"I'll do it myself!" she said aloud with sudden resolution, and then stood, shocked by her own daring. Could she do it? Could she… masturbate? The word frightened her. Wasn't it as bad as what Jack had tried to do to her this morning? Well, maybe not, she thought. After all, Jack puts his finger in me all the time. It's certainly better than… and she shuddered as she thought of someone putting his mouth to a wet, hairy, quivering cunt.
And I can control it myself, Pam continued to think excitedly. I won't expect any more than I have to give! With these last thoughts Pam cut off the debate. She had made up her mind and she would stick by it!
Well, where do we start? she asked herself, and looked apprehensively down to where her tufted blonde pubic hair peeked out from between her thighs. Timidly she reached down with one hand and ran her finger the length of her vaginal slit. She felt an instant spasm of answering pleasure, but at the same time became aware that her pussy was still wet and slippery, not only with her own slick lubricants but also with Jack's saliva.
"Ugh," she said to herself and decided the first thing she would do was take a bath. Half-prude, half-libertine, the young housewife slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom. When she saw her husband's shaving equipment spread haphazardly over the sink where he had left it in his haste, she had to stifle a sob. But she vowed to go ahead with her plan, being far too young and headstrong to make the attempt to meet Jack half-way. She knew that she was right in her belief that certain kinds of sex were inexcusably wrong and there was no way she could coerce her mind into accepting them. She would persevere.
Pam ran a tub full of water, carefully keeping her mind away from what had happened this morning and what she intended to do. As soon as she got out of the bath she would… There were no clear pictures in her mind of how one masturbated, but she would learn, and… a look of hope came over her face.
Maybe she could teach herself to be more like Jack wanted. Less like a corpse.
Now that she had removed her aims further from the dangerous realms of self-gratification, the young blonde felt more at ease with her earlier decision. Yes, she would teach herself, learn to be less inhibited. Maybe by herself, with no one else involved, it would be easier.
Slipping into the water, Pam gratefully lay back and relaxed. How good the water feels, she thought. How sensuous. Letting the water lull her tensions, Pam gradually made herself become aware of her body. Her skin was warm, all except the tips of her breasts which jutted up above the water's surface. Without thinking, she blew on her nipples and the little pink buds instantly began to harden under the rush of cool air.
"Mmmm," Pam sighed and shivered with delight. Instantly her hands reached up and began to stroke her own breasts, paying particular attention to the quiveringly erect nipples, tweaking and rolling their pink hardness between her thumbs and forefingers. Pam found her eyes closing automatically and forced them back open, so she could see herself touching her own body. Totally absorbed in what she was doing, she forgot to be self-conscious, and found that watching what was happening added to her excitement.
As she stroked her breasts, her legs began to move in sympathy, writhing slowly under the water as the dreamy eyed young girl rubbed delight into her passionately swelling twin mounds. Slightly out of breath now, Pam began to rub her thighs together, trying to put pressure on her hidden pussy. But she kept slipping further down in the tub, and had to take her hands from her breasts to prop herself back up again.
Shall I do it now? she asked herself breathlessly. One hand was under the water, trailing undecidedly over her water-slippery thigh, only inches away from where her cunt wavered and shimmered through the shifting water.
With a groan of decision, Pam lay back in the tub, her head propped up on the edge. Parting her long, graceful legs, she eagerly ran one hand down the silky inside of one thigh until it was groping at the edge of her pussy. Holding her breath, Pam gently inserted the tip of one finger up into her waiting hungry slit and sought out her tiny clitoral button. She pressed hard.
Pam's head thudded back against the edge of the tub as a hot wave of lust shot through her loins, switched on by her probing finger. Her mouth opened, gasping for more air and for a moment Pam was unable to move, amazed at the intensity of the feeling she could wring from her own body.
Why? she thought in confusion. Why is it so much stronger now? Anticipating her own reactions, Pam was able to short-circuit the automatic defenses that had always protected her from reacting too much to her husband's touch. Trusting herself, knowing that the whole operation was safe, under her own control, Pam continued to titillate her throbbingly erect clitoris, fingering delight into her body. She continued to lie back, her only outward reaction, sudden tremors convulsing her muscles from time to time when she touched a particularly sensitive place.
She knew she could cum this way, just from her clitoris, but this, her first time, Pam wanted to feel her fingers in her vagina. Regretfully pulling her hand away from her almost painfully erect clitoris, Pam sought out her vaginal opening, clumsily at first, having trouble working her finger inside because the bath water was washing away her lubricating oils as fast as they collected. Finally she had her finger up inside, exploring her own inner terrain, fascinated by the muscular resilience of her vaginal passage. She tried to move her finger in and out, the way Jack's cock did, but it was hard for her to get the rhythm. Each time she tried, the answering ecstasy in her stretched pussy so confused and weakened her that she had to stop and catch her breath.
And she began to wonder if she would be able to satisfy herself. Compared to Jack's thick cock, her finger was ridiculously small and thin. She wormed in another finger and the added thickness stretched the vaginal opening gratifyingly, but try as she might, they were lust too short to reach far enough inside. The frustrated young wife was just about to admit defeat and go back go to pummeling her patiently waiting clitoris, when her eyes lit up.
Hanging from a bracket on the wall above the tub was some special soap that Jack used. It came on a stick – a long lumpy cylinder of smooth soap that looked for all the world like a battered penis.
Panting softly, Pam stared at the suddenly obscene object for several seconds. Only a few minutes before, the cautious young blonde would never have entertained the lurid intention that now dominated her mind. But by now she was so aroused from her unsuccessful finger-fucking that she was willing to try anything. Doubting that she could make herself cum with just her own fingers, and wanting, needing to cum, Pam impulsively reached up and took the long cylindrical stick of soap down from its peg.
Eagerly she plunged it underneath the water, watching it shimmer and change shape as it approached her gaping pussy-hole. Holding her breath, she maneuvered the blunt tip into her ready opening, and then, with a grunt, rammed it up inside. The soap slid home effortlessly, becoming slippery as it melted, and in an instant Pam was completely impaled on its knobby shaft.
Staring stupidly down at the several inches of soap that still protruded from her suddenly filled cunt, it took Pam several seconds to realize fully what she'd done. God, I'm fucking myself with Jack's soap-stick! her mind screamed out. Is this any better than what I wouldn't let him do to me? She wanted to tear the obscene dildo from her vagina, but the very obscenity of what she was doing, the sight of that ugly inanimate object jutting lewdly back out of her wide-open cunt sent a shiver of pleasure up Pam's spine. How can there be anything wrong when I'm doing it to myself? she reasoned, and feeling how the long slippery shaft was stretching her open inside, she suddenly grabbed the handle and began to slither it in and out of her gaping cunt.