«Priscilla, don't be childish. You can get these things later.»
«No, I can't. Roger will have sold them out of spite. The only consolation I had was buying things. If I bought some pretty thing it cheered me up for a while and I could save out of the housekeeping money and it cheered me up a little bit. I got my diamante set and I got a crystal-and-lapis necklace which was quite expensive and-«
«Why hasn't Roger telephoned? He must know you're here.»
«He's too proud and hurt. Oh you know, in a way I feel so sorry for Roger, he's been so miserable, shouting at me or else not talking at all, he must be so terribly unhappy inside himself, really wrecked and mentally broken somehow. Sometimes I've felt he must be going mad. How can anyone go on living like that, being so unkind and not caring any more? He wouldn't let me cook for him any more and he wouldn't let me into his room and I know he never made his bed and his clothes were filthy, and smelt and sometimes he didn't even shave, I thought he'd lose his job. Perhaps he has lost his job and didn't dare to tell me. And now it must be even worse. I kept the house a bit tidy though it was hard to when he so obviously didn't care. Now he's all alone in that filthy pigsty, not eating, not caring-«I thought he was surrounded by women.»
«Bradley, please would you go to Bristol-«It sounds to me as if you're dying to go back to the man-«Please would you go and get my jewels, I'll give you the key.»
«Oh do stop going on about your jewels. They're all right. They're legally yours anyway. A wife owns her own jewellery.»
«The law isn't anything. Oh I do want them so, they're the only things I've got, I haven't got anything else, I haven't anything else in the world, I feel they're calling out to me-And the little ornaments, that stripy vase-«Priscilla dear, do stop raving.»
«Bradley, please please go to Bristol for me. He won't have had time to sell them yet, he won't have thought of it. Besides he probably imagines I'm coming back. They're all still in their places. I'll give you the key of the house and you can go in when he's at the office and just get those few things, it will be quite easy and it will make such a difference to my mind, and then I'll do anything you like, oh it will make such a difference-The front doorbell rang at this point. I got up. I felt stupidly upset. I made a sort of caressing gesture to Priscilla and left the room, closing the door. I went to the front door of the flat and opened it.
Arnold Baffin was outside. We moved into the sitting-room, smoothly, like dancers.
Arnold's face, with any emotion, tended to become uniformly pink, as if a pink light had been switched onto it. He was flushed so now, his pale eyes behind his glasses expressing a sort of nervous solicitude. He patted my shoulder, or dabbed at it with the quick gesture of one playing «tig.»
«How is she?»
«Much better. You and Rachel were so kind.»
«Rachel was. Bradley, you're not angry with me, are you?»
«What is there to be angry about?»
«You know-they did tell you-that I went off with Christian?»
«I don't want to hear about Mrs. Evandale,» I said.
«You are angry. Oh Christ.»
«I am NOT angry! I just don't-want to-know-«I didn't intend this, it just happened.»
«All right! So that's that!»
«But I can't pretend it didn't happen, can I? Bradley, I've got to talk to you about it-just to make you stop blaming me-I'm not a fool-after all I'm a novelist, damn it!-I know how complicated-«I don't see what being a novelist has to do with it or why you have to drag that in-«I only mean I understand how you feel-«I don't think you do. I can see you're excited. It must have amused you very much to be the reception committee for my ex– wife. Naturally you want to talk about it. I am telling you not to.»
«But Bradley, she's a phenomenon.»
«I am not interested in phenomena.»
«My dear Bradley, you must be curious, you must be. If I were you I'd be dying with curiosity. There's hurt pride, I suppose, and-«There's no question of hurt pride. / left her.»
«Well, resentment or something, I know time doesn't heal. That's the silliest idea of all. But God, I'd be so curious. I'd want to see what she'd become, what she was like. Of course she sounds like an American now-«I don't want to know!»
«You never gave me any idea of her. To listen to you talk-«Arnold, since you're such a clever novelist and so full of human psychology, please understand that this is dangerous ground. If you want to imperil our friendship go ahead. I can't forbid you to be acquainted with Mrs. Evandale. But you must never mention her name to me. This could be the end of our friendship, and I mean it.»
«Our friendship is a tough plant, Bradley. Look, I just refuse to pretend that this thing hasn't happened, and I don't think you ought to either. I know people can be awful dooms for each other-«Precisely.»
«But sometimes if you face a thing it becomes tolerable. You ought to face this, and anyway, you've got to, she's here and she's determined to see you, she's absolutely mad with interest, you can't avoid her. And you know, she is a most enormously nice person-«I think that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say.»
«All right, I know what you mean. But since you still feel so emotional about her-«I don't!»
«Bradley, be sincere.»
«You've met her, you've discussed me, you think she's 'a most enormously nice person-«Bradley, don't shout. I-«
The telephone rings again.
I go and lift the receiver.
«Brad! I say, is that really you? Guess who this is!»
I put the telephone down, settling it carefully back onto its stand.
I went back into the sitting-room and sat down. «That was her.»
«You've gone quite white. You're not going to faint, are you? Can I get you something? Please forgive me for talking so stupidly. Is she hanging on?»
«No. I put the thing-down-The telephone rings again. I do nothing.
«Bradley, let me talk to her.»
«No.»
I get to the telephone just after Arnold has lifted the receiver. I bang it back onto the rest.
«Bradley, don't you see, you've got to deal with this, you can't shirk it, you can't. She'll come round in a taxi.»
The telephone rings again. I lift it up and hold it a little way off. Christian's voice, even with the American tang, is recognizable. The years drop away. «Brad, do listen, please. I'm round at the flat, you know, our old place. Why won't you come round? I've got some Scotch. Brad, please don't just bang the phone down, don't be mean. Come round and see me. I do so want to take a look at you. I'll be here all day, till five o'clock anyway.»
I put the telephone down.1
«She wants me to go and see her.»
«You've got to, you've got to, it's your fate!»
«I'm not going.»
The telephone rings again. I take it off and lay it down on the table. It bubbles remotely. Priscilla calls in a shrill voice, «Bradley!»
«Don't touch that,» I said to Arnold, pointing at the telephone. I went in to Priscilla.
«Is that Arnold Baffin out there?» She was sitting on the side of the bed. I saw with surprise that she had put on her blouse and skirt and was putting some thick yellowish-pinkish muck onto her nose.
«Yes.»
«I think I'll come out to see him. I want to thank him.»
«As you like. Look, Priscilla, I'm going to be away for an hour or two. Will you be all right? I'll come back at lunch time, maybe a bit late. I'll ask Arnold to stay with you.»
«You will come back soon?»
«Yes, yes.»
I ran in to Arnold. «Could you stay with Priscilla? The doctor said she shouldn't be left alone.»
Arnold looked displeased. «I suppose I can stay. Is there any drink? I wanted to talk to you about Rachel, actually, and about that funny letter you wrote me. Where are you off to?»