Instead, he lived in his stupid comics, believing in super-heroes and the theory that good could triumph over evil.
No one ever triumphed over evil because evil never ended. It was inestimable, coming and going with no predictability, a relentless, driving influence with forces too intimidating to conceive or even consider.
Disgusted with herself. Gaby set the mug aside and crossed her arms over the chair back. "How come you don't date, Mort?"
With his aura shifting and undulating, he glanced up and away. His unshaven chin, patchy in the way of a sixteen-year-old, quivered. "No time. Besides, most girls are bitches."
Or stupid. Or naive. Just like most men.
"So?" Gaby tracked Mort's progress across the floor while he set the table and brought out condiments. Not one for tact, she said, "You could clean up. Get rid of the baggy clothes and nasty hair and—"
"Dig in." He dropped into his own seat and scooped up a large bite of egg. "I threw in some special seasonings. See what you think."
At his expectant look, Gaby turned in her chair, ate several bites, and shrugged. "It's edible."
She'd almost finished the meal when Mort visibly worked up his nerve. "You never date, either."
"No." She spent all her time surviving.
Hesitation throbbed in the air before he asked, "Why?"
"It'd be pointless for me to date."
His expression lifted. "Really? Why?"
Swallowing down the last bite, Gaby shoved back the plate. "I'm… asexual. Uninterested and uninteresting and I sure as hell don't have time for stupid questions today." Or any other day. She pushed her chair away from the table and stood.
"Where are you rushing off to?"
Because he'd never before asked, Gaby stalled. Good God, had turning twenty-one made some miraculous change in her demeanor, somehow led him to believe he could grill her?
Encouraging more than a quick meal could be disastrous—for him. He wouldn't understand. Hell, he wouldn't even believe her. Best to set him straight right off, though she hated to hurt him. He'd had enough hurt in his miserable little life.
Taking one big step, Gaby towered over Mort, holding him in her unflinching gaze until he shifted in discomfort and a touch of fear, pressed back in his chair as if it might absorb him. "Mind your own business, Mort."
Embarrassment and worry flushed his face. Awkwardly, cautiously, he eased his chair from the table and rose to his feet. "I don't mean to pry."
The colors encircling him faded to soft pink and lilac, indicating his compassion… for her?
Fuck that.
Gaby turned and strode away. She didn't need the likes of Mort Vance. She was Gabrielle Cody, God's tool on earth, the hammer that smashed savage monsters without regret, without—
Mort rushed after her. "Gabrielle, I'm sorry. Please. Please, don't go mad."
God, he was so fucking wretched. So alone and weird, and… sad. Some lost kernel of sympathy wormed its way into Gaby's cold, blackened heart. At the apartment door, she turned. "I told you from jump that I don't like questions."
His hands twisted together. "I just… sometimes I worry about you."
Oh hell no. Her feral growl had him backing up a step. "Tell me that's a joke."
He swallowed. "I don't want to see you hurt."
Then he should damn well keep his eyes closed around her because even now the pain boiled inside her, leaving her flesh raw, her insides tortured.
"Fine." She leaned toward him and color leached from his face. "Then quit grilling me, because your nosiness is a real pain in my ass."
He jerked back as if slapped, and Gaby went out without another word. Just as she stepped outside, she heard his door close with a near silent click.
Had she hurt his feelings?
For a single moment, a niggling of guilt squirmed through her. But she had serious work to do with no time for distractions. Forcing Mort from her mind, she went down the three painted concrete steps to the street.
The moment her feet made contact with the blacktop, heat shimmered up her body to cling to her skin without penetrating. Temperatures, both sweltering and frosty, affected her differently than they did normal people. When she had a job to do, she remained impervious.
Cold didn't make her shiver.
Heat didn't deplete her strength.
Her entire being focused on what had to be done, with no room left to consider mundane attributes like the weather.
Already sinking into the zone, Gaby slipped on reflective sunglasses and scanned the area, seeking out the trigger. She wouldn't need her car today. How she knew that, she couldn't explain. She just knew it'd be better not to have it. The old white and rust Ford Falcon wasn't that reliable anyway, whereas her feet had seldom let her down.
Pain pulsed through her veins, driving her forward. As a child, she'd fought the bone-grinding agony, thinking it physical. She used to curl up in her bed and sob, trying to comprehend the inexplicable. She'd been too young to understand the magnetism of what she had to do to make the hurt go away.
When doctors could find nothing wrong with her, the wards had grown disgusted. They showed her no sympathy, and even punished her for refusing to leave the bed. They doubled her chores, hoping to reprimand her out of her hypochondria. She'd grown strong, physically and mentally. She'd isolated herself from others.
But the pain had continued to plague her.
As a teen, she'd met Father Mullond, and from the start he took acute interest in her, as if through her appearance alone, he could see the difference in her. There'd been no one else in her miserable life, only foster homes and dispassionate strangers, so to her, Father became her family: brother, parent, uncle, confidant—he filled every role.
He cared about her.
And he understood her.
Oh sure, some might call what he'd done unethical. The church definitely wouldn't have approved. But like her, Father had accepted that certain things were out of God's hands. He would smile and say that God had singled her out, recognizing her as a paladin. He made it sound almost… special.
He made her sound special, instead of freakish.
Through guidance and care, he'd taught her to cope. To this day, Gaby could still hear his voice coming to her in the darkest moments of her life. "Smile, Gabrielle. He has named you a paragon of chivalry. A heroic champion. It's a gift that comes with great responsibility. You and you alone have the ability to protect the innocent."
Not all innocents, Gaby thought, reminded of those she didn't save. She did what she could, but it was never enough. A hundred paladins wouldn't be enough. But at least she'd had Father on her side.
To reinforce that her ability was right and good, he'd taken the confessions of sinners too evil to inhabit the earth. Together they'd waged a war, and in the process Gaby had learned how to sharpen her skill, to understand the summons, to follow an urge to the rightful conclusion.
She wouldn't die. God wouldn't let her, even during the lowest points of her life when she'd pleaded for death.
The same couldn't be said for Father.
Long before she'd been ready to face the world on her own, he'd been taken from her. Not by the evil so many feared, but a disease just as heinous: cancer.
Never again would she open herself to that depth of emotional devastation. Fighting a league of demons alone was much, much easier than losing a beloved friend.
Drawn into herself, concentrating fiercely on the mental trail, Gaby had traveled nearly two blocks when a wolf whistle split the air, startling her out of the disturbing memories.
Without noticing, she'd come alongside the local bar overflowing with idiots who never went home, or didn't have homes to go to. Given the slums she lived in, lewd comments and sexual harassment were as common as the decayed-brick scenery.