I understood some of what Dorothy felt, and her insults and jealousies came as no great surprise because they were not new. It was not her behavior that had me feeling so bad but, rather, the reminder that I was alone. As I passed cookies, candies, dips, and spreadable cheeses, I wished what I had could be cured by an eating hinge. Or if filling up with Scotch could have filled up the empty spaces, I might have done that. Instead, I went home with one small bag and served dinner to my pitifully small family. Afterward, Dorothy retired to a chair before the fire. She read and sipped Rumple Minze while I got Lucy ready for bed.
"Are you hurting?" I asked.
"Not too much. But I can't stay awake. All of a sudden my eyes cross."
"Sleep is exactly what you need."
"I have these awful dreams."
"Do you want to tell me about them?"
"Someone's coming after me, chasing me, usually in a car. And I hear noises from the wreck that wake me up."
"What sort of noises?"
"Metal clanging. The air bag going off. Sirens. Sometimes it's like I'm asleep but not asleep and all these images dance behind my eyes. I see lights throbbing red on the pavement and men in yellow slickers. I thrash around and sweat."
"It's normal for you to experience posttraumatic stress, and it may go on for a while."
"Aunt Kay, am I going to be arrested?" Her frightened eyes stared out from bruises that broke my heart.
"You're going to be fine, but there's something I want to suggest that you probably won't like."
I told her about the private treatment center in Newport, Rhode Island, and she began to cry.
"Lucy, with a DUI conviction you're likely to have to do this anyway as part of your sentencing. Wouldn't it be better to decide on your own and get it over with?" She gingerly dabbed her eyes.
"I can't believe this is happening to me. Everything I've ever dreamed of is gone."
"That couldn't be further from the truth. You are alive. No one else was hurt. Your problems can be fixed, and I want to help you do that. But you need to trust me and listen. " She stared down at her hands on top of the covers, tears flowing.
"And I need for you to be honest with me, too." She did not look at me.
"Lucy, you didn't eat at the Outback-not unless they've suddenly added spaghetti to their menu. There was spaghetti all over the inside of the car that I assume is from your carrying out leftovers. Where did you go that night?" She looked me in the eye.
"Antonio's."
"In Stafford?" She nodded.
"Why did you lie?"
"Because I don't want to talk about it. It's nobody's business where I went."
"Who were you with?" She shook her head.
"It's not germane."
"It was Carrie Grethen, wasn't it? And some weeks ago she had convinced you to participate in a little research project, which is why you got in so much trouble. In fact, she was stirring the liquid rubber when I came to see you at ERF." My niece looked away.
"Why won't you tell me the truth?"
A tear slid down her cheek. To discuss Carrie with her was hopeless, and taking a deep breath, I went on, "Lucy, I think somebody tried to run you off the road."
Her eyes widened.
"I've looked at the car and where it happened, and there are many details that disturb me a great deal. Do you remember dialing Nine-one-one?"
"No. Did I?" She looked bewildered.
"Whoever used the phone last did, and I'll assume that was you. A state police investigator is tracking down the tape, and we'll see exactly when the call was made and what you said."
"My God."
"Plus, there are indications that someone may have been on your rear with lights on high. You had the night mirror flipped on and the sunscreen up. And the only reason I can imagine you might have the sunscreen up on a dark highway was that light was coming in the back windshield making it difficult to see." I paused, studying her shocked face.
"You don't remember any of this?"
"No."
"Do you remember anything about a car that may have been green? Perhaps a pale green? "
"No."
"Do you know anybody who has a car that color?"
"I'll have to think."
"Does Carrie?" She shook her head.
"She has a BMW convertible. It's red."
"What about a man she works with? Has she ever mentioned someone named Jerry to you?"
"No."
"Well, a vehicle left greenish paint on a damaged area on the rear of my car and took out the taillight, too. The long and short of it is that after you left Green Top, somebody followed you and hit you from the rear.
"Then several hundred feet later you suddenly accelerated, lost control of the car, and went off the road. My conjecture is that you accelerated about the same time you dialed Nine-one-one. You were frightened, and it may be that the person who struck you was on your tail again." Lucy pulled the covers up around her chin. She was pale.
"Someone tried to kill me."
"It looks to me like someone almost did kill you, Lucy. Which is why I've asked what seem very personal questions. Someone's going to ask them. Wouldn't you rather tell me?"
"You know enough."
"Do you see a relation between what's happened to you at ERF and this?"
"Of course I do," she said with feeling.
"I was set up. Aunt Kay. I never went inside the building at three a.m. I never stole any secrets!"
"We must prove that." She stared hard at me.
"I'm not sure you believe me."
I did, but I could not tell her that. I could not tell her about my meeting with Carrie. I had to muster all the discipline I could to be lawyerly with my niece right then because I knew it would be wrong to lead her.
"I can't really help if you don't talk freely to me," I said.
"I'm doing my best to keep an open mind and clear head so I can do the right thing. But frankly, I don't know what to think."
"I can't believe you would… Well, fuck it. Think what you want." Her eyes filled with tears.
"Please don't be angry with me. This is a very serious matter we're dealing with, and how we handle it will affect the rest of your life. There are two priorities.
"The first is your safety, and after hearing what I've just told you about your accident, maybe you have a better idea why I want you in the treatment center. No one will know where you are. You will be perfectly safe. The other priority is to get you out of these snarls so your future isn't jeopardized."
"I'll never be an FBI agent. It's too late."
"Not if we clear your name at Quantico and get a judge to reduce the DUI charge."
"How?"
"You asked for a big gun. Maybe you've got one."
"Who?"
"Right now all you need to know is your chances are good if you listen to me and do what I say."
"I'll feel like I'm being sent to a detention center."
"The therapy will be good for you for a lot of reasons."
"I'd rather stay here with you. I don't want to be labeled an alcoholic the rest of my life. Besides, I don't think I am one."
"Maybe you aren't. But you need to gain some insight into why you've been abusing alcohol."
"Maybe I just like the way it feels when I'm not here. Nobody's ever wanted me here anyway. So maybe it makes sense," she said bitterly. We talked a while longer, then I spent time on the phone with airlines, hospital personnel, and a local psychiatrist who was a good friend. Edgehill, a well-respected treatment center in Newport, could admit her as early as the next afternoon. I wanted to take her, but Dorothy would not hear of it. This was a time when a mother should be with her daughter, she said, and my presence was neither necessary nor appropriate. I was feeling very out of sorts when the phone rang at midnight.
"I hope I didn't wake you," Wesley said.
"I'm glad you called."
"You were right about the print. It's a reversal. Lucy couldn't have left it unless she made the cast herself."