I knew I had to save Father.
But who could I find to help me?
All of Milltown, in my mind a great metropolis, had once been my playground; now it was alien territory. There was no one on whom I could rely; then I thought of someone — Huixian. She owed us, and she remained a celebrity. I placed my hopes on her, but what could I say to convince her to come to my father’s aid? I couldn’t begin to guess if she’d be willing to do so. I passed a bakery stall on the eastern edge of town, its fragrance reminding me that I was hungry. I bought a baked flatbread and immediately sank my teeth into it. Just then I heard my name shouted in a crisp voice. It was Desheng’s wife, who was gaping at me in complete surprise. ‘Why aren’t you back on the barge, Dongliang? Your father is waiting for his lunch.’
‘So what? I’m not his personal servant, you know. He’s got two hands, and there’s a pot in the kitchen and rice in the pantry. What’s keeping him from making his own lunch?’
She gave me a bewildered look. ‘Why is a dutiful son like you saying things like that? Have you fought with your father again?’
I waved her off and started walking. I hadn’t fought with my father. It was the rest of the world that was fighting with him.
I returned to the barbershop, where, amid the smells of food and Glory soap, the barbers were eating on a makeshift table made of two stools pulled together. Their surprise at seeing me again was matched by my surprise at what I saw: since when had Wang Xiaogai of the security group started eating with this lot? There he was, sitting in the middle, stuffing a fried egg into his mouth.
Old Cui stared at me uncertainly. ‘What are you doing here? You’ve had your haircut.’
I’d come to help my father, after pondering what I’d say to Huixian on the way over. But one look at Wang Xiaogai drove that thought out of my mind. What was he doing, enjoying a meal with the barbers? I glared at him — his hair, his new grey jacket, and the area around his crotch — and was immediately reminded of the talk I’d been hearing about Huixian, especially the rumour that Xiaogai had the hots for her. I’d laughed it off as crazy talk. Could it possibly be true?
Huixian laid down her bowl and looked me up and down. ‘Did you fight it out with Zhao Chunmei? How come you look like you’ve lost your best friend?’ She could see I was staring at Xiaogai. ‘Who are you looking for? Wang Xiaogai?’
I knew what I must have looked like, so I turned away from Xiaogai and said to her, ‘I want to talk to you about something. Can you come outside?’
‘Why do we have to talk outside?’ There was a guarded look in her eyes. ‘I don’t like that sneaky expression of yours. Who do you want to talk about? You? Me?’
‘N — neither,’ I stammered, beginning to lose my composure. ‘What’s got you so uppity?’ I said. ‘All I’m asking is for you to step outside. It won’t take long. What do you say?’
‘I say no.’ She shook her head, showing she meant what she said. ‘I’m not afraid to step outside, but I’m not a girl who shares sweet nothings with just anybody.’
The men around the table exchanged knowing looks. With a grin, Little Chen smacked his chopsticks against his lunch box. ‘You heard her. She doesn’t go for that kind of talk. If you’ve brought a love letter along, read it for us. We’d love to hear it.’
Wang Xiaogai hadn’t taken his eyes off me. I was his enemy, and he was ready for anything. But then he sneered and pointed to the mirror. ‘If you’ve written a love letter, go and take a look at yourself and see if you’re fit to read it.’
I sneered back. ‘That’s enough of that talk, Xiaogai,’ I said. ‘I may not be fit to read a love letter, but you’re not even fit to write one. You’re not educated enough to write one even if you wanted to.’
Being put down in front of his friends infuriated him. He threw his spoon at me. ‘Kongpi,’ he snarled, ‘maybe you can write love letters, but you’re still a kongpi. I may be dumb, but I’m a hell of a lot better than you!’ He stood up and pointed to me threateningly, his eyes blazing. ‘I told you to take a look in the mirror, but since you won’t, I’ll tell you what you look like: you look like a parasite. Who’ve you come here to feast upon, that’s what I want to know. Who is Huixian to you? And what does she owe you? Do you think you own her just because she had a few meals on your boat? What do you want to talk to her about? Everybody knows what’s on your mind. You’re like the toad that wants to feast on a swan.’
I responded to the thrown spoon by picking up a pair of clippers and throwing them at him, hitting him on the leg. ‘My new clippers!’ Old Cui shouted. ‘You’ll buy a new pair if you’ve broken them. Now get out, all of you! I’m not going to have you two fighting over a woman in my shop!’
The veil of motives was broken by that shout. No one in the shop spoke. Boiling with rage, I glared at Xiaogai. My anger stemmed in part from his aggressive behaviour, but also because the words had hit home. I glanced at Huixian, hoping she’d come to my aid, but she bent over to pick up the clippers, her expression giving away nothing of what she felt. The hint of a vacant smile appeared on her lips. She tested the clippers. ‘Do me a favour,’ she said. ‘I don’t want you fighting over me here. If word got out, people would be thrilled to place the blame squarely on me.’ She walked over to the washbasin, then turned and beckoned me over. ‘Come on, Ku Dongliang, I’ll wash your hair for you. Since you don’t want them to hear what you say, come here and let me wash your hair, and they won’t hear a word.’
I hesitated as I saw Huixian turn on the water and test the temperature on the back of her hand. ‘Sit down,’ she said. ‘You said there’s something you want to talk about. Well, everything’s open and above board here. You can talk while I run the water, then stop and leave after I’ve turned it off.’
As they say, riding a tiger is easy, getting off is hard. So, under the mocking gazes of Xiaogai and the others, I stumbled nervously over to the washbasin. ‘Put your bag down,’ she said. I didn’t. Instead, I laid it on my knees after I’d sat down on the stool. ‘What do you have in there, gold ingots? No one’s going to steal your stuff.’ She took it from me and laid it to one side.
Warm water flowed from the hose, and I was encircled by an unfamiliar but rich fragrance, one I couldn’t begin to describe. It came not only from Huixian’s jasmine face powder, but drifted over from somewhere else as well, and I wondered if it might be her natural smell, the faint aroma of sunflowers. I know it sounds far-fetched, but her body gave off the aroma of sunflowers. ‘My dad … my dad, he …’ I couldn’t say what I wanted to say and felt as if I were suffocating.
‘What about your dad?’ she said. ‘Is that what you want to talk about, your dad?’
‘I mean, you helped my dad …’ I felt her fingers moving between my scalp and the tap and swallowed the rest of the words. ‘I mean, my dad … he’s actually a good man, someone who’s suffered a lot.’
‘That’s something you should talk to the authorities about. Why tell me?’ She kept massaging my scalp. ‘What’s wrong with your head, why’s it so stiff? Lower it for me.’
I did, and I felt her push it down further, her fingers gently massaging. Then she put one finger into each of my ears and made two full circles. My memory is clear on that, two full circles, and my old problem returned: I forgot what it was I wanted to talk to her about as a mysterious current shot down from the top of my head through my body, all the way to my crotch, where an erection sprang up. Now the feeling of suffocation intensified. Danger! Danger! My brain was sending a warning, stronger and stronger. The tap was turned off and no more water ran through the hose. The sound was replaced by my father’s raspy shout: ‘Leave, get out of there, come back to the boat!’