But deep inside, where there should have been anguish, was only a hollow feeling that seemed distant from sorrow.
The car stopped.
“All out that’s getting out,” Nora announced.
“You go on without me,” Abe said. “I’ll change in here.”
Tyler followed Nora out the driver’s door.
“Too bad,” Nora said. “I guess we won’t have the beach to ourselves.”
Two other cars and a van were parked nearby, but Tyler saw no people about. They were probably already down at the ocean. “I’ll wait for Abe,” she said.
“No hurry,” Nora told her. “We can all…”
Jack swatted her rump. “Let’s go,” he said.
The two of them started down a path along the low hillside, holding hands, Nora nodding as he spoke to her.
Tyler stepped to the front of the Mustang. She leaned against its hood, staring at the brown weeds and dusty path, very aware of Abe just behind her, probably watching her through the windshield as he changed into his trunks. She wondered why he hadn’t put them on at the motel, as Jack must’ve done. She heard the quiet clink of his belt buckle. The car moved slightly against her rump, probably in response to Abe rising and settling in the seat as he took down his pants. Thinking about that, she felt a quick stir of excitement that made her guilt worse.
I’m not betraying Dan, she told herself. It was decided before I knew. I can’t help how I feel. I can’t. I’m sorry.
Her hands went quickly down the front of her blouse, flicking open its buttons. She slipped the sleeves down her arms, and draped the blouse across the hood. The sun’s heat and the caressing breeze felt wonderful on her skin, and she could almost feel Abe gazing at her. She wondered if his trunks were on yet. Did the sight of her back, bare except for two thin cords, arouse him? She and Nora, after paying for their bikinis, had used the changing rooms to put them on. She almost wished, now, that she had left hers in its bag. She could’ve stripped naked here in the sunshine and the ocean breeze, with Abe watching in astonishment from the car. It seemed outlandish, but at the moment she felt capable of such actions. Giddy, maybe a little desperate. She could reach back, right now, and pluck the cords and let the top fall away and turn to face him.
He would think she’d gone mad.
Maybe I have gone mad.
Troubled by the urge to remove her top, she went ahead and opened her corduroys. She slid them down her legs, stepped out of them, placed them neatly on the hood without turning far enough to see Abe through the windshield. Then she leaned back again.
Abe was taking a very long time.
Maybe enjoying the show.
I ought to give him a real show.
My God, what’s the matter with me?
Staring down at herself, she even wondered what had possessed her in the store. At home, she had a similar string bikini. She never wore it in public, only in the privacy of her enclosed sundeck. So why had she bought one just like it this morning? And why, even though it covered so little, did she have such a strong desire to pull it off and stand naked in front of Abe and…?
I must be crazy, she thought.
And it must have something to do with finding Dan that way. Something to do with fear and loneliness. Maybe more to do with the feel of the sun and the sea air and the slick fabric on her nipples and the taut press of it on her groin and knowing she was so very much alive like an insult to death.
The sound of the door opening interrupted her thoughts. She turned around and watched Abe step out of the car. He looked sleek and tanned. His boxer trunks were pale blue. He had a bundle of towels clamped under one arm. “That’s quite an outfit,” he said.
“Thanks. I like yours, too.”
He laughed. “Want to leave your clothes here?” He held out a hand. She gave him the blouse and pants. He put them in the car and locked up. He approached without looking at her. A troubled frown had replaced his smile.
“What is it?” Tyler asked.
He shifted the bundle to his right arm, took hold of her hand, and led her toward the path. “I didn’t go back to the motel,” he said. “I stopped in at the police department.”
“The police?”
“I wanted to get the story on Dan. I thought there were…things we should know.”
The tight sick feeling seemed to swell inside Tyler. “And?” she murmured.
“I didn’t find out much. He was murdered there in the house. They don’t know who did it. A sister from Sacramento claimed his body.”
“Roberta. She’s an accountant. She had dinner with us once at Ben Jonson’s. A very nice person.”
Abe let go of her hand. He put an arm around her and eased her close to his side. “I’m awfully sorry about all this.”
“At least…his parents aren’t alive. It would’ve been terrible for them. He wasn’t married?”
“I didn’t ask. I assume he wasn’t, since his sister…”
“Probably not. God, it’s funny. Yesterday, my biggest worry was that he might be married. Then, today, I was so worried that he wouldn’t be. And all the time, he was dead in that house for everyone to gawk at.”
“It’s not him, Tyler.”
“Yeah, I know. I keep telling myself. God, you wouldn’t think they’d be allowed to put someone on display like that.”
“Madame Tussaud’s been doing it for two hundred years.”
“Doesn’t make it right.”
“No,” Abe said, “it doesn’t.”
“It’d probably take a court order to get it out of there.”
The path curved around the slope, and Tyler saw Nora and Jack down at the water’s edge. Combers were rolling in. Off to the side, a woman stood in the surf holding the hand of a toddler. A man was jogging along the shoreline, a black retriever prancing ahead of him. Stretched out on a blanket near the foot of the slope was a young couple embracing. Tyler felt Abe’s hand caressing her side. She took a deep breath of the fresh, tangy air.
“When are you leaving?” she asked.
“There’s no rush.”
“Today? Are you leaving today?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On you.”
She stopped walking. Turning to her, Abe let the towels fall. He looked into her eyes as his hands slid up her arms, cupped her shoulders. “I’ll stay another night,” she said, “if you will.”
He smiled slightly. “Do you think Nora would object?”
“Surely you jest?”
He eased Tyler against him. Gently. One hand stroking her hair, the other light on her back. She hugged him tightly. He was warm and smooth and solid, and she remembered embracing him that morning and the way his hands had felt on her breasts. It seemed like a very long time ago. Dan had been there in the room with them like a chaperon. If I’m going to lose you to this guy, Abe had said, I’d rather not get in any deeper. I want you too much already. The memory of his words made Tyler’s heart pound fast. Guilt swept through her, and she hugged Abe more tightly to ward it off. Though he stroked her hair and back gently, as if intent only upon consoling her, Tyler felt his rising hardness.
Abe stepped back. His smile trembled. “I guess I can stay one more night.”
Tyler nodded. She was a little breathless. “I would like that,” she said.
He looked toward the water, and Tyler’s eyes strayed down to his trunks. The bulge slanted upward, forcing the elastic band slightly away from his waist. “There might be a problem,” he said, and crouched to pick up the towels.
“A problem?”
They walked down the path.
“The owners of the motel seem to be missing. Their car was found abandoned this morning. Nobody seems to know what happened to them.”
“Do you think the motel might close?”
“Maybe there’s someone to keep it running, I don’t know.”