Christ, he thought to himself, I must be getting desperate.
He could have taken the isolation better if it wasn't for the batteries in his radio dying on him without warning; usually they faded over a couple of nights but this time it was just zonk, no signal. He couldn't even run down to the village to get a new set — they had them in the marina shop at the auto marine — because his van was temporarily off the road. Now, when he tried to read instead, the lights kept flickering and screwing up his concentration. He knew what it was — tank sediment kept getting into the fuel pipe that fed the generator but short of a total drain and cleanout, he didn't know of any way to cure it. When it got really bad, like when it cut out completely, he'd take a wrench out and tap all the way along the pipe; sometimes that would help, but having to do it could be a real pain.
Especially if it meant he had to go out into the dark.
He'd never had any particular fear of darkness, but over the past few weeks he seemed to have grown more and more nervous at night. He couldn't explain it. But his skin would crawl as if he'd somehow sensed that he was being watched, and he'd switch on every light that he could find including the big spotlights out over what would one day become the car park. The entire ski centre would then be laid out before him, a brightly lit, deserted playland with one sole scared occupant looking out toward the woods. And then he'd lock the doors to the reception block, and he'd retire to his back room and make himself as small as a child on his bunk in the corner.
Nothing was hanging together right any more. Everything seemed to be falling apart. You could even sense it in the village, ever since those two kids had been drowned; business was running as usual, but the spirit of the place somehow wasn't quite the same. Most people probably noticed nothing but Amis, perhaps because he was an outsider, could feel it like a pulse. Sometimes he thought that he'd have liked nothing more than to be like Michael of the tarmac boys, gap toothed and thick headed and with no greater concern than that of pissing his money away at a speed roughly equal to that at which he made it, but he had to make do with the hand that he'd been dealt — thin-skinned and solitary, one of nature's observers.
The lights went out on him.
Damn.
Well, it was late — the simplest answer would be to drop the book on the floor, throw off his T shirt and his jeans, and crawl under the covers and go to sleep. But it wasn't that late, and he wasn't particularly tired, and he knew that he'd do little more than lie there on the hard mattress tormenting himself with thoughts of that waitress. It had been fun, for a while, but he was too old to be entirely at ease with such fantasies. They were for teenagers, looking ahead to a life where anything wonderful could happen. At Amis's stage of existence, the options were narrowing fast and he knew that out of all the possibilities, wonderful was hardly the most likely.
He'd spoken to her often enough. For a while, there, he'd as good as haunted the place in the late afternoons… but then the van had broken down and getting into town hadn't been so easy, and besides the restaurant had become so damned busy that he'd become just another face in an ever-changing crowd. It didn't seem hopeless. It was hopeless, and he knew it.
He tossed the book aside and swung his legs off the bed, reaching underneath for the flashlight that he always kept handy. The generator itself was around the back of the reception block, protected from interference or vandalism by a welded metal walk in cage inside a lean to shed. Amis never bothered to close the cage door; he had enough keys to lug around and remember, and didn't want to add to them.
The night was warm. He could see stars. He'd never seen stars like he'd seen them around here, cold and diamond-sharp and so many. He walked barefoot around the reception building, on the new tarmac for the first few strides and then onto the beaten earth pathway that would lead to the back, his flashlight beam ranging over the ground as he moved. There was silence, no regular chug chug chug of the working generator, which meant that it had to have stalled. In the silence he was aware of the woodland, standing just out of reach. Sometimes he could feel as if this were a frontier post, with everything out there just waiting and passing time until the opportunity came to grab the territory back.
Well, it wouldn't happen. Too much money had gone into the place for that, now. Pity that it hadn't extended to something better than this undersized diesel driven power supply. Mains electricity was supposedly going to be brought in at some stage, but God only knew when that would be.
Once inside the shed, Amis entered the cage and cast around for the big wrench that he'd taken to keeping in here. When he found it, he tapped along the feed pipe at random and then gave a couple of good, square bangs on the connectors before he tried the starter button. The generator caught immediately, coughed once, and then ran on smoothly.
He switched off the flashlight as he came back around the dirt path. The big lights were on again now, and he wouldn't need it.
Someone was waiting for him.
He stopped, and she turned.
It seemed as bright as day out on the newly laid forecourt and it was as if she'd been caught by the lights, trapped and dazed like a rabbit on a long country road. He tried to speak, and all that he could say was, "Where did you come from?"
And Alina said, "Is that what you call a welcome?"
For a moment, he couldn't move. There was no way of explaining this, no parallel that he could reach for other than to say: that he'd once made a wish, and the wish now appeared to have come true.
And then he took a step toward her, the dead flashlight still in his hand, and he said, "I'm sorry, you gave me a scare. How did you get here?"
"I walked." He must have looked disbelieving, because she went on, "I walk a lot at night, on my own. It's a good time for thinking things over."
"But it's miles."
"Not so many. And at this hour, I have all the time that I need." A sudden realisation seemed to trouble her. "Were you sleeping? Did I come too late?"
"Sleeping? No," Amis reassured her, hurriedly. "Just kind of… lazing around."
She nodded, as if this was what she'd been expecting, and then she took what was probably her first real look at her surroundings.
A designer village, was the intended effect; sidelights along the pathways, mauve tinted floods on the buildings, and a mini spot on each of the directional signs wherever two paths joined. When the place was up and running, with guests in all the woodland chalets and the cafeteria open until late, it would feel safe at any hour; and now that he was no longer alone here, it seemed that way now.
She said, "So this is where you've been working."
"Yeah," Amis said. "Want to take a look around?"
His head was spinning as he led her into the reception building. What was he going to say to her? And why was she really here? All that he could think of was to show her his work on the counter and the panelling, which was probably as good as anything that he'd ever done. For a moment, when he'd first stepped back from it, he'd experienced the satisfaction of the true craftsman. By comparison, what he'd been doing in the cafeteria block was mere journeyman stuff. He'd show her, and even if she didn't appreciate the work it would perhaps give him a moment to think, to recover his poise.