“No seeds? Obviously a swindle. I never trusted Ess Pu. He’s been gloating—”
“Silence,” the Xerian said coldly. In a subdued quiet he used the silver knife again and again in an atmosphere of mounting tension.
“No seeds?” Captain Ramsay asked blankly as the last fruit fell open emptily. The Xerian made no reply. He was toying with the silver knife and regarding Ess Pu.
The Algolian seemed as astounded as anyone else but as Macduff audibly remarked, it was hard to tell, with an Algolian. Captain Ramsay courageously broke the ominous silence by stepping forward to remind the Xerians that he was a representative of the GBI.
“Have no fear,” the Xerian said coldly. “We have no jurisdiction in your ship, Captain.”
Macduff’s voice rose in triumph.
“I never trusted that lobster from the start,” he announced, strutting forward. “He merely took your money and made a deal for seedless sphyghi. He is obviously a criminal. His hasty exit from Aldebaran Tau, plus his known addiction to Lethean dust—”
At that point Ess Pu charged down upon Macduff, raging uncontrollably. At the last moment Macduff’s rotund figure shot toward the open port and the thin Xerian sunlight outside. Ess Pu clattered after him, shrieking with fury, mouth membranes flaring crimson in his rage.
At the Xerian leader’s quick command, the other Xerians hurried after Macduff. There were distant, cryptic noises from outside. Presently Macduff reappeared, panting and alone.
“Awkward creatures, Algolians,” he said, nodding familiarly to the Xerian leader. “I see your men have-ah-detained Ess Pu.”
“Yes,” the Xerian said. “Outside, he is of course under our jurisdiction.”
“The thought had occurred to me,” Macduff murmured, drifting toward Ao.
“Noo wait a minute,” Captain Ramsay said to the Xerians. “Ye have na—”
“We are not barbarians,” the Xerian said with dignity. “We gave Ess Pu fifteen million Universal Credits to do a job for us and he has failed. Unless he can return the fifteen million, plus costs, he must work it out. The man-hour”-here Macduff was seen to wince—“the man-hour on Xeria is the equivalent of one sixty-fifth of a credit.”
“This is highly irregular,” the Captain said. “However, it’s out of my jurisdiction now. You, Macduff-stop looking so smug. You get off at Xeria too, remember. I advise ye to stay out of Ess Pu’s way.”
“I expect he’ll be busy most of the time,” Macduff said cheerfully. “I hate to remind a supposedly competent officer of his duties, but haven’t you forgotten the slight matter of the ship’s pool?”
“What?” Ramsay glanced blankly at the pulped fruit. “The pool’s called off, of course.”
“Nonsense,” Macduff interrupted. “Let’s have no evasions. One might suspect you of trying to avoid a payoff.”
“Mon, ye’re daft. How can there be a payoff? The lottery was based on guessing the seed count in a sphyghi fruit and it’s perfectly obvious the sphyghi has no seeds. Vurra weel. If no one has any objections—”
“I object!” Macduff cried. “On behalf of my ward, I demand that every single guess be counted and tabulated.”
“Be reasonable,” Ramsay urged. “If ye’re merely delaying the evil moment when I kick ye off the Sutter—”
“You’ve got to wind up the pool legally,” Macduff insisted. “Pah, shut yer clatterin’ trap,” Ramsay snapped sourly, picking up the sealed box and attaching a small gadget to it. “Just as ye like. But I am on to ye, Macduff. Noo, quiet please, everybody.”
He closed his eyes and his lips moved in a soundless mumble. The box flew open, disgorging a clutter of folded papers. At Ramsay’s gesture a passenger stepped forward and began to open the slips, reading off names and guesses.
“So ye gain pairhaps five minutes’ reprieve,” Ramsay said under his breath to Macduff. “Then oot ye go after Ess Pu and let me say it is pairfectly obvious ye lured the Algolian out of the Sutter on purpose.”
“Nonsense,” Macduff said briskly. “Am I to blame if Ess Pu focused his ridiculous anti-social emotions on me?”
“Aye,” Ramsay said. “Ye ken dom well ye are.”
“Male Kor-ze-Kabloom, seven hundred fifty,” called the passenger unfolding another slip. “Lorma Secundus, two thousand ninety-nine. Ao, per—”
There was a pause.
“Well?” Captain Ramsay prompted, collaring Macduff. “Well, mon?”
“Terence Lao-Tse Macduff—” the passenger continued and again halted.
“What is it? What number did he guess?” Ramsay demanded, pausing at the open port with one foot lifted ready to boot the surprisingly philosophical Macduff down the gangplank. “I asked ye a question!
What number’s on the slip?”
“Zero,” the passenger said faintly.
“Exactly!” Macduff declared, wriggling free. “And now, Captain Ramsay, I’ll thank you to hand over half the ship’s pool to me, as Ao’s guardian-less, of course, the price of our passage to Lesser Vega. As for Ess Pu’s half of the take, send it to him with my compliments.
“Perhaps it will knock a few months off his sentence, which, if my figures are correct, come to nine hundred and forty-six Xerian years.
A Macduff forgives even his enemies. Come, Ao, my dear. I must choose a suitable cabin.”
So saying, Macduff lit a fresh cigar and sauntered slowly away, leaving Captain Ramsay staring straight ahead and moving his lips as though in slow prayer. The prayer became audible.
“Macduff,” Ramsay called. “Macduff! How did ye do it?”
“I,” said Macduff over his shoulder, “am a scientist.”
The Lesser Vegan cabaret hummed with festivity. A pair of comedians exchanged quips and banter among the tables. At one table Ao sat between Macduff and Captain Ramsay.
“I am still waiting to hear how ye did it, Macduff,” Ramsay said. “A bargain’s a bargain, ye know. I put my name on yon application, didn’t I?”
“I cannot but admit,” Macduff said, “that your signature facilitated my getting Ao’s guardianship, bless her heart. Some champagne, Ao?” But Ao made no response. She was exchanging glances, less blank than usual, with a young Lesser Vegan male at a nearby table.
“Come, noo,” Ramsay insisted. “Remember I wull have to turn over my log at the end of the voyage.
I must know what happened concerning yon sphyghi. Otherwise, d’ye think I’d hae gone oot on a limb and guaranteed yer tortuous character, even though I carefully added, ‘to the best of my knowledge’?
No. Ye wrote thot zero when I saw ye do it, long before the fruit ripened.”
“Right,” Macduff said blandly, sipping champagne. “It was a simple problem in misdirection. I suppose there’s no harm in telling you how I did it. Consider the circumstances. You were going to maroon me on Xeria, side by side with that lobster. -
“Obviously I had to cut him down to my size by discrediting him with the Xerians. Winning the pool was an unexpected secondary development. Merely a stroke of well-deserved good luck, aided by applied scientific technique.”
“Ye mean that stuff ye wrote down on the paper Ess Pu found-the gibble-gabble aboot interferometers and ion-analyzers? So ye did find some way to count the seeds-och, I’m wrong there, am I?”
“Naturally.” Macduff twirled his glass and preened himself slightly. “I wrote that paper for Ess Pu’s eyes. I had to keep him so busy protecting his sphyghi and chasing me that he never had a spare moment to think.” -
“I still dinna ken,” Ramsay confessed. “Even if ye’d known the right answer in advance, how could ye foresee the pool would be based on sphyghi?”