“It’s nothing, Lucie. It’s just something you’ve got on your mind.”
“I wasn’t thinking of it then.”
“But it was on your mind,” cried Phillida. “It’s not uncommon for this sort of thing to happen. People have hallucinations. You have suffered a terrible shock.” I made an impatient gesture. I had heard all this before.
“You saw it,” I reiterated. “I saw it clearly. You must have seen it. You were looking straight at it ... both of you.”
“There was nothing there,” repeated Phillida firmly. “If there had been we should have seen it. You must believe us, Lucie.”
I sat on the bed helplessly. Roland sat beside me, and, putting his arms round me, stroked my hair.
“I think the best thing is a good night’s sleep,” he said.
“Just the thing,” said Phillida. “Here, drink your nightcaps before they are cold.”
Obediently we did so.
“You both need a good night’s sleep,” said Phillida. “You’ll feel better when you’ve had that.” She laid a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry, Lucie. These things happen sometimes. The thing is to forget them. We’ll have all the fun and excitement of getting into the new house. That’ll take your mind off it. It’s what you need. You’ve been brooding. It isn’t unusual, you know. It happens to people after terrible shocks. Sometimes it takes quite a long time to recover. I’ll leave you now. Good night. Sleep well.” She kissed me lightly and then did the same to Roland.
“See you in the morning.”
And then she went out.
When she had gone, Roland said, “We won’t talk anymore tonight. You must get straight to bed and to sleep. Phillida’s right Sleep is what you need. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
To sleep? To rest? Phillida’s nightcap was not exactly efficacious. I lay still through the night. What did it mean? I asked myself. Why was I haunted by this vision? And both Roland and Phillida had been unable to see it. If it had been a real person they must have seen him. So he must be a ghost... the ghost of Fergus O’Neill, the man I had sent to the gallows.
I saw the dawn come and only then did I sleep.
I was awakened by the sound of wheels. I was startled. It was very late. I saw by the clock that it was ten o’clock.
Roland had gone and I guessed that Phillida had given instructions that I should not be disturbed.
I wondered who was below. I went to the window. I could never approach it without a shudder, wondering what I should see below.
It was a dog cart and Mrs. Hellman was alighting. The little girl Daisy was with her.
I heard Mrs. Hellman’s penetrating voice: “Good morning, Miss Fitzgerald. Your sister-in-law said you would like some eggs.”
Phillida, charming and gracious as ever, was standing there.
“How good of you! The eggs were delicious. We’d love some more.”
“Is young Mrs. Fitzgerald around?” asked Mrs. Hellman.
“She’s sleeping. She’s not very well.”
“Oh dear. I hope it’s nothing serious.”
“Well, we’re worried, my brother and I. Yes... very worried.”
“Oh deary me!”
“Well,” said Phillida. “She’s ... er ... a little strange.”
“Oh?”
“She sees things... visions. It’s rather frightening, but we’re hoping she’ll get better.”
I felt sick. How dared she tell this ... to a woman whom she had never met before! Mrs. Hellman had come close to Phillida. “Well, I would have said she was just a nice normal young woman ...just like everyone else.”
“It’s only at times,” said Phillida.
“A little...” Mrs. Hellman tapped her forehead.
“Would you like to come in?” asked Phillida.
“Well, that’ll be nice. Daisy, come on.”
“I’m just on my way to Bracken,” Mrs. Hellman was saying as they went in. “I just thought I’d drop the eggs in on my way.”
I sat down. So that was what they thought of me! And Phillida had told Mrs. Hellman... almost as though she were warning her. I was horrified. I must be reasonable, I told myself. I had been hysterical last night. I had seen him so clearly, and they had been standing beside me and had not... both of them. I stayed in my room all the morning.
At midday Phillida came in. She smiled at me tenderly.
“That’s right,” she said. “Roland and I both agreed that you needed a rest. How are you feeling now?”
“Better, thank you.”
“Good. I’ll send Kitty up with a little light lunch on a tray. How’s that?”
“Thank you. Then I think I’ll get up.”
“Why not? If you feel like it. Kitty can bring up hot water.”
“Yes, I’ll wash and then have the food.”
“That’s a good idea. Have it quietly in your room and then, if you feel like it ... perhaps a little walk would do you good.”
“Thank you, Phillida,” I said.
“It’s our pleasure to look after you ... to get you well.”
She stood smiling at me and I thought, how could you have said what you did about me... and to a stranger? But what had she said? Nothing but the truth. It was what she had implied. But then ... I had seen visions.... “How would you fancy an omelette? I have some very fresh eggs. Your Mrs. Hellman called this morning to bring some. A pity you weren’t up. She asked after you. What a talker she is! I suppose she doesn’t get much opportunity to talk in that farmhouse.”
“I heard her,” I said.
“Oh? So you were awake. Well, I’ll see about things. Hot water first. Kitty will bring it up at once.”
She smiled at me benignly and went out.
I was glad to be in my room for a time. I did not want to talk to Phillida. I might mention that I had heard what she said to Mrs. Hellman. I wanted desperately to see Rebecca, and I had an impulse to ride into Bradford and get a train to London. I could go to Celeste for a night and then on to Cornwall. How could I do anything so melodramatic? I must talk to Roland tonight. I could tell him that I had made up my mind that I must go at once to see Rebecca. He would understand. He always did.
I thought then of the letter I had written to Rebecca. I went to the drawer. There it was. I could at least send it off. I would ride into Bracken this afternoon to the little post office.
I felt better now that I had decided to take some action.
The hot water came. I washed and Kitty arrived with the omelette. I was surprised that I felt hungry and was able to eat with relish.
I put on my riding habit and went downstairs.
Phillida was in her herbary. She came out, looking surprised when she saw me dressed for riding.
“Do you feel well enough?” she asked anxiously.
“Yes. I think it will do me good.”
“Not too far then. Just a little amble round.”
I nodded as though in agreement. She came to the door and waved as I rode away. I felt better. Why did I see these visions? It was because others could stand beside me and see nothing that I was alarmed.
I longed to see Joel. Suppose I went to him... ? No, that was not the way. He would persuade me to stay and I could not hurt Roland... that way. It was Rebecca I needed to see first. I needed my half sister’s cool common sense. I touched the letter in my pocket and wondered how long it would take to reach her. But I did not have to wait for a reply. I only had to appear at High Tor. They had always made me feel as though it were my home. If only she were near now. But I was feeling better because I was taking some action. I would speak to Roland tonight and tell him I would leave tomorrow because I must see Rebecca. I arrived in Bracken and went straight to the post office. I tethered my horse outside while I went in.
The shop was a typical village store. It sold most things necessary to ordinary household requirements. It catered for a small community but it had to be able to supply all necessities. There were cakes, biscuits, sugar, tea ... all that a grocer would sell; there were clothes, boots, shoes, fruit, cough mixtures and such remedies... and in a corner of the shop-the post office.