desperation in her voice and knowing this was the last thing she wanted to ask him, he couldn’t pull the trigger.
Christ, you’ve gotten soft.
Like a big ol marshmallow…
“How long?” he asked.
“As long as you can.”
He sighed. “Hell, why not. I’ve already invested a lot of time keeping you guys alive, wouldn’t want all my efforts to go to waste now.” He nodded. “I can stick around until the Ranger’s back on his feet.”
“That might take a while.”
“Then I guess it’ll take a while.”
“What about Gillian?”
“She’ll understand. Probably.”
“Thank you, Keo.”
“Sure.”
He looked out at the Gulf of Mexico churning against the Trident’s propellers. It would be a few more hours yet until sunrise, though for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the internal conflict of watching darkness staring back at him.
Beside him, Lara was quiet for a long time before she finally said, “When you jumped into the lake, did you see what happened to the creatures?”
“They sank.”
“Yeah.”
“Silver, bodies of water, and…what was the third thing?”
“Ultraviolet light. But we haven’t been able to replicate what happened back at Starch.”
“Maybe you should go back there.”
She nodded. “One of these days. Right now, the lives of everyone on this boat is more important.”
She did a marvelous job of hiding it, but Keo could hear it in her voice and see it in the way she leaned against the railing. She was tired. Dead on her feet.
He knew how she felt; it had been months since he could say he was sufficiently rested. He hadn’t gotten any at the island, which was supposed to be safe. But out here, on this boat, maybe he could finally get a full night’s sleep.
“Why?” she said.
“Why?” he repeated.
“Why?”
“What’s the question?”
She gave him a knowing look, and he smiled back.
“You needed my help,” he said, and shrugged, hoping she’d let it go.
“We did,” she said. “We still do. In the worst way. But you didn’t have to do any of it. You don’t have to do it now. So why?”
“I’ve done things…” He hesitated, turning the words over, searching for the right ones. Or at least, the least objectionable ones. “I have a lot of blood on my hands, Lara. A lot. You have no idea.”
She didn’t interrupt and just listened.
“I didn’t use to do what I did for God, country, or apple pie,” he continued. “I wish I could say I was a true believer. Or at least a jingoistic moron. But I can’t.”
He paused again. Why was he even bothering to tell her any of this? What was the point? He guessed maybe he just needed to say them out loud more than he needed her to understand, because he didn’t really think she could understand.
“I have a lot to make up for,” Keo said. “I don’t know. Maybe I figured you and your friends were a good start.”
He stopped talking and waited for her to respond. He was both afraid and longed for it.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You already said that.”
“I don’t think I can ever say it enough.”
I’ll take it, he thought, and said, “You should get those wounds properly dressed. How’d you get shot twice, anyway?”
“I just got shot once. The other wound is shrapnel.”
“Hurts?”
“Everyone’s hurt. Pain lets you know you’re still alive.”
He smirked. “Daebak, Rambette.”
“One of these days you’re going to tell me what that really means.”
“Ask nicely and I might.”
“Deal.” She leaned over and surprised him by kissing him on the cheek. “Go get some rest, Keo. You’ve earned it,” she said, and pushed off the railing and hobbled through the door back into the upper deck lounge.
She moved gingerly, and though he couldn’t see her face, he imagined she was grimacing with every step. She wasn’t trying to hide the pain anymore, he realized, because there was just him around to see her vulnerable. He took that as a compliment and looked back at the ocean.
Or the big black spot where the ocean was supposed to be, anyway.
He thought about his mantra, the three sentences he had been basing his life on for the last ten years.
“See the world. Kill some people. Make some money.”
Not all that much had changed if he really thought about it. He was still seeing the world, still killing people, except no one was paying him to do it anymore. Or, well, not in stacks of green rectangular pieces of paper, anyway. Instead, there were just kisses on the cheek.
He’d take it.
CHAPTER 28
GABY
“Go, get out of here! Get out of here!”
She couldn’t stop thinking about him. The sound of his voice, the way he had screamed the words at her. There was a look on his face: terror, regret, and an absolute certainty that defied logic.
She didn’t know how he had done it, and she still didn’t despite running it over in her head again and again for the hundredth time. Josh had never been the strongest kid; it was one of the reasons they had defaulted to letting Matt call the shots after The Purge. There was no reason why Matt should have been the leader. He wasn’t older by that much and he certainly wasn’t smarter than either one of them. But he was bigger and stronger.
And yet, Josh had pushed the boat with them onboard off the beach by himself.
How? How did you do that, Josh?
She was reminded of all those stories about mothers lifting cars to save their child after an accident. Was that where Josh had summoned his strength? Had he dug deep because he wanted to save…
Her.
She found it difficult to reconcile the Josh in the uniform who had shot Danny (even if he did claim he didn’t know it was Danny) with the one that had ultimately saved her. They were the same man — and yet, so different. It didn’t make any sense, and her inability to understand him — what he was, what he had become, and what he had done at the very end on that stretch of beach — kept Gaby up all night.
After a while, she stopped trying to sleep and lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling. It was quiet outside despite the hum of the yacht’s engine everywhere. Even the gentle waves of the ocean under her didn’t lull her back to sleep.
She finally got up from the floor where she had been trying to sleep with nothing but a pillow and walked across the cabin she was sharing with some of the other girls. Bright lights from outside splashed through the windows and over Bonnie’s and Gwen’s snoring forms. The Trident ran on diesel but also had its own electric generator, which was how they still had lights now.