Lover One bowed his head in courtesy. ‘You never know my mother,’ he pointed out, with stonkingly obvious good sense.
‘That’s true,’ Peter conceded. ‘But you could tell me some things about her, and I could turn those things into a… speech.’ Even as he made the offer, it seemed absurd.
‘Word can make no ฐange in my mother now,’ said Lover One.
‘Words can comfort the friends and family left behind,’ said Peter. ‘Would you like me to read from the Book?’
Jesus Lover One smoothed his hands over an invisible molehill in the air, signalling that this would not be necessary. ‘Kurรี่สีberg give uสี word from the Book, long before.’ And he recited them for Peter’s approval.
A trickle of lisping nonsense entered Peter’s ears. It took him a few seconds to re-play the meaningless syllables and translate them into a Bible verse, a verse which in fact was not from the Bible but from the Book of Common Prayer:
‘Aสีheสี รี่o aสีheสี, duสีรี่ รี่o duสีรี่.’
For several dozen hours after this incident, Peter lived in fear that some generous soul would bring him, as a special treat, a dish made from maggots. The Oasans were always bringing him snacks and — who knows? — they might think he was getting fed up with whiteflower. Surprise dessert for Father Peter!
He knew his revulsion was irrational, as the food would no doubt be delicious and probably very good for him too. Moreover he was aware that every country had its culinary challenges which provoked disgust in squeamish foreigners — the Japanese with their giant fish eyeballs and cod semen and still-squirming octopus, the Africans with their goat heads, the Chinese with their bird’s nest soup that was really saliva, and so on. If he’d been ministering in any of these places, chances were he’d be honoured with one of these specialties. Wasn’t there even an Italian cheese that was rotten and maggot-infested? Casu marzu, it was called. (Amazing how he could retrieve that term, which he probably read just once in a magazine years ago, when only yesterday he’d blanked on the name of the street where he lived.)
Of course, he’d never had to eat any of these outlandish substances. All of his ministries, until now, had been in England. The most exotic thing he’d ever been served, at an outreach convention in Bradford, had been caviar, and his problem hadn’t been the fish eggs themselves, but the money that the organisers had channelled into the catering when they were supposed to be raising funds for the city’s homeless.
Anyway: this wasn’t about maggots per se. It was about the vivid memory of Jesus Lover One’s mother, and the unerasable, emotionally charged connection between her and the maggots that had fed on her. His mind boggled at how her own son could bear to eat a foodstuff that had been produced in this way.
To this question, as with so many others, God organised a very specific and enlightening answer. Jesus Lover One showed up at the church one evening, carrying a hamper of food. Wordlessly he unpacked it in front of Peter as they sat down together on the bed behind the pulpit. The food smelled wholesome and was still warm. It was whiteflower soup in its mushroom guise, and several hunks of whiteflower bread with brown crusts and pale insides, fresh from the oven.
‘I’m glad it’s whiteflower,’ Peter said, deciding to be totally frank. ‘I was worried you would bring me something made from… the creatures you harvested from your mother’s body. I don’t think I could eat that.’
Lover One nodded. ‘I alสีo. Other can. Noรี่ I.’
Peter absorbed the words, but couldn’t interpret their meaning. Maybe Lover One was informing him of the etiquette governing this particular ritual. Or was it an openhearted disclosure? Tell me more, he thought, but he knew from experience that keeping silent in the hope that an Oasan would fill the silence didn’t work.
‘It’s a very good and… admirable idea,’ he said, ‘to… do what you people do. With someone who’s just died.’ He wasn’t sure how to go on. The bottom line was that no amount of admiration could prevent him being disgusted. If he put that into words, he’d be lecturing Lover One on the irreconcilable differences between their species.
Again Lover One nodded. ‘We do all thing รี่o make food. Make food for many.’ A bowl of soup sat balanced in the lap of his tunic. He had eaten none of it yet.
‘I’ve been dreaming of your mother,’ Peter confessed. ‘I didn’t know her as a person, I’m not saying… ’ He took a deep breath. ‘The sight of her covered in insects, and then in maggots, and everyone just… ’ He looked down at Lover One’s boots, even though there was no possibility of eye-to-eye confrontation anyway. ‘I’m not used to it. It upset me.’
Lover One sat unmoving. One gloved hand rested on his abdomen, the other held a piece of bread. ‘I alสีo,’ he said.
‘I thought… I got the impression you… all of you… were afraid of death,’ continued Peter. ‘And yet… ’
‘We fear death,’ Lover One affirmed. ‘However. Fear cannoรี่ hold life in a body when life iสี over. Nothing can hold life in a body. Only the Lord God.’
Peter stared straight into the unreadable face of his friend. ‘There can be moments in a person’s life,’ he suggested, ‘when grief over the loss of a loved one is stronger than faith.’
Lover One waited a long time before responding. He ate a few spoonfuls of the soup, which was now cold, thick and congealed. He ate some bread, tearing off small pieces and inserting them gently into the lipless, toothless hole in his head.
‘My mother very imporรี่anรี่ woman,’ he said at last. ‘For me.’
In this second sojourn among the Oasans, God took care to keep Peter’s experiences in balance. His first death was followed, not too long afterwards, by his first birth. A woman called ฐสีคน — not a Jesus Lover, evidently — was having a baby and Peter was invited to the delivery. Jesus Lover One, his escort, implied that this was a great honour; it was certainly a surprise, because he’d never been formally acknowledged by the settlement’s unbelievers. But this was an event so joyous that the usual reticence was put aside and the entire Oasan community was united in hospitality.
The contrast between the death and the birth was striking. Whereas the body of Lover One’s mother had lain unattended in a back yard, mourned by no one except her son, left in solitude to attract insects, then treated as if it was nothing more than a vegetable patch, the woman who was about to give birth was the focus of an enormous amount of fuss. The streets leading to the house were remarkably busy, and everyone seemed to be heading for the same place. When Peter first saw the house, he thought it had caught fire, but the vapour wafting out of the windows was incense.
Inside, the expectant mother was not lying in a bed surrounded by medical equipment, or suffering the trials of labour under the supervision of a midwife, but walking around freely, socialising. Dressed in a snow-white variant of the Oasans’ usual attire — looser, thinner, more like a nightgown — she held court, accepting visitors’ congratulations one by one. Peter couldn’t tell if she was happy or anxious, but she was obviously not in pain, nor could he detect any swelling in her trim little body. Her gestures were elegant and formalised, like a medieval dance, with a whole host of partners. This was ฐสีคน’s Big Day.
Peter knew that the Oasans didn’t celebrate marriages. Their sexual pairings were private arrangements, so discreet as to be seldom alluded to. But the day of childbirth was a flagrantly public highlight in a woman’s life, a ritual exhibition every bit as extravagant as a wedding party. ฐสีคน’s house was heaving with well-wishers, dozens of bustling bodies dressed in bright colours. All the pencils in the Aquarelle set, thought Peter, as he strove to discern the difference between one robe and another. Vermillion, coral, apricot, copper, cerise, salmon — those were just some of the pinks he could put a name to; others were beyond his vocabulary. Across the room, weaving through the crowd, a person clad in pale violet was reunited with an old acquaintance clad in unripe plum, and only when they touched each other, glove to arm, did Peter see that two robes which he would otherwise have perceived as identical in colour were, in fact, unique. And so it went on, all over the house — people greeting each other, waving at each other, needing no more than a glance to know and be known. In the midst of this easily intimate hubbub, Peter appreciated he would need to develop a whole new relationship with colour if he was ever to recognise more than a couple of dozen individuals among this city’s multitudes.