“How long ago was it, then? When you believed in Father Christmas?”
“A long time. When I used to be five.”
This really irked Benny no end. He didn’t believe in him anymore but he was so much older than she. He’d been looking forward to talking to her about Father Christmas-the kinds of things he got up to and the dwarfs and all. Actually, he’d been looking forward to feeling superior. That was one of the nice things about little kids being around, the way you could feel superior to them. “That’s not much time for believing. I mean, you wouldn’t even have thought much about Father Christmas until you were four, say. So if you stopped at age five-well, it was hardly worth it, believing. You might as well just have gone ahead and disbelieved.” Benny did not know what this fuddled need for accuracy was. Was it because the subject of his mum had arisen and talking about her made him cold and anxious? Yet the need to talk about her was as strong as the fear of talking.
The way she had lived and died was to him courageous, but to another would be contemptible, which is how the ones under Waterloo Bridge were thought of by other people. Benny had gone out with his mother most days. When one day they had collected scarcely enough for Sparky’s dog food, Benny leaned against his mother and cried. “We got nothing, nothing, nothing.” And she had answered, “Neither does God.” And he had said, “But He doesn’t have a dog.” His mum laughed.
But that’s the way she always was, not hopeful that things would change, for she knew they wouldn’t, yet not seeming to care that much. He remembered a Selfridges bag walking past them (for they were sitting on the pavement) with three white boxes Benny could see over its rim. His mother said, “She’s just bought three new pairs of shoes. Those boxes are shoe boxes. Now you know what’ll happen to them? They’ll spend their lives in her closet. She’ll wear them a few times and then they’ll sit amongst the other shoes and she’ll buy more.”
She actually didn’t seem to mind having to beg. It made him furious to think of this, for she had deserved so much better, and in Dublin they’d had so much better.
“What’s wrong?” asked Gem in a worried way. “You look mad.”
“I’m not.” But he was. He turned to her and asked, “Do you mind not having anything?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
Benny swept his arm out to encircle the house and the grounds. “I mean all this of the Tynedales. Does it bother you none of this is yours? Not even a little bit is yours?”
Gem’s face, to his horror, began to crumple.
“I’m sorry, Gem. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
Gem wailed and clamped Richard to her chest.
Benny put his arm around her, genuinely remorseful that because he didn’t have anything, he didn’t want her to, either, nor did he understand any of this. “I’m really sorry.”
She went on wailing.
“Stop that.”
She stopped; she stopped as though she’d never started and went back to inspecting Richard’s trousers.
Now Benny was really irritated. “How’d you do that?” For her wailing had certainly been a convincing example of brokenheartedness.
“Do what?” She was humming now and wiping at Richard’s shirt from where she’d cried on it.
“You were just crying and yelling to beat the band.”
“I know I was. I was sad.”
“Well, obviously, but-” Exasperated, Benny thought, What’s the use?
Melrose considered the shrub.
Why Murphy couldn’t just leave it alone he didn’t know. The shrub looked okay to him, boxed as it was inside its yew hedge. There was a whole line of shrubs within hedges, a box parterre he believed it was called. So it was a trifle scraggly and needed a bit of shaping-like one of Polly Praed’s mysteries-still, the shrub presented itself to the world as fairly in line with the others.
“That shrub there,” Murphy had said, “that shrub’s got desuetude written all over it.” Melrose was glad that Murphy had gone for the day.
He heard a car rev up and looked behind him to see Kitty Riordin in her little VW making a turn in the gravel drive. She rolled down the window and called to him. “Ambrose! When you’ve finished here, would you just give my bit of garden a weeding? Thank you!” She threw up her arm in a wave good-bye and rolled off. It was her day for shopping in Oxford Street and Piccadilly.
Kitty Riordin was a person who ran to schedules, all of her appointments, rendezvous and pleasure hunting neatly written in on her calendar, boxed like the shrubs inside squares he was examining now for a cosmetic fix.
Melrose studied the ball of shrub and decided to have a cigarette as he looked off at the cottage.
Forty-four
Keeper’s Cottage sat about a hundred yards from the Lodge and had been, presumably, a caretaker’s lodge. It was sheltered from view by several large tulip trees and a magnificent larch. In front of the little cottage was a remnant of garden, one clearly not tended by Angus Murphy, nor would it be by Melrose. Now, in winter, it was a haven for cold stalks, brittle-looking stems and sodden leaves.
He went around to the back and tried the window Gemma had told him about. He raised it easily and dropped down into the kitchen. Nothing interesting here, so he went through to the living room. It was warm and with the signature English cottage ambiance of cretonne, exposed timbers, cuteness and cat. Snowball sat and stared at Melrose. He wondered why he had this effect on animals; they found him as entrancing as a box parterre. They stared; they washed.
He looked at the pictures on a round table by the window (cutely curtained in a print of flowers and butterflies). There were a number of framed photographs, mostly of the snapshot-by-the-sea variety, showing a younger Kitty Riordin with a younger Maisie Tynedale. At least the child looked like Maisie, here probably ten or twelve. There was also one of (presumably) Maisie as a baby. On the corner of the silver frame dangled a silver bracelet with an engraved heart: M. The bracelet adorned her tiny wrist in the photograph and, looking closely at the hand which lay against Kitty’s breast, he could make out the flaw in the tiny fingers, which would have been, he guessed, prior to the accident during the bombings. He was surprised, though, that the Tynedale fortune hadn’t been able to secure a surgeon to put the flawed little hand to rights.
He walked up très cute narrow stairs into a bedroom the same size as the room beneath it. Bathroom over the kitchen. Definitely a house for one person, but that said, it seemed comfortable and with the fringe benefit of meals taken at the Lodge.
Snowball had followed him into the room and regarded him with an expression usually reserved for bus conductors. Melrose told the cat to go away, an order which would have gone down equally well with a bus conductor.
Melrose wondered if Kitty Riordin would bother hiding incriminating evidence. Or was she confident that so much time had passed, no one would be searching her premises? There was a desk with pigeonholes and writing implements against the front wall between the two windows. The top held shelves for books behind two glass doors. He stood and looked, believing this to be better police procedure than immediately knocking about the room and busying his fingers with poking things about. Having looked without success, he busied his fingers poking through the cubbyholes and little drawers. Nothing. He looked through her bureau drawers. Very neat, nothing there either.
The cat, who had been creeping about and sniffing as if he had never been in the room before, made a bound to the bed where Melrose was now sitting and another bound to the night table, knocking over a picture. Finding nothing further to maul and hit, Snowball gave up trying to find anything remotely interesting and padded downstairs. Good riddance.