‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’
When they were rocking up the road behind the horse’s trot, true snow blowing in from Denton’s side, Heseltine said, ‘What did you find in that barn?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Are we pushing on to Paris?’
Denton was driving, enjoying the feel of the reins between his fingers, the almost electric connection with the horse. ‘Not this trip, I think.’
‘Then you did find something in the barn.’
‘I’m not sure.’
The truth of it was, he wanted to think. He was sure the earth had been disturbed along the stable wall where the hay had lain. If it had been, if it wasn’t simply some effect of the hay’s lying on it, was it something the farmer had done? Or something the two visitors had done? He couldn’t imagine what, except the obvious. Bending over the apparently loose dirt, smelling its mouldy odour, he had had a sudden sense of disorientation; some of it was the evening spent with people whose language he didn’t know, a severe reminder of his foreignness. He had told Janet Striker he was an outsider, but he had not meant that he was an alien being; there, bending over small clods of dirt, he had quite simply thought he was meddling in a different world.
At any rate, to dig there himself was impossible. The English police couldn’t do it, either, he thought; they were as foreign as he, would be even more precise about not stepping on somebody else’s toes. It would be a job for the French themselves, but to bring them to it would be an extraordinary task.
Not enough evidence. There had never been enough evidence.
He was having the rare experience of believing that he might best let sleeping dogs lie. And he wanted to go home, to be an outsider in a place he understood. And to see Janet Striker, who might have ended her absence already.
The next morning at Waterloo, they made their way through the station and hesitated outside by the cab rank. It was a small awkwardness: two men who didn’t know each other very well yet had shared several days together, neither easy with any show of sentiment.
‘I can drop you,’ Denton said.
‘Oh — no, thanks. I’d rather — I have an errand or two to run.’
‘Well, then.’ Denton held out his hand. ‘Thanks for helping me out.’
‘Oh, not at all. It’s I who should-I feel so much better. I mean to say, getting away rather clarified things.’
‘Good.’
‘I truly enjoyed it.’
‘Some memorable food, anyway.’
‘No, no, all of it — the sense that-Life goes on. There are other lives, very different lives to mine, and they’re utterly indifferent to me and my — history. I’m truly grateful.’
Heseltine shook his hand again. Denton motioned for a cab and the front one in the rank trotted forward the few steps to him.
Heseltine said, ‘A friend, an acquaintance really, said he thought I could find something managing a plantation in Jamaica. He has relatives there. I value your opinion — what d’you think?’
Denton’s flash of thought told him that ‘managing a plantation’ in Jamaica was probably as much like being the overseer of the slaves in the old American South as you could hope to find, but he knew he shouldn’t say that, and he muttered something about the climate.
‘Yes, well, it’s hot.’
American slaves had once been threatened with being ‘sold to the Indies’. It had been meant as a death threat, not from heat but from disease. He said, ‘I think you can do better.’
Heseltine blushed and shook his head. Denton got into his cab and waved as it clip-clopped away.
The snow that had been falling on Normandy had already disappeared from London; new weather had blown in from the west while he had slept on the overnight Channel steamer. The sky was bright blue, splotched with white clouds that looked like some sort of meringue that had been twisted into rounds and curls; when they passed across the sun, the streets were suddenly bereft, almost grim, but in the returning sunlight colour shone and he felt cheered. When they got to Russell Square, he felt his tension rising and knew it was worry about her: would she be back? Or would there be some final letter from her, I have decided to move away? When they turned into Guilford Street, he was angry that she could have this effect on him; when they turned into Lamb’s Conduit Street, he had thrown himself back and was rubbing his lips with a hand, hopeful, anxious, eager to forgive. But forgive what?
‘You look a sight,’ Atkins said when he opened the door. ‘Been sleeping in that suit, have you?’
‘I’m not in the mood.’
‘No offence intended, General, only trying to lighten the prodigal’s return. Sincere apologies, truly-’
They were going up the stairs, Denton’s Gladstone bag bumping against Atkins’s calves and then the treads with the sound of a small boat bumping a dock. At the top, Denton ripped off his hat and overcoat and went straight to the table where the mail lay. He went through it quickly, waiting for Atkins to say something like Nothing from her, don’t get your hopes up, but Atkins, once cautioned, was wise. He simply gathered up the coat and hat and the valise and carried them up the stairs.
There were bills, there were notices, there were invitations, but there was nothing from Janet Striker.
Damn her.
He took a much-needed bath and announced that he was going to New Scotland Yard.
Atkins looked innocent but said, ‘Something you found in France?’
‘I don’t know. That’s why I want to talk to Munro.’ He knew that Atkins wanted to be told about it, but this morning, for once, he didn’t want to talk to Atkins. He was hurt; he was angry; he wanted more action. He thought, I should have dug up the damned barn while I had the chance. Of course, he hadn’t had the chance — the farmer, cautious and fearful of novelty, would have stopped him — but he didn’t admit that to himself.
‘Get you a cab, then?’ Atkins said.
‘I’ll walk.’
‘Going to rain this p.m.’
Atkins provided an umbrella, and Denton, looking entirely proper in an old but beautifully cut frock coat, one of the hated high collars and a necktie the colour of strong Burgundy, took it without a word. He even wore a mostly waterproof bowler.
The sense of being imposed on, of being ill treated, stayed with him. She should have written. She should at least have done that much. She was playing some game. He turned right at the end of Lamb’s Conduit Street and, instead of heading for New Scotland Yard as he’d said, walked straight on towards Westerley Street and Mrs Castle’s. He cursed his own inconstancy.
He turned back twice, once lingered by a shop window, feeling irrationally that he was being followed, but there was nobody. What was the matter with him? It was the sense of ill-treatment, he thought.
Fred Oldaston was not on the door at Westerley Street. It was not yet noon; the door was opened by a middle-aged maid in a perfectly proper black dress and white apron. ‘I’m so sorry, sir, we’re not receiving,’ she said.
‘I need to see Mrs Castle.’
‘She’s not receiving callers yet, sir. If you’ll come back-’
He produced a card and insisted she take it in. Something about him impressed her — frightened her, more likely — and she held the door for him, then left him in the little entry where Fred usually sized up the clientele. She wasn’t gone long, gave no sign that anything unusual was happening; she took his umbrella, thrust it into a gold and blue ceramic cylinder, said only, ‘This way, please,’ and led him through the public rooms and into the one with the William Morris paper where Ruth Castle usually received the male world, and then through it and into the cool blue-and-green sitting room where he had met Janet Striker after her rooms had been invaded.