I received a flash of mystical inspiration there in front of the general store, which rocked me to my core and made my feet feel as if they were made of lead.
The sound of cotton-fluffing filled the air around the barbershop — peng, peng, peng — a happy, monotonous sound that reminded me to see if I had enough money to buy Father new cotton stuffing for his quilt, since that would give me an excuse for staying away so long. So I went into the cotton-fluffing shop and told the proprietor what I wanted. ‘New cotton is very expensive,’ she said. ‘You’re better off bringing in your own used cotton.’
‘I don’t have any.’
‘How about making some out of your lightest and cheapest cotton?’ They asked how soon I needed it.
‘Not too soon, but not too late either. I’ll wait in front of the barbershop.’
She gave me an ambiguous look. ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ she blurted out. ‘Were you and that Huixian across the street betrothed as children?’
That shocked me. ‘Where did you hear that?’
‘I didn’t hear it, I guessed it. You were together on one of those barges, weren’t you? That’s something you boat people do all the time.’
The man in the shop stopped beating cotton and brushed off the fluff that nearly covered his body. With a silly grin, he said, ‘Child engagements don’t count, and I suggest you put those thoughts out of your head. That Huixian is a lovely flower that blooms on a high branch, way beyond the reach of any lowly boat person.’
Struck with a sudden panic attack, I blurted out what was in my heart: ‘I don’t want to pluck the flower, I want to protect it.’
* * *
My heart had been in my mouth the last time I’d visited the People’s Barbershop. I pushed open the glass door, but stopped before going in. ‘Kongpi!’ they shouted as I stood in the doorway. ‘Kongpi’s back!’ It was immediately obvious that the barbers had begun to see me as a strange creature, and I noticed the look in Huixian’s eyes, both fear and disgust, mixed with a degree of pity.
After a brief, whispered exchange with Little Chen, Old Cui jumped down off his stool, came to the doorway and gave me a shove. ‘What the hell do you want, Kongpi?’ he asked, using uncouth Milltown slang. ‘You’re here every day. Do your balls itch or something? You look like a damned debt collector, and I want to know what the hell Huixian owes you. Is it money? Food? How much? Give me a number.’
I was stunned that Huixian would ask him to settle up with me. What did she take me for? I pushed him away and said, ‘It’s none of your damned business! If she wants to settle accounts, let her tell me to my face.’
‘You make her sick. If it’s money you want, she’ll give it to you. Or food. But if it’s anything else, dream on.’
I saw Huixian’s reflection in the glass; she was clearly agitated. She moved from one chair to the next, then went into the boiler room. I felt like shouting to her, ‘Go over to the general store, your mother’s waiting there, she’s looking for you!’ But in the end, that was a secret I had to keep to myself. If it was disclosed it would become laughable, and I’d become a lunatic in her eyes. I can’t describe the dejection I felt. I set down my bag, pointed across the street, and said, ‘You’ve got it all wrong. I’m waiting for them to make the cotton stuffing for a quilt.’
‘Then wait for it over there. Why come here? Every day you come here to cause trouble.’
‘He hasn’t got the guts. He’s like a bitch in heat.’ A man walked out of the boiler room. It was Wang Xiaogai. What a shock! He picked up a pair of scissors to trim his nose hair. ‘You can fool other people, Kongpi, but not me. I know what’s on your mind. The next time you come here like a bitch in heat, you’ll wind up exactly like your old man.’ He sneered and pointed at my crotch with his scissors. ‘That thing of yours likes to act up, and you don’t know how to control it, right? Well, I can take care of that. I’ll take half of it for you!’
This time my lungs felt as if they were about to explode. I stormed into the shop and headed straight for Xiaogai. Seeing trouble, Little Chen and Old Cui intercepted me, one holding my arm, the other wrapping his arms around my waist to stop me. ‘He was just kidding, it was a joke. He didn’t mean it, Kongpi.’ But Xiaogai, who was holding a stool in front of himself as protection, was not finished. ‘Cutting that off would remove a scourge to the people. Don’t think I wouldn’t do it. I’d be helping you out. With half a dick, you could stand in for your old man!’
The blood rushed to my head. Spoiling for a fight, I started to take off my belt. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘you and your scissors. If you don’t you’re a fucking coward. Just you try, and see if I don’t cut off your dog dick!’
Our anger had a comical effect. Little Chen let go of me and bent over in side-splitting laughter. Old Cui grabbed my hand to stop me from taking off my belt. ‘Leave that alone!’ he demanded. ‘I’m telling you to cool down, Kongpi. If you don’t stop taking off your trousers, we’ll treat you like a common hooligan.’
Huixian came out of the boiler room. ‘What’s all the fighting about?’ The sight of my trousers on their way down gave her a momentary fright. But then she rolled her eyes and said, ‘You ugly clown, you’re disgusting!’ I couldn’t blame her for calling me that, given the way things must have looked. I’d have felt the same way, but it was all Xiaogai’s fault. I hitched up my trousers, waiting for her to work out what was going on, but then I saw the cold look in her eyes and watched as she banged a comb against the table. ‘Haven’t you disgraced yourself enough?’ she said. ‘If you have, then get out of here. Just get out!’
Nothing could have hurt me more than that demand. She should have been able to see that it hadn’t been my fault, so why was she telling me to get out? I lost control. ‘I’ve disgraced myself for over twenty years!’ I bellowed. ‘So what! I’m not leaving until he comes over and cuts off my dick!’
That stopped her. ‘If he won’t go, Xiaogai, you leave. It’s time for you to go to work, anyway.’
But Xiaogai surprised us all by staying put. ‘I’m not leaving till he does,’ he said. ‘I’m responsible for keeping order, and it’s my job to watch him.’
With her hands on her hips and a frown on her face, Huixian sized up me and Xiaogai in turn before turning on her heel and saying, ‘This makes me sick. If neither of you will leave, I will.’
Everyone watched silently as she took off her white smock and hung it on a peg. Underneath she was as fashionable as ever, in a cream-coloured turtleneck sweater over a pair of black bell-bottomed trousers. A string of pearls completed the outfit. Even though she had suffered setbacks in her life, there was no denying that she had a lovely figure, with full breasts, a slim waist and nice long legs. My gaze slid timidly down and down, stopping just above her knees. But of course I couldn’t see those lovely, alluring knees, the mere thought of which gave me a case of the nerves. Lowering my head, I had a feeling that her flaring trouser legs had floated over to me, just as I heard her say in a flat tone of voice, ‘Wait here for me, Ku Dongliang. I’ll be right back.’
What was that all about? Even Xiaogai and the others gave her a puzzled look. Xiaogai broke the silence. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Huixian ignored the question. She pushed open the door and walked out. I watched as she paused by the flowerbed and gently brushed the sunflowers with her hand. Then she walked off without a backward glance.