Brother Fingle accepted a fresh bowl of dip and wheat ears from a well-mannered Dibbun. “Here, Father Abbot, get some of this inside you before you content yourself off to sleep; youre starting to nod.
Tarquin produced his harolina, a cherished though slightly battered instrument. He tuned it, plucking the strings lightly, ears close to it. “There, good as the day I first serenaded Rosie and won her bally heart, wot? Righto, line up chaps, two to each corner, maids in the middle, bow to the center. Good, here we go with the mousemole reel!
Blaggut and Slipp found themselves hauled up among whooping and cheering Redwallers as Tarquin raised his voice:
“One, two, let me bow to you,
Away we go from the center through.
Oh there was a mouse in Mossflower,
And he was plump and cheery,
Lived right next to a mole so fair,
A little dark-eyed dearie.
Three, four, Ill tell you more,
Whirl your partner round the floor!
She baked a pie, oh my, oh my,
And said, Ive got no cherries,
Sir mouse when you go out abroad,
Will you bring back some berries?
Five, six, heres a fix,
Curtsy maids and gather sticks!
The mouse roved out into the woods,
And came back heavy laden,
With cherries and ripe fruit to boot,
To give unto the maiden.
Seven, eight, stand and wait,
Clap your paws, its very late!
The mole took up a wooden bowl,
The mouse he grabbed a ladle,
And as they ate that lovely pie,
They danced around the table.
Nine, ten and back to one,
Bow to your partners for the dance is done!
Laughing and panting, the dancers retired breathless to their seats. Blaggut whispered to Slipp, “We goin fer the treasure now, Capn? He was rewarded with a swift kick.
“We aint goin nowheres til I gets me wind back, bladderbrain. Whew, that dancin takes it outta a beast!
Tarquin cleared his throat officiously and took center stage. “Errahem! Father Abbot, Mellus marm, good creatures all, it is my singular honor to open the concert sing-in competition, wot? I have with me the jolly old prize for the winner; it is right here ... somewhere? The hare beckoned hastily to one of his leverets. “You there, thingybob, its under me seat. Bring the blinkin thing here, will you? Ah yes, as I was sayin, I have here with me the winners prize. As you can see, it is a badger drinkin vessel, hmm, chalice in fact, silver mounted, gold lined, with lots of rather jolly stones studded around it, precious gems, Id say. Now, whos goin t be the first to get up an warble off a song? Oh, by the way, we must thank our good chum Mellus for donatin this prize. Cheer for Mellus, thank you!
When the cheering died down, Mellus stood up, a grin of mischief on her broad face. “Thank you one and all. Now, as for the first singer, or singers, I think I have the privilege of choosing them. As is our custom at Redwall, guests first. Mr. Blaggut and Mr. Slipp, would you be so kind as to oblige us?
Willing paws seized the unwilling searats, who were hustled into the center of the circle, where they stood nervously shuffling from paw to paw. Slipp was not amused.
“O no, mates, we aint no singers, searaer, travelers like us aint much good at singin, are we Blaggut?
“I likes singin*, Capn. Couldnt we sing em The Slaughter of the Crew of the Rusty Chain? Thats a good un?
SHpps furious protests withered under Oak Toms stern proclamation, “If youre too shy to sing, theres always the pots to be washed!
That seemed to decide the issue. Taking up searat performing stances, the pair stood straddle-legged with paws clenched above their heads, and began singing in hoarse, off-key voices:
“Whoa, the Capn of the Rusty Chain, Aint feelin much surprise, Es deadern a duck on the ocean floor, While the fish nibble out is eyes. An the crew of the Rusty Chain, Aint feelin too much pain, O ycant wipe yer nose when yer eads chopped off, An theyll never see their tails again ...
There was a pause as they consulted together, arguing over forgotten verses. Some of the gentler Red wallers closed their eyes and covered their ears as the song continued in the same bloodthirsty mode:
“O the boatswains got a spear in is liver, An the mates got a spear through is throat, An theyre usin the fat off an ole searat, To set alight to the boat.
Distressed cries began issuing from some of the Dibbuns, and a dispute arose with Slipp and Blaggut as to the next line.
“Ho theyve gone an skinned the cook ...
Slipp cuffed Blagguts ears soundly. “Puddenbrains, thats not til the next verse. I knows the line, it goes like this ...
“O they carved off the lookouts ears, An stuffed em up is no
“Enough! Stop this bloodthirsty ballad now! They were hauled unceremoniously back to their seats by an irate Mother Mellus as Tarquin called upon the next performer.
“Sorry about that, chaps, bad form, yknow! Sister Sage, I dont suppose youd like to warble us that absolutely splendid ditty about the robin an the cuckoo?
After a bit of persuasion the old Sister got up and began singing. Her voice was loud and clear for one of such great age.
The night wore on as performers came and went: singers, dancers, and those who liked to recite poetry. Blaggut had eaten his fill and quaffed enough cordial to float a small boat. His head nodded fitfully, eyes closing as his chin dropped onto his chest, Slipp tweaked his nose muttering, “Wake yerself up, dozeyguts, were going t get the treasure.
They detached themselves stealthily from the gathering, creeping off into the night. Blaggut cast frightened glances about him as he clung to Slipps tail.
“Couldnt we go back an sit by the fire, Capn? I dont like it out ere in the dark night; the black shadder might get us both!
Slipp whirled on his unfortunate companion. “Buck-etnose! I told yer never tmention that agin. Cummere!
“Eeeyoowcheeyee!
“Stop squealin, you limpet eaded oaf!
“I cant elp it, Capn. Yore bitin me ear. Yeek!
The mousebabe and Furrtil sat proudly with the cup between them. Saxtus looked inquiringly at Mellus. “I thought you said that the mousebabe was a rogue and a scamp, the worst of all the Dibbuns? he asked.
The old badger mother shrugged. “That doesnt stop him and Funtil from being the best singers. Hahaha, that was the best laugh Ive had in seasons, The Song of the Pirate Pond Dibbuns. They deserved to win. What do you think, Simeon?
The blind Herbalist seemed preoccupied. “What? Er, oh yes, by far the most comical ...
Mellus could tell that Simeons mind was elsewhere. “Whats wrong, old friend, are you tired? she said.
The blind one felt about until he found the badgers paw. “Slipp and Blaggut have gone, and I didnt follow them.
“But why should you follow them?
“Because that one called Slipp is up to no good. Until now, I have trailed them whenever they went off alone. Both of them think I am a black shadow that haunts them, and it keeps them out of mischief. But I was a bit slow tonight; Ive let them get away.
The badger stood up decisively. “Right, leave it to me. Ill find em!
“I have a pretty fair idea where they are, said Simeon, standing up with her. “Gone to dig up the Dibbuns treasure at the southeast wall corner.
The mousebabe and Furrtil picked up their trophy together. “Hurr, usns show ee whurr that be at! said Furrtil.
Tarquin was starting up another reel for all to join in as the four creatures went off after the searats.
Slipp was digging with the long kitchen knife he had stolen; Blaggut used a piece of stick. Together they dug and sweated until Blaggut felt his stick hit something hollow. “Haha, here it is, Capnthe secret idden treasure of the hAbbey.
Slipp ordered Blaggut out of the hole and began digging feverishly with the knife. In a short while he had unearthed a small rectangular box, of the type used in the Redwall kitchen to store salt or spices. It was oak, bound with brass strip, and had a broken lock. The searat Captain tugged it from the earth and, wiping it on his smock, he clambered from the hole grinning from ear to ear.