‘They’ve been round the outside of the building and there’s no sign of life and no car. The others are going up there now. We’ll move up the lane a little too,’ he said, edging the car along behind the other vehicles, stopping after a few hundred metres.
From their new standing place it still wasn’t possible to see the farmhouse, and Nina shivered. This waiting was horrendous. As bad as the day they’d done the last brain function test on Claire, with Nina in the waiting room, knowing what was coming. Today, she didn’t know what the outcome would be, and the dread was mixed with heart-piercing hope. Another ten minutes passed before the next report, and again David Mallony had to translate.
‘No answer at the door and no one in the outhouses. We’re going right up there now but you stay in the car, okay, Nina?’
In a few moments the farmhouse came into view, an old, somewhat ramshackle building with homey tubs of petunias by the front door and cheerful blue and white checked curtains at the downstairs windows. Nina’s brittle hopes plummeted. This place looked a lot more like an elderly couple’s home than a paedophiles’ retreat. The car drove round the house and pulled up by the back door, and Nina saw a policeman jiggle with a window that had been left tilted. In seconds it was wide open and the officer was climbing in.
‘That’s why you should never go out without closing your windows,’ said David, and Nina nodded, her eyes never leaving the window. She jumped in fright when the back door of the house opened and the police officer jogged towards the car, his gloved hand clutching something pink in a plastic evidence bag.
‘It was on the kitchen floor,’ he said, holding up the bag to show a pink and white rubber band bracelet. ‘Is it – ’
Nina’s head was buzzing and she couldn’t see properly. Waves of dizziness were threatening to overcome her. She opened her mouth, but her voice had gone.
‘It’s Naomi’s,’ said Sam. ‘I’ve seen her with it. Nina, put your head down.’
He pushed her head between her knees and the giddiness receded. She scrabbled for the door handle.
‘Nina, stay in the car!’ said David, getting out himself. ‘Wright has a gun, remember? When – if – we want you to come, I’ll get you.’
He disappeared into the farmhouse. Now all the policemen were inside except one who was standing at the corner of the building, and Nina saw with a shock that he was armed. There was the sound of an engine, and the paramedic appeared up the lane and parked on the far side of the car. Nina moaned.
‘Dear God, Sam, is she - ?’
David’s voice. ‘Nina! Come quickly!’ The shout came from within the house, and Nina was out of the car and running, the paramedic close behind her.
Naomi baby, I’m coming, Mummy’s coming, I’m right here…
She crashed through the back door and pulled up short in a large farmhouse kitchen. Which way, which way? The house was silent; it was cold, and seemed deserted – and –
Naomi?
Chapter Thirty-One
Claire’s Story – Glasgow
Something was hissing behind her, but her eyelids were too heavy to open. Panic surged through Claire as she realised she couldn’t move. And her face… something was wrong, her face was broken, tight, something hard was covering her nose – oh God, what was happening? Where was she?
‘Talk to her,’ said a voice. ‘She isn’t deeply unconscious now.’
‘Mum?’
The surge of panic came again as Claire heard the fear in Nina’s voice. It took a monumental effort, but she managed to crack her eyes open. Brightness stabbed into her head but not before she saw the orange curtains hanging round the bed – oh dear Lord, she was in hospital. The thing on her face was an oxygen mask. In a way it was reassuring. They would look after her here, wouldn’t they? Her thoughts drifted into nothing; it was easier.
A bang nearby focussed her mind again. Nina was still there, and she was talking.
‘…and Morag’s looking after Naomi. It’ll be okay, Mum. They’re experts here, it’s a specialist unit so you’re in the best possible place.’
Again and again Claire tried to open her eyes, but they wouldn’t obey her. It was so horrible. She couldn’t see Nina, but that would be Nina’s hand holding hers, wouldn’t it? She tried to squeeze the cold fingers, but her own remained lifeless. She must be really bad; a specialist unit wasn’t going to be on the island. Had they taken her to Glasgow? Oh dear Lord.
Nina was silent again, but Claire could hear her daughter’s uneven breathing; she could sense Nina’s fear. What was going on? Heavier darkness swung into her head, and a shiver ran through her body. She was hurt; she was badly hurt, maybe she was going to die here… No, no, she couldn’t leave her girls. Oh God, she didn’t want to die, please God… But the darkness was all around now.
A new thought struck and Claire’s mind was suddenly clear. Robert. If she died now Robert would get in touch with Nina. What a shock that would be for her girl, to have a long-dead father appear and say – what? What would Robert tell Nina? And what would Nina say, what would she think of Claire for lying to her all these long years? How stupid she’d been; she should have written that letter to Nina, the one to be opened after her death. Nina would never know why her mother had lied about her father’s death. But maybe she could still put that right.
For a long moment she gathered her strength, then at last she managed to open her eyes. Nina was sitting by the bed, eyes closed and her face pale as… as death. Claire feasted her eyes on her girl. All she needed to do was tell Nina that Robert was alive. Nina must have felt her gaze, for she opened her eyes and leaned forward, clutching Claire’s hand.
‘Mum? Is there something you want?’
Thank God, Nina had realised she wanted to speak. Claire opened her mouth but no sound came out. She tried a whisper.
‘I’m sorry. I should have told you.’
‘Don’t worry, Mum, it’s all right. You can tell me later.’
‘Robert.’
But her voice was gone again, swallowed by the hissing of the mask on her face, and Nina didn’t understand. Claire tried again, with the same result.
Nina patted her shoulder.
‘Relax, Mum. Have a rest for now. I’ll go and phone home, tell them you’re awake. Morag’ll be so…’
Claire’s eyes closed again and she felt herself drifting as Nina continued to speak. Dear God, if she went to sleep now she’d never be able to tell Nina about Robert. All at once she knew that was exactly what was going to happen. The darkness was different now… This wasn’t just floating towards sleep, this was… distancing… leaving… listening to the person she loved most in the world, and knowing she would never see Nina again, or Naomi… She should have told Nina right at the start… or at least, when she had grown up… but Nina would forgive her, Nina loved her…
The world was closing in… her world – Edinburgh, and Bedford… and Arran; she was standing at the top of the hill now, the Firth blue and sparkling down below. Nina was running towards her… how terrible to leave with no goodbye…
Chapter Thirty-Two
‘Nina!’
David’s voice came from upstairs, and Nina stumbled through the cluttered kitchen. Her breath hoarse in her ears, she thundered past the ancient coffee machine on the counter, the old-man slippers by the Aga, and upstairs past the trio of framed embroideries on the stair wall. Two policemen at the top motioned her into a room facing the front of the house. Three more strides and Nina gathered Naomi into her arms, feeling the terrible tension in the girl’s body. Naomi was sitting on the double bed, shivering, her eyes wild, but she was alive, thank Christ, she was alive. Sheer, blessed relief flooded through Nina as she rejoiced in every heave of Naomi’s chest as they sat there clutching each other, both trembling. Her baby was here; she was holding her little girl.