His face screwed into something unpleasant and I thought I'd have words from him, but he let me lead the way aft. Just his presence was enough to revive my doubt, my professionalism. My walk sharpened, my eyes widened, my stomach returned to its place in my gut.
I found Pembry sitting next to Hernandez now, both together in a feigned indifference. Hadley gave them a disinterested look and followed me down the aisle between the coffins.
"What about the main lights?" he asked.
"They don't help," I said. "Here." I handed him the flashlight and asked him, "Do you hear it?"
"Hear what?"
"Just listen."
Again, only engines and the jetstream. "I don't… "
"Shhh! Listen."
His mouth opened and stayed there for a minute, then shut. The engines quieted and the sounds came, dripping over us like water vapor, the fog of sound around us. I didn't realise how cold I was until I noticed my hands shaking.
"What in the hell is that?" Hadley asked. "It sounds like… "
"Don't," I interrupted. "That can't be it." I nodded at the metal boxes. "You know what's in these coffins, don't you?"
He didn't say anything. The sound seemed to filter around us for a moment, at once close, then far away. He tried to follow the sound with his light. "Can you tell where it's coming from?"
"No. I'm just glad you hear it too, sir."
The engineer scratched his head, his face drawn, like he swallowed something foul and couldn't lose the aftertaste. "I'll be damned," he drawled.
All at once, as before, the sound stopped, and the roar of the jets filled our ears.
"I'll hit the lights." I moved away hesitantly. "I'm not going to call the AC."
His silence was conspiratorial. As I rejoined him, I found him examining a particular row of coffins through the netting.
"You need to conduct a search," he said dully.
I didn't respond. I'd done midair cargo searches before, but never like this, not even on bodies of servicemen. If everything Pembry said was true, I couldn't think of anything worse than opening one of these caskets.
We both started at the next sound. Imagine a wet tennis ball. Now imagine the sound a wet tennis ball makes when it hits the court-a sort of dull THWAK-like a bird striking the fuselage. It sounded again, and this time I could hear it inside the hold. Then, after a buffet of turbulence, the thump sounded again. It came clearly from a coffin at Hadley's feet.
Not a serious problem, his face tried to say. We just imagined it.
A noise from one coffin can't bring a plane down, his face said. There are no such things as ghosts.
"Sir?"
"We need to see," he said.
Blood pooled in my stomach again.
See, he had said. I didn't want to see.
"Get on the horn and tell the AC to avoid the chop," he said. I knew at that moment he was going to help me. He didn't want to, but he was going to do it anyway.
"What are you doing?" Pembry asked. She stood by as I removed the cargo netting from the row of caskets while the engineer undid the individual straps around that one certain row. Hernandez slept head bowed, the downers having finally taken effect.
"We have to examine the cargo," I stated matter-of-factly. "The flight may have caused the load to become unbalanced."
She grabbed my arm as I went by. "Was that all it was? A shifting load?"
There was a touch of desperation in her question.
Tell me I imagined it, the look on her face said. Tell me and I'll believe you, and I'll go get some sleep.
"We think so," I nodded.
Her shoulders dropped and her face peeled into a smile too broad to be real. "Thank God. I thought I was going crazy."
I patted her shoulder. "Strap in and get some rest," I told her. She did.
Finally, I was doing something. As Loadmaster, I could put an end to this nonsense. So I did the work. I unstrapped the straps, climbed the other caskets, shoved the top one out of place, carried it, secured it, removed the next one, carried it, secured it, and again. The joy of easy repetition.
It wasn't until we got to the bottom one, the noisy one, that Hadley stopped. He stood there watching me as I pulled it out of place enough to examine it. His stance was level, but even so it spoke of revulsion, something that, among swaggering Air Force veterans and over beers, he could conceal. Not now, not to me.
I did a cursory examination of the deck where it had sat, of the caskets next to it, and saw no damage or obvious flaws.
A noise sounded-a moist "thunk." From inside. We flinched in unison. The engineer's cool loathing was impossible to conceal. I suppressed a tremble.
"We have to open it," I said.
The engineer didn't disagree, but like me, his body was slow to move. He squatted down and, with one hand firmly planted on the casket lid, unlatched the clasps on his end. I undid mine, finding my fingers slick on the cold metal, and shaking a little as I pulled them away and braced my hand on the lid. Our eyes met in one moment that held the last of our resolve. Together, we opened the casket.
First, the smelclass="underline" a mash of rotten fruit, antiseptic, and formaldehyde, wrapped in plastic with dung and sulfur. It stung our nostrils as it filled the hold. The overhead lights illuminated two shiny black body bags, slick with condensation and waste. I knew these would be the bodies of children, but it awed me, hurt me. One bag lay unevenly concealing the other, and I understood at once that there was more than one child in it. My eyes skimmed the juice-soaked plastic, picking out the contour of an arm, the trace of a profile. A shape coiled near the bottom seam, away from the rest. It was the size of a baby.
Then the plane shivered like a frightened pony and the top bag slid away to reveal a young girl, eight or nine at the most, half in and half out of the bag. Wedged like a mad contortionist into the corner, her swollen belly, showing stab wounds from bayonets, had bloated again, and her twisted limbs were now as thick as tree limbs. The pigment-bearing skin had peeled away everywhere but her face, which was as pure and as innocent as any cherub in heaven.
Her face was really what drove it home, what really hurt me. Her sweet face.
My hand fixed itself to the casket edge in painful whiteness, but I dared not remove it. Something caught in my throat and I forced it back down.
A lone fly, fat and glistening, crawled from inside the bag and flew lazily towards Hadley. He slowly rose to his feet and braced himself, as if against a body blow. He watched it rise and flit a clumsy path through the air. Then he broke the moment by stepping back, his hands flailing and hitting it-I heard the slap of his hand-and letting a nauseous sound escape his lips.
When I stood up, my temples throbbed and my legs weakened. I held onto a nearby casket, my throat filled with something rancid.
"Close it," he said like a man with his mouth full. "Close it."
My arms went rubbery. After bracing myself, I lifted one leg and kicked the lid. It rang out like an artillery shot. Pressure pounded into my ears like during a rapid descent.
Hadley put his hands on his haunches and lowered his head, taking deep breaths through his mouth. "Jesus," he croaked.
I saw movement. Pembry stood next to the line of coffins, her face pulled up in sour disgust. "What-is-that-smell?"
"It's okay." I found I could work one arm and tried what I hoped looked like an off-handed gesture. "Found the problem. Had to open it up though. Go sit down."
Pembry brought her hands up around herself and went back to her seat.
I found that with a few more deep breaths, the smell dissipated enough to act. "We have to secure it," I told Hadley.
He looked up from the floor and I saw his eyes as narrow slits. His hands were in fists and his broad torso stood fierce and straight. At the corner of his eyes, wetness glinted. He said nothing.