'It's me. Uncle Sidney,' said the voice from the screen above her head.
'Oh, it's you, Uncle Sidney,' said Mrs Ryan. She backed away from the wall, still holding the mouthpiece and sat down near the kitchen table.
'Don't come too close,' said Uncle Sidney.
'Uncle Sidney,' said Mrs Ryan pitifully. 'I've asked you not to call during the day, when no one's at home. After all, I don't know who you are. It might be anyone.'
'I'm sorry I'm sure. I just wanted to ask if you'd like to come over tonight.'
"The car's being repaired,' said Mrs Ryan. 'He had to go by bus this morning. I told him not to, but he insisted. I don't know...'
Mrs Ryan broke off, a sadly bewildered look on her face.
There was silence.
Then she and Uncle Sidney spoke together: 'I've got to clean—' Mrs Ryan said.
'Can't you come—' said Uncle Sidney.
'Uncle Sidney. I've got to clean the front door today. And I know—I know that as soon as I open the door the woman from the next apartment will come out and pretend she's going to use the garbage disposal. Do you realise what it's like living next to a woman like that?'
Uncle Sidney's lined face dropped. 'Well, if you won't visit your uncle you won't,' he said. 'Do you know how long it's been since I saw you and him and the kids? Three months.'
'I'm sorry, Uncle Sidney.' Mrs Ryan looked at the floor, noticing a smear on one of the tiles. 'You wouldn't come to see us, I suppose...?'
'On my own?' Uncle Sidney said contemptuously.
He cut the connection. Mrs Ryan sat by the kitchen table holding the mouthpiece in her hand. She stood up slowly and replaced it.
It seemed to her that she could not get the cleaner and the spray from the cupboard. She could not cross the kitchen and go through the living room into the lobby. She could not, alone, open the front door.
She could not open the front door.
She might...
Mrs Ryan's mind became dark, fearful, confused.
She was swept around the whirlpool of her brain, helpless and still, in spite of herself, struggling.
She could not open the door.
She could not.
Mrs Ryan uttered a low moan and went into the bedroom.
Even in daylight the walls shimmered with many colours. The bed was neatly covered with the white bedspread. The shining dressing table was clear. Mrs Ryan picked up the only sign of occupancy, a pair of Mr Ryan's outdoor shoes. She opened a concealed cupboard and threw them in violently. She ran to the window, pressed the button on the sill.
The blinds came down quickly.
The walls of the room glowed and flickered.
Mrs Ryan paced to and fro. Past the bed to the darkened window.
Back from the window to the bed. Back and forth.
She stopped and turned on soft, soothing music.
She ran out of the room and locked the front door.
She came back into the bedroom, shut that door, lay down on the bed, listening to the music.
Even the music seemed slightly harsh today.
She closed her eyes and the faces came. She opened her eyes and reached towards the bedside cupboard, took out her sleeping pills, swallowed a pill and lay down again.
The music was almost raucous. She turned it off.
She lay in silence, waiting for sleep.
It was 11.23 a.m.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Mrs Ryan began to dream.
She was walking across the field away from the house she had lived in when she was eight. If she turned round she could see her mother framed in the kitchen window, her head bent over the stove. Behind her she could hear shouts of her brothers playing hide-and-seek.
Mrs Ryan trod over the springy turf, dreamily floated over the bright grass. She could hear birds singing in the trees at the edges of the field.
Mrs Ryan was floating, floating over the fields, far from the house. How sunny it was. How the birds sang. She was walking again. She turned to look for the house but she was too far away.
She could not see it. The sky was darkening. She could only dimly see the trees on either side of the field. She seemed to hear a noise; a babble of talk. At once, ahead of her, she saw a dark crowd approaching, talking among themselves. As they came closer she could still not distinguish one person from another. She had the impression that there were men, women and children.
But the mass was still a dark blur of heads, bodies, limbs, formless and faceless. The crowd advanced, the cackle of voices growing louder.
She stood transfixed in the field.
She could not move.
And the voices grew clearer.
'Look. There she is. She's there. She's really there.'
She felt the mood of the crowd change.
She felt a terrible fear.
'She's there. That's her. That's her. She's there. She's there.'
She stood rooted to the spot, her legs too heavy to carry her.
'She's there. She's there. That's her. That's her.'
The dark crowd began to run towards her. It yelled and cried out.
She could hear high, vengeful screams from the women. The crowd was almost on her.
And Mrs Ryan woke with a start in her bedroom in the light of the shimmering walls. She looked at the clock.
It was 11.31 a.m.
Trembling she lay there on the white bedspread, righting her way out of the dream. She gazed blankly at the walls, blinking her eyes to rid herself of the image of the black, blank faces of that terrible crowd. She rose and walked heavily from the room.
She went into the kitchen and took a pill to clear her head.
Sighing, she removed the can of cleaner from the shelf, walked through the living room, out into the lobby and up to the front door.
She put her hand on the latch.
Mrs Ryan hesitated, stiffened her back and opened the front door. She crept outside, into the long corridor.
The corridor was bright and white. It stretched away from her on either side. Set in the walls were the doors, all painted in fresh, dark colours.
Slowly Mrs Ryan began to spray the cleaner on the surface of the door. Once the door was covered with the white film she began to rub it off, faster and faster.
Nearly done, she thought to herself, nearly done. Thank God, thank God. Soon finished. Thank God.
Very slowly the blue door of the apartment opposite began to open. A woman looked through the crack of the door. She and Mrs Ryan stared at each other in shock. The woman's hand went to her mouth. Mrs Ryan recovered herself first.
Leaving the door half covered in white cleaning fluid she ran back inside her apartment and slammed the door. Almost at the same moment the other woman shut her own door, Mrs Ryan stood in the middle of her kitchen, gasping for breath.
"That bitch,' she said aloud. 'That bitch. What does she want to persecute me for? Why does she always do that to me? Spying on me all the time. Bitch, bitch, bitch.'
She went to the shelf, took down a bottle of capsules and swallowed two. She went into the living room and fell down on the plastic couch. She switched on the TV.
There was a picture of a family eating a turkey dinner. The turkey and its trimmings were laid out brightly on a gay table.
The family—parents and three teenage children—were joking.
Mrs Ryan watched the programme with a faint smile curling round her mouth.
She was soon asleep.
It was 11.48 a.m.
The boys woke her up.
She told them what bad happened and they told Ryan.
Ryan was sympathetic.
'You need a holiday, old girl,' he said. 'We'll see what we can do.'
'I'd rather not,' she said. 'I prefer to stay at home. It's just—the interference from the neighbours. I'm proud of my home.'