Susan fended off the worries of her parents. She put them down for their cautiousness. She lectured on the moral and tactical differences between those who believed in going to prison and those who preferred Canada. Daniel drank his drink. The Foundation was to be named after Paul and Rochelle Isaacson. The Paul and Rochelle Isaacson Foundation for Revolution. The money would come from the trust when it came due to them. She was already talking to people in New York. In the coming year, on their respective birthdays, his twenty-fifth, her twenty-first, they would come into possession of the trust fund set up in their name by Ascher a dozen years before, and administered with great skill since by their foster father. Half and half. Susan suggested that she would welcome Daniel’s participation in the Foundation, not only for the money that was his, but because it would indicate, as well, a unanimity of family feeling, a proper assumption of their legacy by the Isaacson children. Indicate to whom, Daniel wanted to know. Why to the world, Susan said, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. Daniel asked Robert Lewin his opinion of the idea. Robert Lewin said Susan had been thinking about it for a while and had asked him if it was technically feasible, which it was. Daniel said sitting in front of draft boards or going to jail for refusing to be inducted was not his idea of how to make revolution. Susan nodded as if this was a point she had expected to come up. She herself thought resistance was an early phase, a stage in political development, and that other things were going on, new things were beginning to happen, and didn’t he keep his ears open at Columbia because she was sure Cambridge didn’t have a monopoly on New Left dialectic. She herself went through changes every day, and she would think the proper position now was not to stand outside and criticize but to get inside and help create. “What the movement needs is money, Daniel. The Foundation can have a fantastic stabilizing effect. It can be really great. It can be something out of which other things happen.”
“Susan, how is it whenever you present me with an idea, or ask me to do something, it’s in a way calculated to turn me off.”
She lowered her eyes. “I guess, Daniel, because not much is required to turn you off.”
“Let’s keep the discussion on a reasonably high plane,” Robert Lewin said.
“I try to, Daddy,” Susan said, “but anything that comes from me is automatically suspect. Right, Daniel?”
“No, it’s just that I hear about it as a privilege, after the decisions are made.”
“But nothing has happened yet. We’re just talking.”
“Who’s just talking.”
“You’re unbelievable. We’re just talking, now, you and me. Us.”
“No, you said you were talking to people in New York.”
“Oh, right, I have, I’m talking to a lot of people. I talk to whoever listens.”
“Who?”
Susan nimbly rebuttoned her sleeves. “Forget it. Forget I said a thing. You do as you like.” She turned to our father. “It makes me sad, it really does. We’re in this horrible imperialist war, we’re burning people, and the issue is how I happen to talk.”
“No, I’ll tell you what the issue is. The issue is if you want to give your money away why not just do it, why do you have to put a family tag on it? Why do you have to advertise?”
“That’s a Rightist question, It’s not advertising. The name Isaacson has meaning. What happened to the Isaacsons is a lesson to this generation. I suppose you can’t understand that.”
“There it is, the fucking family gift for self-objectification. You hear that? She calls her own mother and father the Isaacsons!”
“Listen, you two,” Robert Lewin said. “If you can’t conduct a civil discussion I’d prefer no discussion at all.”
“I’m not ashamed of the name. I’m proud of who I am. Unlike you. If you could only see the schmucky way you come on in this world!”
“That may be. But I don’t think starting a Foundation is necessarily a good idea just because it has the name Isaacson on it. How will it work? Who is it for? What will it do?”
“WHY NOT LET’S TRY IT AND SEE!” She had stood up, and her fists were clenched at her sides. “You cop out with this phony cynicism bag that conveniently saves you from doing anything. Well, you tell me what to do. You give me a better idea what to do with this blood money.”
“This blood money has bought you an education, skiing lessons and records.”
“Why don’t you just admit you’re a selfish prick!”
“On the contrary, I don’t want the bread. I thought we’d give it to our parents.”
Robert Lewin said, “That is the one alternative that as guardian I won’t permit.”
“Well, I think you ought to reconsider. Your just due for all the bullshit you’ve put up with.”
“Don’t worry, Daniel. You can forget the Foundation. It doesn’t need you. You have all the political development of a retardate. Go back to your life. Take this milk cow of yours and go home.”
“If this doesn’t stop right now,” Lise said, “I’m not going to serve dinner.”
“Go back to the stacks, Daniel. The world needs another graduate student.”
“Well, I don’t have to go out and get beat up to justify my existence.”
“No, you’d rather jerk off behind a book.”
“This must stop,” the mother said. “You are ruining my dinner.”
“Susan, I don’t think you’re handling this very well.”
“Oh yes she is, she really is. She’s a Revolutionary! She’s got all the answers. She’s been to the barricades!”
“Oh Jesus,” Susan said, beginning to cry. “And you know I blame you,” she said to Robert Lewin. “I blame you all for the piece of shit this brother of mine—”
“Susan—”
“I mean what did they do it for? What did they die for? For this piece of shit?”
“Susan—”
“Leave me alone, Daddy. You let him sit there and twist everything I say. My mother and father were murdered — why do you let him sit here and do it again!”
4. You no longer exist. This curse, for that is its literary form, actually has two stages. The first is a prophecy of the final outcome, a disappearance of Daniel into his own asshole, which is the only appropriate destination for his egocentricity. Until that happens, however, another act is required to get him immediately out of the human community. He is “written” out of mind. Why in this complicated construction is Daniel not ready now to disappear up his own asshole? Because he has not used up all the chances? Because he is not yet beyond redemption? Someday is not today. Nevertheless he must be purged. There is some indication that this was easier said than done. There is some evidence that she was driven finally to eradicate him from her consciousness by the radical means of eradicating her consciousness.