“Oh yes. It seemed all right because we thought Joel was dead and you got on well with Roland... and there were the three of you. It seemed cozy... but it was really the next best thing, wasn’t it? It was because you thought Joel was gone forever and you were making do with what was left. There’s nothing you can do when people are dead... but when they’re living... well, I think you should try everything.”
“I appreciate your concern, but you needn’t worry. I shall go to Yorkshire and it will work out all right.”
“You’re really going to get a house up there?”
“That’s the idea.”
“When are you going?”
“Almost at once. They have found a house which they are renting. It’s near Bradford which I believe is the center of the wool trade.”
“That’s miles away.”
“Not so far really. We shall get a house nearer Bradford, but just at first we shall be in-or near-a little village called Bracken. It sounds rather rural.”
“It will be lonely up there.”
“Oh, there are stables and we shall have horses. In any case, we shall be busy looking at houses and then, when we have found one, getting it ready to move into. We shall not, I suppose, be long in Gray Stone House.”
“That’s the name of this house in this Bracken place, is it? Gray Stone House?”
“Yes, that is it.”
“Gray Stone sounds dreary.”
“Most stone is grayish and the country round about will be beautiful. But as I say, we shall only be there a short while.”
She came to me impulsively and put her arms round me.
“I’ll be thinking of you, Lucie.”
“And I of you.”
“I do wish that you and Joel ... I think that would be so wonderful. You’re just right for each other.”
“Please, Belinda ...”
She went on, “Roland’s a dear, but he is a little dull... isn’t he? Not like a politician going on missions and getting kidnapped.”
“That’s nothing to do with it, Belinda.”
“You’re going to change your mind,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “You’re going to do something. You’re going to be bold.”
“I am going to Yorkshire, Belinda. I shall be with my husband.”
“To old Gray Stone House ... in that Bracken place.”
I nodded.
“Oh, Lucie... Lucie... !”
I was surprised, for there were genuine tears in her eyes. I avoided Joel before I left. I dared not see him, for I felt the temptation to leave everything and go with him, would be too great to resist. Belinda and Bobby had gone. They were very tender toward me. I told them how happy I was that their affairs seemed to be working out to their satisfaction. Belinda said, “You must come and stay with us soon, mustn’t she, Bobby?”
“The sooner the better,” added Bobby.
“It would be nice if you were there when the baby was born.”
“We must arrange that,” said Bobby.
How happy they were, in spite of their difficulties. Belinda had no doubt that they would soon be overcome and she carried Bobby along with her. What would Belinda have done in my position? I asked myself. She would have gone with Joel. I had no doubt of that. Any trouble which ensued would be settled by others. But I knew I had to go to Roland.
Celeste was sorry to see me leave. She wanted to come with me to the station, but I hated platform good-byes and said it would be better for me to go alone. When I arrived at the station I was surprised to see Joel there. He had called at the house and Celeste had told him that I had already left. He came onto the platform with me and saw me onto the train. He stood looking at me pleadingly.
“It’s not too late, Lucie,” he said. “Don’t go.”
“I must, Joel.”
The guard was blowing his whistle and in seconds the train would begin to move. He took my hand and held it as though he would never let it go.
He said, “Lucie, if you would change your mind... I’ll be waiting.”
I saw him through a haze of tears as we began to move out of the station.
Gray Stone House
A fly had brought me from the station and as soon as I entered Gray Stone House a feeling of chill descended on me. I did not know why I should feel this, for it was much as I had expected. Built of gray stone, as its name indicated, rather ugly and somewhat isolated. It was that isolation which struck me at once. The country was of the moorland type-flattish and craggy. I could see for miles around and there was only one sign of habitation on the horizon. It looked as though it might be a farmhouse.
Phillida was watching me anxiously.
“We’re not very far from Bradford,” she told me. “And we shan’t be here long.”
“No, I suppose not.”
“Come and see the house.”
I stepped into a hall and my sense of despondency deepened. I told myself that it was because I was thinking of Joel ... of never seeing him again... turning my back on true love and accepting that for which I had once been grateful, before I was absolutely sure of the depth of my feeling for Joel.
The hall was darkish, for the windows of Gray Stone House were small and leaded, but fairly large and there were several doors leading out of it.
“The first thing is for Lucie to inspect the property,” declared Phillida, “always remembering, Lucie dear, that it is not for long.”
Roland put his arm through mine. “The house we shall have will be quite different,” he said. “But it seemed a good idea to take this for a short period.”
“Other people’s furniture never seems right,” commented Phillida. “I suppose it is because it is not what one would have chosen oneself.”
She threw open one of the doors and disclosed what I supposed was a drawing room. It was heavily curtained and again I was aware of the darkness. There was a fireplace with a mantelshelf on which were two vases, decorated with flowers, and an ormolu clock. The room was conventionally furnished with a couch and several chairs. The dining room, laundry room and kitchen were all close together. As soon as Phillida opened the kitchen door I saw Kitty.
“Hello, Kitty,” I said.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Fitzgerald,” said Kitty.
“Of course, we had to bring Kitty with us,” explained Phillida. “She looks after us very well, don’t you, Kitty?”
“I do my best,” mumbled Kitty. “I expect you’re ready for dinner.”
“How right you are!” cried Phillida.
She shut the door and cried, “Oh, while you’re here, I must show you. There’s another room down here. It’s quite small but it suits me. I hope you don’t mind but I’ve claimed it as mine. It’s my little herbary.”
“This will be where you keep your remedies,” I said.
“Exactly.”
There was a trunk in one corner and, seeing my eyes stray to it, Phillida went on, “There was no room for that upstairs. It’s rather weighty too. It’s got some books and clothes in it. I said they needn’t bother to take it up. After all, we’re not going to be here long.”
“You know what Phillida is with her herbs,” said Roland.
“Oh, yes. I’ve been missing the nightcap while I’ve been away.”
“And obviously you are in need of it. You don’t look so good as when we last saw you - but you are going to be better now.”
“Of course... when she is with us, I hope,” said Roland, smiling fondly at me.
And I thought, how could I ever hurt them? But what of Joel? Wasn’t I hurting him? “You are very pensive, Lucie dear,” said Phillida breezily. “I don’t think you are exactly enamoured of the house.”
“Well, as you say, it is only a starting-off point.”
“Exactly. That’s just it. Come on. Let’s show you upstairs. There are four rooms ... a largish bedroom which has been designated to you and Roland. The next m size shall be mine. And there are two other smaller bedrooms.” We inspected the bedrooms and I saw the short spiral staircase which led to the attics.